


I'm Not Afraid

by EmotionalDad



Category: Haikyuu!!, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Artists, Alternate Universe - Ballet, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Sports, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Artist Keith (Voltron), Awkward Kageyama Tobio, BDSM, Ballet, Biracial Lance (Voltron), Blow Jobs, Bondage and Discipline, Bottom Kageyama Tobio, Bottom Oikawa Tooru, Comeplay, Cuddling & Snuggling, Denial of Feelings, Dirty Talk, Dom Hinata Shouyou, Dom/sub Undertones, Drama, Exhibitionism, Face-Sitting, Family Drama, First Kiss, First Time, Fisting, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Forehead Kisses, Gay, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Sex, Homophobia, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, Hurt/Comfort, Keith writer, Kinky, Lingerie, Long-Term Relationship(s), Loss of Virginity, M/M, Making Out, Mental Breakdown, Mirror Sex, Multi, Mutual Pining, Nude Photos, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Orphan Keith (Voltron), Panic Attacks, Pansexual Character, Pansexual Lance (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Plot Twists, Protective Kageyama Tobio, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Scent Kink, Scents & Smells, Self Confidence Issues, Sex Toys, Sex Toys Under Clothing, Slow Burn, Teasing, Thighfucking, Trans Character, Transphobia, Trust Issues, Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole, Voyeurism, Writer, cross dressing, feminization kink, kagehina switch, sport au, switch - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-03 03:11:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 43,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8694100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmotionalDad/pseuds/EmotionalDad
Summary: 'How can you love yourself when you never had someone who truly loved you?'              Keith has asked himself this question every single day of his life until he bumps into a walking meme, also called Lance McClain, and falls in love like an amateur. Hinata loves ballet but it seems like ballet doesn't love him that much. How is he supposed to dance with a genius when he can't even dance properly? (Or where Keith and Hinata had been rejected by their family because of who they were. They learn how to accept themselves thanks to the only ones who accepted them.) WARNING:It's an Alternative Universe, No need to know either Haikyuu or Voltron to read it.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> *Breathe*
> 
>  
> 
> It'a your fav emo boy back again with the fanfiction (@tsukkinsevenbf on twitter)  
> So, I felt the urge to write this crossover. I heard somewhere Klance and Kagehina could cure acne and the worst disease. 
> 
> I have to be serious.
> 
> I dedicate this baby to Shelby (@_justshelby on twitter) with whom I spent too much time thinking about the different Headcannons. 
> 
> A small warning: English isn't my native language. I deeply love it but it's not my native one, thank you. 
> 
>  
> 
> Another small warning: It's an Alternative Universe, No need to know either Haikyuu or Voltron. I just chose these anime because they're my current fandoms. 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like this first chapter, Kudos and Comments are gladly appreciated.

 

 

 _We'll walk this road together, through the storm_  
_Whatever weather, cold or warm_

 _Just letting you know that you're not_ alone 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keith reached into his pocket and showed his hand. Barely, two dollars, it was not even enough for a meal. All he wanted was a hot burger and some crispy fries but it seemed like fate wanted to mess with him, again.  
  
  
  
It was forever a repetition of pathetic days, everyone in the line was staring at him as if he was some kind of alien, which made his body tense.

The waitress gave Keith a somehow reassuring smile, it was not the best idea in order to reassure him, and the opposite situation went on as he ran a hand through his hair, tugging at it furiously.

How can you feel okay when you are stuck in the middle of one of the biggest train station in the world, alone and broke? It was one of the worst situations ever in his opinion.

Before he punches the waitress with her annoying smile, Keith considered the room where he stood. It was a regular Five Guys restaurant decorated with a few posters of their homemade dishes; children would thrust their hands into the huge peanut boxes as their parents would chat quietly. Some commuters, the most troublesome, would go, every five minutes, to the window check whether their trains were late.  
  
  
  
Keith puffed, the trains were not going to disappear in five minutes but hey anything is possible.  
  
In his case, he was not exactly the most eager to leave, his grip on his travel pouch tightened. What was going to happen, he didn’t know. He had nothing to do here, in this room with a strong smell of fries, fresh baked buns and the wonderful odor of meat emanated from the grills.  
  
  
  
Just when he decided to leave the restaurant, he bumped into someone and heard him talk.  
  
Keith froze on his feet, agape. So that was true, wonders happen, this night, Fate had its lucky bell ringing for Keith.  
  
  
  
'Don't- Don’t leave,' Keith raised his head at him, curiously but he let him talk, 'Sorry 'mam, I asked him to wait for me and I probably took a bit longer than I thought.'  
  
  
  
'It’s okay, do I have to add something to his order?' The waitress tapped something on the screen as Keith and the stranger looked at each other. Who even the hell was that tall dude? He seemed to be around his age at the most one year older but he didn’t look weird so Keith remained silent.  
  
  
  
'Yeah, I'm gonna have a bacon cheeseburger and a small fry... and you, Babe, do you want a little something?'  
  
  
  
Keith rolled his eyes at the guy before he cleared his throat, 'I guess I'll go for an Amaretto Sour Vegan Shake.'  
  
  
  
Keith didn’t know what had just happened but he couldn’t help the nervous smile on his lips as he went in the back of the restaurant. As soon as he was sat still, Keith dropped his face into his hands just as he giggled like his five-year-old self whenever a stunt would be planned.  
  
  
  
'Hello, Babe,' the guy cackled like a stupid hen, leaving Keith jaded and as if it wasn’t already enough he kept rubbing salt in the wounds, 'Y'know cause I called you _Babe_.'  
  
  
  
Keith sighed, what an imbecile, exhausting moron. However, he wasn’t in the position to complain so he just snickered along with him, 'Yeah, I heard it.'  
  
  
  
Then Keith discerned the full tray in the lad's hands and smirked at it. The smell tackled him, even for him it sounded stupid. But his stomach growled louder, the desperate yell echoed in the room. Keith blushed, his skin stained in a dark shade of red.  
  
  
  
'Someone sounds starving, here, eat, dude.' Lance threw the sandwich to Keith.  
  
  
  
Keith caught the burger, unwrapped it, burning himself in the process only to bite it. And God, it was the Gates of Heaven; Keith slouched in his seat, his eyes closed as he chewed his bite.  
  
Now, he was groaning. Okay, he could finally understand the meaning of love. This guy, here, had to be some goddess to help him. Keith swallowed, wiped his mouth and eyed him.  
  
  
  
'Thanks, I guess?' he muttered lifting his eyes  
  
  
  
'Ha, it's okay! By the way, my name is Lance,' he stretched his arm to reach Keith.  
  
  
  
'Keith. I'm Keith,' he gave his hand to Lance and shook it.  
  
  
  
Both beamed at each other. They had a stupid smile on their face but it didn’t matter since they breathed a weird happiness, it was just the way they were.  
  
  
  
Then, when they parted, Keith grabbed a few fries; thrust them into his mouth to hide his lasting smile. His day wasn’t that awful eventually; he had someone talking with him, even eating with him. Instead of wandering alone in the train station by him, Lance was here, despite he didn’t know him. It wasn’t a big deal but for once, he felt grateful to have someone by his side.  
  
  
  
  
  
'Where are you going?' Lance asked when he put his drink down.  
  
  
  
At Keith's confused expression, Lance thought about his question once again, mentally rephrased it. Next to Keith, he noticed a large pouch which meant he was also traveling. The way the guy before Lance was devouring his sandwich showed that he was either starving or just someone with weird eating habits.  
  
  
  
'I was just curious about you. I mean, look at you with your bag. You are not here to visit the train station, I suppose.'  
  
  
  
The fry Keith was holding dropped onto his tray, his eyes narrowed slightly before he was back at his usual deadpan.  
  
'I have nowhere to go.'  
  
He declared as a matter of fact as if he was not a bit affected by that. His blank expression cause Lance to snort quite loudly until he realized Keith was everything but joking along. Lance frowned while drinking his Lemonade.  
Everyone had somewhere to go, despite if it wasn't the best place to go. He had to go to college, some were traveling, and other headed to the place they called home. How was it even possible to have nowhere? For him, it was unthinkable.  
  
'What? But- I mean... How is it possible?' Lance asked, worried to choose wrong words.  
  
Keith bit his lip; he didn't know what to tell him. Today had not been the best day ever, he felt a pang in his chest, and all he wanted was to get rid of it. Only the thought made him feel all numb. Silence replaced words, he had nothing to say, no explanation on everything going on.  
  
Instead of pressuring him, Lance nodded at Keith with a small smile.  
  
'Dude, it's okay. I can help you for a few days although I don't live here. I kinda live far...like south far but I have a nice room and-,' he paused scratching the back of his head, ‘It’s not huge or fancy to be honest but my Mama has always said 'Mijo when you see someone facing difficulties, when you can help, just do it. Spread positivity around you or you’ll be lonely forever’ Y'know like it's always given back sooner or later. I try, even if it’s not always enough but hopefully, one day, I will do something great.’

 

  
In front of him, Keith couldn’t say anything. He has never been in a situation where someone was being nice for no reason. Keith just rested here ajar; he tried to think of something to say, a sentence, or a word, just something able to summarize what he felt at the moment. But nothing was good enough; it was either too cringes worthy or too embarrassing.

 

  
This Lance guy appeared so friendly and approachable, Keith thought as the guy kept talking about himself, unlike Keith. Of course, he would never ever admit that fact. Yet Keith could secretly compare himself to Lance who had always this stupid grin, whereas he wore a constant scowl. It wasn’t as if he raged all day long. It may be the truth but no one had to know.  
The reason he didn’t smile that much was quite simple. What was the point in smiling for no reason? Keith could smile, he had the muscles for it, and he only used them when he felt sincerely happy.  
Lance believed it was a smile like the other that Keith was wearing. He didn’t know all the thoughts running in Keith’s head as he eyed him, his signature smirk on his lips.  
  
Keith wasn’t capable of more gratefulness. To show it was almost hopeless, only the thought of it was there. Thanking Lance by accepting his proposition was a way to express one of thousand words that couldn’t leave his lips.

  
‘Thank you,’ he took a deep breath looking at his hands, it was definitely way more difficult than what he assumed and Lance didn’t make it in any way easier. This giant dork wore a stupid, idiot and annoying toothy grin as he bit his straw. ‘When I have enough money, I’ll pay you everything back. I can promise you that.’  
  
  
  
  
Keith understood his savior was a real fool when he argued with one of the Amtrak’s cashier. To summarize what was going on, Lance had to pay for a ticket for Keith but they weren’t seat next to each other. He decided that picking a fight with the cashier will solve his issue which didn’t work. Obviously, being exhausted and as always a bitter king, he dived into the drama real quick; yelling at the cashier for being too slow and at Lance who yelled too loud. It had just delayed them; Lance sulked like an annoying baby. Keith hated children, so a 6 feet high baby infuriated him inside.  
When they managed to switch ticket with the woman who supposed to seat next to Lance, they headed to the train. Lance flirted with her just for that just in front of Keith. He was just so ridiculous, using the lamest and worst pick-up lines. The girl, tired of him, agreed only because she wanted him to shut up.

  
It was about to be one of longest ride in his life, Keith sighed as he rested his cheek in his hand, his eyes staring at the view. The seat was everything but comfy, a thick odor hung in the train and Lance kept taking when all Keith wanted was to listen to his music.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The first rays of sunlight woke Keith up around 7 am. He rubbed his eyes to wipe away all mark of tiredness on his face. For the moment, the ride had been long enough the boys fell asleep and slept almost the entire trip despite the uncomforting position. Keith had learnt a few things about Lance such as his ability to act like a baby when he was actually 19; he was also someone who loved competition as he would do everything to win all their games on Clash Royal. Lance was a walking meme, always being a dork but Keith didn’t have anything against him.  
What shocked Keith the most was how he much he had laughed in the last ten hours. Lance was a real magnet, being the arrogant brat he managed to attract people towards him. His natural aura made them feel okay to be around him.

  
Since Lance purred, Keith observed his sleeping figure. Soft snores left his mouth, drool ran down his cheek yet Keith stared at him.

  
It wasn’t the most beautiful sight.

_Hell_

  
It was totally disgusting; however Keith realized he was leering at him, at his tanned skin shining in the light.

It was pretty confusing to see how someone could sleep that peaceful while sleeping, especially in a damn train.  
It was going to be hard to wake him up, the train was supposed to get to Durham in less than 30 minutes. Keith inwardly cringed at the thought.  
What if Lance gets angry at him? _Come on, coward..._  
  
Lance jerked awake when he felt a hand shaking his shoulder as his head hit the window as he yelped in pain.  
  
'Oh my god, Lance are you okay?' Keith asked trying not to sound too worried.  
  
'Yeah, of course I am. Lemme remind you that I'm the coolest dude ever. Hell! I'm a masterpiece. How could someone as cool as me be in pain?' Lance declared while ignoring the deadpan on Keith face. Of course he was alright, Keith needn't worry about him.

  
'Yeah, yeah. A dude as cool, as handsome, as you are, you are still drooling like a stupid llama'  
  
When Lance realized that, a dark blush coated his cheeks. Keith rolled his eyes when the idiot wiped his cheek.  
  
'We're almost there Lance, we should probably get ready?' Keith scratched the back of his head awkwardly as Lance stood still.

  
'Yeah, I guess we should,' he turned his head at the window, so did Keith.

  
The train slowed down making it easier for them to watch the landscape sliding before their eyes. Lance thought about Keith. The guy hasn't told him anything yet about him whereas Lance kept talking. Curiosity pressed his mind but Lance knew better that sometimes we have to wait for the secrets to flow by themselves. Even though it could be long, they usually worth it.  
  
Anyway, Lance didn’t know the boy in front of him. He had decided to help just because of his natural kindness. Keith would stay at Lance's place only for a few days or even less. It was only for a rush.  
It was point to be interested in someone's life when you would share their life just for a couple days. It has no sense.  
So, why the hell was thinking and being curious about him?  
He frowned; normal people didn’t act like that.  
Well first of all, normal people wouldn’t casually invite a stranger.  
  
'Durham!'  
  
The loud voice in the microphone made them both startled. They were finally there after long hours. Keith was exhausted, his body sore from the night in this train.  
According to Lance, someone was going to pick them up to drive them to Lance's apartment not that far from their college.  
  
'Damn that’s some good ass university!'  
  
Keith sat on Lance's bed after he had observed the whole room. Lance and his roommate, Hunk, stood behind him as he stared at the room. They both had a nice smile at him.  
Keith understood Lance was someone clean and organized. It was clean, the bed was made, and a soft flower scent was noticeable.  
The look on Keith reminded Lance of his first days on the campus. He was also fascinated by pretty much everything here, from the college schedule to the window wall in his bedroom. Although he wasn’t the best student, he had the motivation and the strength to nail his finals to finally enroll one of the best universities in the south of the United States.  
It was also the first time he was proud of himself, seeing he started from nothing to now studying in this pretty good university. He sat next to Keith who was still observing the posters all over the room.

  
'So... Keith you can take the bed and I can sleep on the futon.'  
  
Keith nodded, he noticed something outside. From the window wall, he could see the dance studio for the dance department of the art faculty. Lance's apartment was barely 20 feet from it, the piano notes could be heard here. Lance turned his face; Keith had a smile on his lips, not a small one but a happy and genuine. The girl class was here, stretching and warming up. Was Keith interested in them? In these girls wearing tights and leotard?

  
'I'll leave for some classes. Is it okay if I leave you for a few hours... alone?' Lance breathed out not leaving his eyes from the window wall.

  
'Yeah don’t worry dude.'  
  
Hunk was almost forgotten by the boys who were too busy staring at the dance studio. He cleared his throat causing them to look at him.

  
'Oh damn. Sorry bro, I take my stuff and join you, okay?'

  
Hunk nodded as he grabbed a cereal bar. He gave it a look as if it was going to save his life. Lance stood up, grabbing his class books and joined Hunk.  
  
Before he left, Lance called Keith out, 'Oi! You can put your stuff in these drawers.'  
  
With that, he left.

  
Now that he was alone in this apartment, in this bedroom, Keith had to think about something. What would he do now? He couldn’t stay at Lance's place all day long with no goal nor point. Keith must pay back Lance for his kindness so he had to look for a job or something.  
After he had finished storing his clothes in the drawers, Keith noticed some brushes and paint on Lance's desk. He frowned, there was no drawing around.  
He sat by the window wall after he has taken a bottle of water. The girls were already gone. Keith decided he would keep himself busy by watching the other class train. Something in this room moved him He knew better he should not let himself overwhelmed by this way of life.  
  
_It was just a matter of time before he was back in his usual loneliness.  
____________ ________________________

  
The wooden floor cracked under the pressure of the students. All started warming up, some used the bars fixed on the walls and others were on the floor.  
Kageyama rested his forehead on his knees as he stretched his back. He was suddenly slammed against the floor, his nose eating the wood. A sore feeling spread across his face, Kageyama groaned and cupped his nose.

  
'Who the fuck pushed me?' he yelled at everyone.

  
'Oopsie.'

  
Kageyama glanced at the guy before him. A small dude with a huge smile who didn’t even wear the appropriate outfit: a pair of black leggings and a white top but a pair of shorts and tights. Orange slippers instead of the black ones the teacher had asked them to wear.

  
‘Hinata, you’ve hurt him.'

  
Sugawara stood before them. The guys were already annoying. Hinata and Kageyama never missed a chance to pick a fight. The substitute dance teacher glared at them with his signature furious smirk.  
  
'I-I'm sorry Kakadama,' Hinata sneered, his eyes rested on some random spot in the room, avoiding Kageyama's mad expression.

  
'Fuck you dumbass. You’ve hurt me what is wrong with you?'

  
Hinata rolled his eyes and groaned; damn that Kags was so boring, 'I fucking said sorry. Whatcha want more? Your ugly shrimp in my mouth?'

  
Kageyama stood up, took him by his collar and yelled insanities at him.  
  
'Ha! These brainless are arguing again. I can't believe you're still not married.'  
  
Hell no, Tsukishima, this petty asshole was here, again. Not only he was irritating but he also had this ugly habit of messing with other people businesses. Why was he talking about Kageyama and Hinata when he had enough with his own boyfriend? His comment earned him a scowl by the two boys.

_Why was he talking?_

  
Couldn’t he choke himself already instead of making critics?  
  
Before Kageyama decided to bark or punch Tsukkishima, Sugawara clapped his hands.  
  
' Everyone come here! Let's get started!'  
  
The students rushed towards him standing in neat rows.

  
In the first one, Kageyama placed his arms before him.

  
Hinata, in the back of the room, eyed him. They were like day and night, Kageyama was so natural with dance. He didn’t have to talk about it for Hinata to notice, his body loved ballet, and it showed it with an inborn grace. Shifting from a regular pose to la quatrième, one leg extended to fourth position in front, his arms stretched to his sides, angled down and forward. Hinata hid a smile as he noticed how a prodigy he was when it came to dance. Sometimes he would close his eyes and just follow the music to dance.  
His head looked up, blue eyes, full of pride after years of practice, met Hinata's bashful eyes when they both looked at their reflection. They turned their head, blushing mad then glanced at their teacher.

  
'Guys let's start with the following steps: _développé_ _devant_ , à la _seconde_ then _derrière_. After that, I want you to _relevé devant_ and _pirouette en dehors_. '  
  
In no time, the boys performed the instructions. Tsukishima smirked at the mirror when he noticed Hinata's clumsy steps. They lifted their leg and then fully extended it outward, passing through attitude. They began extended leg forward then to the side and finally behind. Their movements were rhythmed by the piano played by Akaashi, his torso tilted forward and behind as his hands stroked the piano.

  
When Hinata miserably failed his pirouette, he fall face first. Yamaguchi helped him getting up.

  
Meanwhile, Kageyama groaned at the sight. He couldn’t understand how the hell this prestigious university accepted him after his audition when he was not even able to make at least a simple pirouette.

  
‘How can you be that dumb Hinata? Where have you fucking learnt how to dance? Why are you such a disappointment?’ he spat voice low, arms crossed over his chest.

  
A pout appeared on Hinata’s face as he blushed of embarrassment. What did Kageyama knew about him to have the right to humiliate him? But Hinata wouldn’t give Kageyama the pleasure to show how he managed to hit him right in the feels. Instead, he decided to ignore him, standing in the back of the room so no one would notice how clumsy and lame he was.

  
They went back to practice when Sugawara stood before them with a paper in his hand.  
  
‘Coach Ukai told me he had finished distributing the roles for each one of you for the gala. You all have to practice as much as you can for the gala in the end of the next semester if you want to pass this year. Coach also told me that when he’s back, he’ll train you but it would mostly be something done by yourself. I also think he’ll send you an e-mail by tonight with a brochure with everything you have to know for your choreography. You should start practicing as soon as you receive the brochure. I heard your class had a quite difficult ballet opera this year. Unfortunately I can’t help you ‘cause I also have to work mine,’ he sighed, being a substitute teacher even for just a month, ‘Now come here so I can tell you what your role is.’  
  
The students nodded. Sugawara had only one semester to go before being graduated. Their real teacher, Ukai, was sick but almost recovered. In no time he would be back, ready to yell at everyone again. Classes with Sugawara were soft and funny like honey on crepes until he gets mad. Then he would scream and scare everyone. Thankfully, it barely happened.

  
The dancers gathered around him ready to hear their role. What if they were only substitute or they had minor role? This opera represented a lot on their path for year after.

  
‘Tsukki-‘

  
‘Don’t call me like that, we’re not friends.’

  
‘Okie, you have to play Armand’s dad.’

  
Tsukishima nodded, ‘ Yeah, no prob.’

  
It was not the lead but it was enough for him, he didn’t need to be seen by everyone all he wanted was something enough to assure him a good play. Unlike the others, ballet was only a minor study, his main being engineering to follow his family’s path. A dancer? His brother would be so ashamed to have little brother ballerino. It was though the first time he would be a soloist, the first time he had to be a little more concerned about it.

  
‘Now, for the pas de deux,’ Sugawara turned toward Kageyama who was waiting, ‘Kageyama you’ll be Armand Duval’

  
The latter smirked, of course he was in the lead.

  
‘And you,’ he smiled at Hinata who smiled back, ‘ You play Marguerite Gautier.’

  
They shook their head with a proud smile.

  
They had the best roles.

  
They were the lead.

  
The duet. _Wait_ -

  
‘Wait! What?’ they yelled synchronized, eyes narrow, flushing.

 

There was no way they would dance like a couple. First of all, Hinata could barely stand on his feet so how the hell did he manage to get the lead. It had to be some weird joke.

  
Tsukishima busted out laughing. Their face was priceless, his arms around his stomach, he couldn’t even breathe. To add insult to the injury, he started crying of laughing. Kageyama was agape, his jaw almost reached the ground. It was impossible, it couldn’t happen. Hinata didn’t say anything but just stared at the ground with a pout. Kageyama hated him, he despised him.

  
‘Stop laughing Tsukishima! Sorry guys, it wasn’t my choice, the coach chose probably for good reasons. He has only sent me the list and told me to distribute the role.’

'But Suga,’ Hinata whined lasting on the ‘a’, ‘Kags hates me!’

  
Sugawara shrugged before he glanced at Hinata’s pout. He knew it would be hard for him to dance the duet with Kageyama who known as one of the best ballerino in America but mostly because he was an egoist.  
  
Used to be only a soloist dancer, Kageyama didn’t even think of dancing a duet especially with Hinata. Unfortunately, it was not about his pride. Deep inside, Kageyama was scared, alone he had no responsibility however now it was not only about him. He held the responsibility of his partner, he couldn't afford to hurt someone once again.  
  
‘I- I cannot do it!’

 

  
The whole room went silent at his desperate scream. Tsukishima turned his face and eyed him, he took off his glasses making sure his eyes were locked on Kageyama’s.

  
  
‘Are you scared to fuck up like two years ago?’

 

  
‘How the fuck do you know that?’ Kageyama muttered more shocked than angry.

 

  
‘ Well, I was there. You don't need to know why. I saw what happened. I’m sure you freak out because of that, don’t you?’

 

There was a moment of silence. Kageyama thought about something to say. His mouth opened and closed, his heart heavy in his chest, he realized he had no word. Just pictures of the accident reemerging from a place in his head he didn't want to hear from.

  
‘I-,’ he breathed deeply clenching on the bar near him, ‘Please. I don't want to talk about… about the past.’

  
‘All I wanted to say about it was just that with trust and some good chemistry with your partner, something like that won't ever happen again.’

  
A simple shrug was all Kageyama could do to answer him. What if he hurt Hinata?  
  
Sugawara clapped his hands signaling them it was the end of the class. After some stretching, everyone left the room.  
Kuroo, the one who played the cello in the orchestra, came to pick Tsukishima up. It has been almost two years since they were together and it was the only time everyone could see how happy they were in their relationship. It was like a ritual, Kuroo would come waiting outside the studio, Tsukishima would come, laced his fingers with him. Kuroo would kiss his finger so Tsukishima would blush and kiss him on his lips. Then, obviously, Kuroo would make some stupid jokes, rolling his arms around his boyfriend’s body and he would be so proud of him. They were both so possessive it made all their friends envious of their relationship.  
  
Kageyama tried processing everything on his walk back home. A duet. Memories of an awful accident. It belonged to the past. Tsukishima talked about trust, about chemistry but Kageyama has always been by himself. He only had ballet in his life, he couldn't imagine how love could be. How was it to love and to be loved? He shook the thoughts away as turned the knob of his door.  
  
His room was small but enough to put a bed, a bar for his training and a wardrobe. There was barely any light coming into the room. He tripped on one notebook realizing he should really clean it.  
  
His computer on his lap, Kageyama frowned at it before he typed.

  
  
_La Dame aux Camélias ballet duet_

  
  
A few minutes after, he was staring at the screen. His heart beat hard in his chest. This video made him feel all weird neither in a bad way nor in a good. He simply didn't know how he felt.

 

  
Before the video was over, his phone vibrated. Kageyama rushed to open the mail with the brochure.

  
It was particularly long. Many drawings came with the different instructions. A note was written on the first page.

  
_I know you probably hate me right now because of the pairing I have chosen for the Pas de Deux. But it's the best thing, for you and Hinata, if you manage to overcome that kind of difficulties, many ballet companies will scout you at the gala. Good luck guys. I will see you soon._  
  
Kageyama glared at the note. What does Ukai mean by I had no choice? He had the choice he could have chosen them to be soloist, just soloist. The boring sound of the printer echoed in the room.  
  
Kageyama swore insanities under his breath before he opened his fridge. A bowl with tuna and rice rested in it, some leftovers from the day before. He sat on his futon, the brochure in a hand and his bowl in the other. The solos harder than what he had thought. A smirk made his way to his lips. That was what he liked the most in his art the way difficulties forced him to focus.  
The bowl in the sink, Kageyama didn’t feel like studying. He wanted to practice some of the steps Ukai put in his solos. He considered leaving his place and practice at the studio. For him it was just another way to forget about everything, focus on his dance was just another way for him to clear his mind. When some needed a drink or drugs so feel better, Kageyama only let go this way.  
Ten minutes later, he reached the dance studio. His arms rolled around his stomach, he sulked at the awful wind slamming against his nose. The door knob was frozen making it even harder to get in. Yet when Kageyama went in, a warm feeling embraced him as he walked up the stairs.  
The studios were supposed to be closed and empty. ‘Who would train that late?’ he thought when he heard piano and the clatter of something he couldn’t remember.  
Kageyama tiptoed to the studio Suno which was exclusively reserved for the first years.  
Maybe it was the girl class.  
_Maybe it was just his mind messing with him._  
  
The more he got closer to the studio, the louder the noises were. A curious feeling built in his chest.  
If anyone had told him what he was about to see, he would laugh or wouldn’t believe it but when he reached the studio his reaction was not a laugh as usual.  
From his first day in ballet class when he was four, already called the prodigy by his teachers to his years in the dance academy abroad, Kageyama had always worked by himself following only his aura. For the first time since his breakdown, he saw something that made his core, his heart in a direction he was not used to.  
Hinata, the dork who could barely stay still and focus,  
The idiot that probably had no reason to be in this place was the room, making it his.  
Kageyama could not say what shocked him the most but seeing Hinata, eyes closed, moving across the room triggered something in him.  
Hinata earlier wore the same skinny shorts but unlike earlier he wasn't wearing those hideous orange slippers, he had traded them for pointe shoes. Pink, the silk ribbon wrapped around his pale legs.

 _And damn he was beautiful._  
  
His movements were soft as he circled across the room. For once he wasn't yelling around or giggling like a dork. Kageyama could not understand how this idiot messed up so bad in class when he was a genius just as Kageyama. How was it possible to be such a talented dancer and throw this wonderful skills away?  
Now, he understood how he had been accepted among the best. Guilt was not the kind of feelings Kageyama would express if he could express any. He understood everything from his enrollment here to Ukai’s choice. Even though the way they acted in public was definitely different, their deep love for ballet linked them somehow. Hinata didn’t deserve to be treated like trash so seeing him moving his small body with so much passion tickled some soft spot Kageyama didn’t even know deep inside. It was as though a small kitten to protect, to cherish until it blossoms into an imperfect but real masterpiece.  
Oddly, Kageyama wanted to be here, to witness the beauty of someone hiding a giant talent because of anxiety or self confidence issues.  
The pianist was probably one friend of him. A guy with bleached hair with a stoic expression played the piano. Once again Kageyama couldn't believe the guy was just playing the piano. How was it possible to just ignore such a beautiful boy so fragile but powerful enough to knock you down?

His cheek reddened as his heart quickened his pace, Kageyama felt strange in a way he had never before.

Maybe he would accept the idea of a duet?  
Maybe he would enjoy practicing with Hinata for two semesters?

_All Kageyama knew was that sight had definitely changed his opinion on Hinata as he caught himself staring all blushing and beaming._


	2. Two

 

 _Cause I'm feelin' lonely_  
  
Tell me where we're going

_  
Cause I'm feelin' lonely_

 

 

It was a normal day for the first years of the ballet course.

 

Ukai was back at yelling at his students. Hinata was as clumsy as ever.

 

Kageyama was, well… he was himself. As always, he was in the first row of the center.

 

Hinata stood in the back as always, he glanced at Kageyama. This rude genius was so good at ballet, staying here with an expressionless face. If Hinata was that good in dance, he would smile all the time. He would feel so proud to be able to do something right but he didn’t. The day before Kageyama had felt the urge to remind him that as if Hinata didn’t know it. As if Hinata didn’t know he sucked at ballet.

 

When Kageyama raised his head, his eyes met with Hinata. No one saw their abashed expression in the room. Kageyama had not recovered yet from what he had seen the night before. By picturing the way Hinata's pointe shoes clicked on the floor, Kageyama recalled his grace.

Yet he had difficulties to understand how it was possible to have someone dancing like an amateur when he had the abilities to do so much better?

 

Kageyama had spent years dancing among the best dancers of the country even then Hinata was one of the best he had ever seen. Why was he so unconfident? Maybe because of people like Kageyama who also acted like trash towards him?

 

‘Kageyama… Can you,’ Ukai took a deep breath, ‘please… fucking listen!’

 

Kageyama startled, losing his balance. He wasn’t even listening; instead he daydreamed in the middle of his class. What was wrong with him?

 

‘I’m- I’m sorry I was thinking about something else.’

 

Tsukishima didn’t resist the opportunity to comment it. Kageyama sighed when he heard a snort then Tsukishima started scoffing. He had been silent for a while. Of course, he saw the look on their face so understood that it was related to Kageyama and Hinata. This smart head knew everything, Kageyama rolled his eyes.

 

‘Get yourself together, Petite Ballerina.’

 

Tsukishima apparently believed this nickname suited Kageyama well as he cackled like a crazy _. Petite Ballerina_. Kageyama clenched his fist. Sometimes this blond ass tickled something in Kageyama that made him crazy.

 

‘I swear if you keep laughing for crap,’ Kageyama ran a hand through his dark and thin hair, showing his forehead for a second, ‘I will beat the shit out of you.’

 

Tsukishima smirked. Kageyama and his temper were always something funny to see. Tsukishima noticed how fast he could get angry.

 

‘What if I don’t?’ he took a step forward, tilting his head to the side, ‘What would you do, _Petite Ballerina?’_

 

Ukai stood between them before Kageyama decide to punch Tsukishima, ‘You two! Stop! If you don’t, then I will ground you. Forbid you to come here for a month at least.’

 

The guys swallowed as they quickly nodded. In less than a minute after they were back at the center ready to train again.

 

‘Now guys, let’s work on the adage. Then we will work on your choreography for the gala.’

Kageyama turned his face. Hinata was already looking at him. When they realized it, they both looked away. _The duet._

 

Just the thought of it made them flustered. The idea to dance with Hinata was enough to disturb Kageyama. This choreography was not only romantic but also physical. Their body would be stuck, chest against chest, one heart beating for the two of them. It was such a weird feeling in Kageyama’s opinion and he still could not process it.

 

Kageyama frowned when he saw Makoto helping Hinata with the position of his feet. Why was that guy helping him? Hinata was a way better dancer than him, he didn’t need anyone.

 

When Hinata thanked Makoto, he wore a brilliant smile and nodded at him. This dork smiled for no reason. Kageyama wanted to punch him so bad, he was so idiot, so happy all the time that it made Kageyama angry, stupid isn’t it?

 

Tsukishima stood next to him, his eyes shifting from the scene before them to Kageyama.

 

Why was making that face? Why was he looking angry when nothing was happening? Just Makoto and Hinata chatting.

 

‘Is there anything interesting over there or…?’ he whispered as Kageyama startled eyes wide open.

 

‘Fu-Fuck! You scared me!’ Kageyama yelled.

 

Great, he has been caught staring at the other idiots instead of focusing on the class. Sure, he could lie and tell Tsukishima some craps, but he wouldn’t buy it. They have known each other for now three months which means Tsukishima was getting to understand him deeper than it seems. Even if they had spent most of their time bickering, it was enough for them to be ‘friends’. Lying to Tsukishima was useless. He would pester Kageyama until he gives him a proper answer.

 

‘Nothing. It doesn’t matter,’ he sighed as he bended toward the bar in front of him giving Tsukishima his back.

 

_Obviously_. Tsukishima glared at the body before him. Kageyama dodged the talk by stretching. _Really?_ So that meant, he honestly believed his ‘friend’ would ignore him.

 

 

‘What happened between you two?’

 

Tsukishima followed him. He let his leg sliding against the bar and put his head against his knee. Already used to the sore feeling spreading across his body, he took a deep breath and blew air through his nose. He glanced at the dark hair next to him as he tried to understand him. Kageyama hated opening up, hated talking about anything other than ballet because he had so much he wanted to hide. The only memory Tsukishima had of him expressing feeling was when the accident at the gala happened two years ago. He knew he could never erase that picture of his mind, the face of Kageyama crying left a deep mark in his mind.

 

When Kageyama turned his face and noticed the look in Tsukishima’s face, he sighed.

 

Couldn’t he just drop it?

 

‘What do you mean by what happened between us? Nothing happened; I was just looking across the room and saw them doing their stuff.’

 

Tsukishima smirked as he took his glasses off to whip away the fog. That damn liar. Something happened between Hinata and Kageyama. Neither needed to talk to notice it how it was sticking in the air like oxygen. It was probably not that important, another argument about how stupid Hinata was or something like that.

 

‘The warm up is over. Now, I want to look at your dance routine and tell you what’s already good or what you have to modify. Since I will let you to practice your routine mostly by yourself, I need to at least check how it is going for you.’

 

 

Everyone gathered around the coach.

 

 

Akaashi sat back in front of his piano, the piano sheets in his hands. A sigh left his mouth as he glanced at the studio. The students were chatting so loud, he had to put his earplugs to focus on his piano practice. Ready, he gave Ukai a look and a nod.

 

Ukai called Yamaguchi first. His routine was not that difficult, he knew it, but he came in front of his classmates panting. Yamaguchi rubbed his sweaty hands against his dark top. He could mess up really bad before them, he could humiliate himself. His stomach hurts as he walked to Ukai.

 

Thankfully, he could remember the words his girlfriend always said to cheer him up. None were extraordinary, but they were just enough for him to feel good about himself when his anxiety would mess with him.

With a deep breath, he started dancing with his eyes closed.

 

Tsukishima scratched the back of his neck as he waited for his turn to dance. They were as always wasting time. All he wanted was to rest after a long day of classes. Not only the dance classes were exhausting but also the engineer ones he followed. It would be so much better if he was at his place already instead of practicing this late. Kuroo would rub his back while talking about his day, his classes draining him. They would often end up making out instead. In their beds Kuroo would listen to Tsukishima learning his lessons and it was enough for them. They felt alright together, it was enough.

 

Yet, Tsukishima was here waiting, his back against the wall, ready to hear some petty comments. Sometimes he wondered why he kept bothering himself with the ballet class.

 

Unlike them, he had other projects for his future. He dreamed bigger not only for him but also for his parents who had big expectations for their sons.

 

Hinata sat next to Kageyama, waiting for his turn. This solo was already harder than what he was used to, since he wasn’t used to galas. His teachers have always said it was better for him to be in the easier roles so no one would notice his awful dance habits. It was the time a teacher trusted him enough to offer him the lead that was the reason he would not disappoint Ukai.

 

The Pas de Deux yet was a way more difficult challenge than what he thought. Dancing with Kageyama was not only tough because of the behavior Kageyama had towards him, but also because of the topic tackled. Love, a deep relationship between Marguerite Gautier and Armand Duvier was about to be played by two enemies. Once again, Hinata didn’t understand the choice Ukai made for them.

 

When Hinata turned his face, Kageyama was already looking him, his mouth opened as if he was about to tell him something but Hinata cut him off.

 

 

‘’I saw you yesterday,’ he muttered a hand into his ginger fluff, glancing at his orange slippers with a pout.

 

 

Hinata awaited him to have mocked him when he had seen him. With the words he had told him at practice the day before, it was likely that he had laughed at him.

 

 _Okay_ , Kageyama bit his cheek. Hinata had noticed him. He had nothing to say, he couldn’t tell him he was a great dancer after all.

 

‘Yeah.’

 

‘Can you please keep that for you and not tell anyone about it? I-I mean please… I know you hate me cause I’m a shitty dancer in your opinion.’

 

He took a shaky breath as he rested his chin on his knees.

 

Kageyama swore under his breath, if Hinata cried, he would feel bad. Hinata doesn’t know his worth and Kageyama made it even worse. His stomach churned, right now, he hated himself for being such an asshole towards him. They shared the same deep love for dance yet Kageyama acted like he was alone in this and no one could stand by his side.

Kageyama then tried to think of something he could tell Hinata to console him but he wasn’t good with words at all.

 

 

‘I ju-just love ballet so fucking much. I know I’m not as awesome as you look when you dance. You are a genius, the coolest and bestest of the best dancers I’ve ever seen. Damn you deserve someone who can dance just as good as you do for the Pas de Deux which I’m not a-and I feel so frustrated a-about-’

 

 

‘Pl-Please.’

 

Kageyama’s voice cracked and he felt as if he was about to shake Hinata until he gets what he meant. ‘Do-Don’t fucking say something that crazy again, dumbass.’

 

Hinata’s eyes started brimming. Was he about to cry because Kageyama wouldn’t know how to handle it?

 

‘You’re not that bad, Hinata.’

 

Hinata turned his face at him, his eyebrows raised. He didn’t understand Kageyama. From ‘You’re such a disappointment’ to ‘You’re not that bad’, Kageyama was an awful rollercoaster of emotions.

 

‘What? Yesterday you were saying quite the opposite. You’ve told me that I hadn’t even learnt how to dance and now you’re saying ‘you’re not that bad.’ What’s wrong with you?’

 

‘Damn Hinata,’ he sighed, frustrated. A sad look shifted from Hinata’s pout to his orange slippers. ‘I made a mistake by telling you those words… but yeah, I’m quite sure you be so much better even with your empty head.’

Hinata put his head between his knees after Kageyama had finished talking. It was difficult to understand him; he complimented him and insulting him at the same time? Yet Hinata tried to mask his blush as he pushed away his secrets thoughts _. Time_. That’s what he needed to process everything going on.

 

‘Hinata, Kageyama!’ Ukai called them out, ‘your turn, show us your routine.’

_The routine?_ It was way too soon for them. They couldn't refuse though.

 

Standing up, everyone except them of course noticed the red shade of their cheeks.

Tsukishima sat on the floor to stretch after his turn. Even if he was used to dance, this routine was really difficult for someone that tall and unmotivated. A smirk on his face, he glanced at the duet. He knew this duet was made for Hinata and Kageyama.

 

Both had a huge potential they didn’t exploit. Kageyama didn’t know how to manage relationships with people, from his classmates to his parents. Tsukishima had noticed they weren’t even there for Kageyama’s ballet two years ago. It has been a hard time for him through which he remained by himself, without any support. No wonder he’s depressed, Tsukishima thought.

 

Kageyama stood in the opposite corner of the room giving his back to Hinata. Akaashi started playing the piano and the whole room went silent. Everyone was observing them.

They slowly started back walking until their back bumped. Their hands caught each other, eyes closed they tried to forget their roles, an awkward expression mirrored on their face.

When they started turning across the room, Hinata finally opened his eyes and met the dark blue before him. Although the entire class gawked at them, he remembered he had to focus so Kageyama wouldn’t yell at him. For once he didn’t seem mad or bored. If Hinata wasn’t stressed, he would smile at him. It felt so good to see Kageyama under another point of view; he wasn’t criticizing him or yelling. All his face shown was a mix of bashfulness and something Hinata couldn’t name.

 

Both were oddly quiet as they body moved slowly but synchronized. Kageyama felt his heat slamming against his ribcage; he couldn’t believe Hinata was focused, precise and dancing just like the night before, but this time, Hinata danced for him, with him.

Fuck, Hinata was a work of art. His small body moved gracefully against Kageyama.

The routine was not that difficult, they knew it from the beginning. It was draining but not complicate. The difficulty was to manage to express the topic of that Pas de Deux. It was about how crazy, madly, in love Marguerite and Armand were. Curiously, something made them feel great as long as they were dancing together.

 

 _It felt so good_.

 

Kageyama lifted Hinata in the air and they had the same smile drawn on their face. A shudder left Hinata’s lips when the Kageyama let his strong arms sliding up and down his thighs.

 

There was a thing in Hinata that overwhelmed Kageyama. Not only his finesse, but something else warmed him as his palms stroked Hinata’s pale thighs. He wanted to kiss them, to leave sloppy kiss on it, even when he couldn’t understand what the hell was going on in his head right now.

 

Then his eyes closed when he felt Hinata’s hands brushing his cheeks. His fingers carved through the ginger fluff as he slightly parted his lips. The steps came naturally even when they made mistakes it was still okay because they were dancing together. Hands laced, eyes staring at each other, nothing else mattered anymore. The stupid arguments, the obnoxious orange slippers, Kageyama’s rudeness, it was all forgotten.

They almost reached the end of the routine, both were panting as they fell on the floor. After a sequence of soft steps on the floor, the Pas de Deux was supposed to end with a kiss.

 

In 18 years of existence, neither of the two had ever kissed anyone. Hinata had never had a boyfriend since his only one love was ballet.

 

For Kageyama, it was another story he never put a label on himself saying he had to love a girl or a boy or neither. Love was such a weird concept for him, something he didn’t know but scaring him. When you love someone, you know you can lose them in a second. When you have no one to love, everything is easier because you have no worries.

 

Love comes with too many worries. What if you hurt your significant other? Or lose them? What are you going to do when you miss them?

 

Yet Kageyama pushed the thought away as he took Hinata’s face between his hands. They couldn’t take their eyes away. It was impossible; they were just together in another galaxy. Hinata fluttered when he saw how close Kageyama was to him. They were both nervous as their face came even closer. Kageyama smiled when he felt Hinata forehead against his.

He didn’t want to move. He wanted to embrace that light forever.

Hinata felt the urge to grab Kageyama by his head to quicken the process. He wanted to feel him right now instead of just feeling his presence with nothing else. Why was he that long?

The piano stopped playing. The room filled with cheers from everyone.

Kageyama was still squeezing Hinata against him. Therefore when they realized they were still in the studio with almost twenty people around them, with their teacher, Kageyama let Hinata go pouting.

 

 

They were a blushing mess. _Okay, now it was more just awkward._ Hinata rubbed his cramped legs as Kageyama tried to avoid the sight of it.

 

He bended to pick up his hoodie and tried to think of something to say. He wanted to show Hinata they did well but nothing was good enough in his opinion.

 

‘Go-good job Hinata.’

 

 

Hinata turned his head at him and gave him the biggest smile ever.

‘Thank you, Kageyama.’

 

Tsukishima grinned from afar as he clapped his hands at the guys. He knew deep inside that this duet was made for them. The confused yet blissful beams on their face proved that they were also happy about it. When Kageyama walked toward him, Tsukishima, smirking, patted his back.

 

‘See it wasn’t that hard, _Petite Bellerina?_ ‘

  
Kageyama glared at him with his red face.

 

‘There, there,’ Tsukishima shrugged before he lowered his voice, ‘I knew you'd nail it. Remember what I’ve told you about trust and chemistry.’

 

Kageyama scoffed. What was wrong with Tsukishima? As if you could trust someone that easily.

 

‘Dude, it's not because I had one dance with him that I like him or trust him.’

 

‘I didn't say that though,’ Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me you didn’t like it.’

 

Kageyama grunted as his arms crossed. ‘I hate you too!’

 

Tsukishima sneakered, a hand before his mouth. He glanced at his friend who was blushing mad. Sometime, he couldn’t believe how oblivious Kageyama was.  
Kageyama should know by now that his actions, the ways his body reacted weren’t something he could control. These were what empowered his humanity, without them, he would be just a heartless ballet dancer.

 

‘Anyway, what do you do tomorrow?’ Tsukishima rolled his eyes as he talked.

 

Kageyama shrugged. It was a day off for them so he would enjoy it just the way he was used to. ‘Well-’

 

Tsukishima took a towel as he headed to the door. His classmate followed him with a frown when Tsukishima cut him out. ‘I know. You’re probably watch ballet videos for hours until you realize it’s getting late so you will leave your room to practice in the studio. Then you’ll be kicked out of it because you shouldn’t stay there that late.’

 

Kageyama blushed, swearing under his breath.

 

‘Anyway. Kuro wanted to go at this funfair with his friends from the orchestra but they don’t really appreciate me. Not that I care. Of course. There’s this guy with an awful tie and dye and- Oh god,’ he scratched the back of his neck, his eyebrows furrowed. ‘I definitely don’t like him. Kuro has this nasty smirk when he’s here. So… yeah, I wanted to know if you’d come.’

 

‘A funfair?’

 

Hinata appeared behind them, grinning and flushing. Both glared at him. Has no one ever told him it was rude to introduce a conversation like this? A few seconds later, Tsukishima sneered, it could be interesting though.

 

‘Yeah, a funfair, tomorrow, I’ve just told your _partner_ about it. Would you like to come?’

 

It was now Kageyama’s turn to scowl. Tsukishima was back at being an ass, he sighed.

 

‘Yes! I love funfairs, it’s going to be super cool!’

 

‘Of course, it will.’

 

* * *

 

 

In the dark room, Keith glanced at the fresco on the walls. He didn't know Lance was also an artist that could paint really good art works.

It was their eighth night together.

The entire week had been quite long. It has been a bit boring for Keith but for Lance, it has been draining. They had barely spent together. Keith was anxious. When Lance would come home, he would be in his bed or sit under the blanket by the window wall.

Since Lance didn't have any class the day after, he took the opportunity to talk a bit more to Keith.

 

‘You still haven't told me why you're basically-’ he searched for a good word, ‘Homeless?’

 

Keith turned his back even if he knew Lance wasn't able to see him. His eyes shifted from the drawing of the galaxy above a house. _Homeless_. Lance treated him as if he was just an annoying hobo, which he wasn't. Keith had tried to help Lance and Hunk with the house duties.

 

He frowned as he kept looking at the wall silently. Maybe he bothered Lance and this was a way to tell Keith they should split soon. Sure, he could leave but where would he go?

It was not only that. Keith didn't really want to leave, he was getting used to it. Every morning, he would hear Lance singing in the shower, always something new but awful. Hunk was always the first up and was cooking them a huge breakfast. When they would leave Keith here, he stared at the dance studio especially at the boys’ class which was the most interesting thing here for now. When Lance would have finished his classes, he would join him and sit by the window wall.

 

Keith would sit on futon when Lance would video chat with his parents; Lance’s mother had already questioned him about the nature of their relationship. They would look at each and scoff, acquaintances or maybe friends, but it was nothing more, nothing less.

 

‘Homeless,’ Keith spat, his head buried in his pillow.

 

‘No! No that's not what I meant! I just wanted to know why you're alone…’

 

Keith breathed deeply, his eyes never left the house painted on the wall. It was a home. The place where Lance was welcomed by his amazing family. A place Keith had never known. Something he deeply craved but couldn't reach.

 

‘Why does it matter so much to you?’ he scoffed, ‘If I bother you that much, I can leave right now since you need to know everything-’

 

‘Because unlike what you think, I fucking care!’

 

Keith felt like he had just received a punch on his face. His eyes wide open; he turned his face to look directly the dark figure of Lance. Why would he care? He didn't even know Keith properly. You can’t just care about someone you don't know.

 

Despite they didn't really know each other; Lance had helped him when no one was there. He bought Keith food, a train ticket and offered him a shelter. What does caring even mean? Was it when someone gives you enough to stay alive or was it more than that? He didn’t understand what it meant and felt frustrated.

 

The room was back at its awkward silence. Keith swallowed as he felt his lip shivering. It was just a matter of day before he would have to leave; just the thought burnt his chest. He didn’t want to leave this apartment. To give up Lance and his ridiculous songs on the morning. Hunk and his endless kindness. He would also miss the view of the dance studio and the hours he and Lance spent staring at it. The frescoes only visible in the dark would also become just a memory.

 

‘I… I’ve been kicked out of my foster family. My parents died when I was one year old, a fucking terrorist attack towards the government officials in Korea. M-My mother was American but my father was Korean, they both died in the airport. I survived when everyone around died in this awful massacre. I was supposed to be taken care by the American and Korean government though they did shit. They put me in an orphanage, I had several foster parents but no one wanted to keep… the fucking weirdo. Like a defective product, I was always sent back to this fucking orphanage. A twink like me was a burden. Some gay weirdo that didn't even know who he really was. I don't need people to tell me what I already know: I’m fucked up. This last family knew I couldn't go back to the orphanage cause I'm an adult now so they kicked me out after they had tried pretty much everything to fix my fucking mind. I can’t change. I can’t change my ugly mind just so I can be accepted cause even if I tried to adapt I won't be able to. I’m so sorry… I know you wanted to help me but now you're stuck with the weirdo I am… a-and I’m sure you didn't sign for this. All you wanted was t-to take your train not carrying a fucked up dude like me. Now I’m fucking rambling, thank you Lance! Are you satisfied now that I’ve told you everything about me? Happy yet? ’

‘I didn't want to pressure you Keith! ‘Lance’s voice echoed in the middle of the night.

 

He couldn't let him say all these words. Keith was gay, orphan and depressed and? Lance had helped him even when he didn't know that. How was it a problem for them, for their relationship? If Keith needed support, lance would give him some. If Keith needed a shelter, Lance would welcome him everywhere.

 

‘I just care about you, Keith. I don’t want you to feel unwanted. As I have already told you, _mi casa es tu casa_ ,’ he let out a forced chuckle, ‘You deserve to be happy, okay? Maybe you don't know it, but all you have to know is that in this place you can be happy, have food and someone to talk. That's just what I can gift you.’

 

 

Keith stared forward silently, his heart heavy and his eyes brimming. Lance would give up on him anyway, he knew it. They weren’t in a cheesy soap opera. Life wasn’t as perfect as the novels Keith would read. It was just a bunch of craps, _lies_. Yet, he wanted to believe in them.

 

 

‘O-Okay...’

 

 

Keith didn't want to talk about him anymore. Lance made him feel strange. Everything seemed so strange though. The room with glowing paints when Keith had never seen Lance painting or even drawing anything. How he went from being a hobo to have a shelter. The way someone with whom he wasn’t acquainted was also strange. Why would someone help him when nobody did before? Keith closed his eyes, changing position his bed. It was already pretty late but he didn't feel like sleeping. All Keith wanted was to think about something else; he could play some video games but was also too lazy for it. Right when he thought Lance had fallen asleep, the latter spoke.

 

‘I was thinking about my twin sister. I don't remember if I told you about her.’

 

Why was he talking about his sister right now? Keith pursed his lips as he thought about Lance talking about his family. What if he met them? Would they be nice towards him? Would they accept him even if he was a weirdo? Lance could support him but what if his parents hated him. Pushing the thought away, he remained silent for a minute.

 

‘Elizabeth.’ Keith whispered blankly, his eyes looking at the ceiling.

 

‘Yeah,’ Lance pouted when he realized that was something he had told Keith. ‘When I saw her last week, she was way thinner than what she used to be. I mean she has never been chubby, but now her body looked quite...skinny’

 

‘Maybe she follows a diet or something,’ Keith pointed out. Why was he worrying about his sister in all of a sudden? Even though he was close to his family, Lance always said only positive things about them.

 

Lance nodded although they were in the dark. She always took care of her health so he didn’t have to worry. He knew her; she couldn’t have put herself in a difficult situation. Elizabeth had always spent time focused on her studies. Sometimes, she would even forget to read as she should spent way too much time alone in her room. When Lance would come, he knew she would stay upstairs most of the time. A vinyl record would always play in the background as she was creating. All Lance wanted was to have her healthy since they had shared everything together from their mom’s tummy to their passion for art.

 

‘Maybe,’ Lance guessed, his eyebrow knit.

 

Sometimes he regretted living that far from his family. He could have stay near them instead of starting everything in the south of the country. It was a constant pain in his heart whenever his Mama would call him.

 

         With a shaky voice, she would explain what happened during that day. Most of the time, nothing happened in her bakery. Each time they were on the phone together, his Mama would promise him to make him taste her new pastries and Lance would nod a crooked smile on his face.

 

The day he got accepted here, Lance didn’t realize he was about to leave all his coziness starting with the pastries he was used to eat for breakfast, the smell of them in the oven overflowed in the house. Hence the same odor everyday started pissing him he wanted something new, to discover the world. In fact as time had passed, Lance got tired of the rituals in the McClain’s household. Each summer, they went to Cuba to visit the paternal family. Each Christmas, his grand-mother would come home, bringing ugly sweaters and critic the entire family before leaving.

 

It became too monotonous.

 

Lance needed change in his life.

 

Although this was true, now, regrets hit him. What if it was better for him to stay home?

Lance knew deep inside it was just his mind messing with him, but he had to question himself to make sure everything is always worthy.

 

‘Hey, Keith’ Lance whispered almost sure he wasn’t asleep, ‘What do you want to do tomorrow?’

 

There was a silence before Keith answered. They could stay in bed all day it would be enough meanwhile he knew Lance wanted to do something fun to cool down their minds after that nervous night.

 

‘A funfair...’ Keith mentioned as he crossed his arms over his chest and before Lance said something he resumed. ‘On the way from the train station, I saw it. It didn’t seem that bad. But yeah, it’s only if you want though.’

 

 

‘Dude, I love funfairs! I didn't even know there was one. Let’s go with Hunk! A-and I have that one friend Shiro who's in the orchestra he’ll come a-and! Oh god, It’s gonna be awesome!’

 

Keith inwardly cringed at the thought. Since he wasn’t used to be around a lot of people, it was going to be a little different. A smile on his lips, he hoped he would spend a good and peaceful day with his new friend.

 

‘Thank you, Lance.’

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

There were people who sleep on their back. Others sleep on their stomach even if it didn’t seem comfortable. Then, there was Keith.

 

His head was bowed close to his stomach with his arms wrapped around it. His thin legs covered by some large sweatpants were brought up tightly against his abdomen.

Keith was completely silent in his sleep unlike Hunk who snored as if he wanted everyone to know he wasn’t awake. What hit Lance right in the feels was the expression on Keith’s face.

 

His cheeks was still flushed and wet as his lips were shivering. Why was he crying? After their talk that night, Lance thought it was okay, but it wasn’t. His eyes lingered over the body dressed in oversized clothes and frowned. If Keith was miserable here, Lance had to find something to make him feel safe and welcomed.

 

When he left the room, Lance kept thinking of a way to support Keith. There had to be something making him happy though. It was true; Keith was supposed to be also a college student. Maybe he had stopped studying because he had been kicked out by his family, if that was true; Lance had to find a way to study again. Staying home alone everyday seemed pretty boring. For this reason, Lance would ask his friend in order to help him.

 

 

‘Hey bro!’

 

Lance blinked before he smiled at Hunk. ‘Hi! We’re going to a funfair today. Are you interested?’

 

‘Oh! Oh! I’ve heard of it. I’ll gladly come with you. I’m pretty sure Pidge would also want to come!’

 

Lance sat at the table with three glasses in his hands as his tongue licked his lips when he noticed the jar full of apple juice.

 

‘Is Keith still asleep?’ Hunk shoved a pancake full of syrup in his mouth and moaned. _Damn they were so tasty._

‘Yeah. He never leaves the room in pajama though so I’m sure he’ll get ready before us.’

 

Hunk grinned fondly at Lance as the latter was sipping his juice. ‘You like him, don’t you?’

 

Lance ran a hand through his hair and nodded. ‘Why would I dislike him?’

 

Hunk shrugged, pouring another glass of juice to Lance. ‘You’re right. He seems… I don’t know how to describe it. Last time, I saw him alone, in your room, in the dark. His head was pressed against the window wall and he was staring at the dance studio. He was shivering, like a mess I swear. He seemed numb, lost. I don’t know whether he was crying or just cold but it made me feel something. He doesn’t look like someone rude or something, just hurt like a puppy left alone.’

 

‘Yeah,’ Lance heard the sound of the shower starting and looked at the door. ‘I hope today will cheer him up!’

 

 

When Lance got back to his room, the bed was made as well as the futon put under the bed. The room was always neat even if both were a bit lazy. If it wasn’t Keith cleaning it, it would be Lance by himself.

 

Not that they were neat freaks.

 

Okay they definitely were neat freaks but it was okay as long as both cooperated.

 

The door opened. Keith stood at the step of it, his wet hair forming dark curls around his thin neck. He wore a large red hoodie which reached his knees and black skinny jeans. They remained silent for a few seconds just looking at each other. Were they embarrassed because of their talk that night or?

 

 

‘When are we leaving?’ Keith shoved his hands into his pocket, still looking at Lance who quirked a brow.

 

‘In half an hour probably.’

 

Keith put his earphones and sat on the bed to play some games on his phone. Lance peered at him before he left the room. Was he alright or was he grumpy or? He went into the shower humming some trashy anime opening’s theme.

 

 

 

One hour later, everyone finally reached the funfair. It was only a thirty minutes ride from their university. There, Keith thought he would meet one or two friends of Lance but eventually they were almost twenty. Among them, Keith recognized some boys from the ballet class he was used to spy on. One was bouncing on his feet while raving. Next to him stood the taller one, with a t-shirt with ‘Ballet trash’ written on it. Keith frowned, he was sure he had already seen him somewhere.

 

Then, he remembered.

 

‘Aren’t you the _Petite Ballerina?_ ‘

 

Tsukishima snorted so loud, his boyfriend had to pat his back to make sure he was okay.

 

'Babe! Tsukki you're okay?’

 

‘Yeah Kuro. I just-’ with that he was back at laughing.

 

Kageyama scowled. Everyone knew him just because of the _Petite Ballerina_ drama, not because he was a good dancer but because he's fucked up. His eyes shifted to the side when he heard Hinata’s voice.

 

‘It’s not because Kageyama messed up once that he should be recalled just because of it. You’re all keep calling like that when you could give him a way better nickname like… like _Prima Ballerina_! If you still don't know he's among the best ballet dancers in the country! Dammit, give him more credit!’

The whole squad went silent at Hinata’s words. Damn, Kageyama stood there, agape. Why did he say that?

 

Keith shrugged. What a pain! He didn't want to offend anyone especially the angry boyfriend in front of him.

 

‘I’m sorry I didn't mean to offend you. I just knew him because of the Ballerina thingy.’

Lance tilted his head. So that meant that he knew the world of ballet.

 

‘You’re a ballet dancer?’ he testified as everyone was back at talking.

 

 

‘Well, I can dance if I want but I stopped learning it to be professional. I had other plans. ’

 

‘How many years of ballet have you done?’

 

They started walking towards an attraction. Tsukishima held his boyfriend’s hand and glared at the other ‘blond’ in front of him. The latter didn't even flinch; he was obviously not interested in Kuroo and had no reason to be. A curly haired guy put his arm around the pudding haired pianist and they genuinely smiled at each other.

Keith wore a twisted smile at the all situation as the guys were fighting for boyfriend when there was no use to.

 

'15 years.’

 

Lance gasped. How can you make your feet suffer during such a long period? ‘Damn buddy. That’s something. Why don't you join the ballet course?’

 

Cause I like it only as a hobby, that's not what I like the most in my life.’

 

Lance nudged him slightly as he gave him his natural wide smile. ‘And what do you like the most in your life?’

 

Keith pursed his lips and quirked an eyebrow. Would he open up to Lance? Would it be useful? He shrugged; he would tell him when he's ready.

 

‘You’ll learn it eventually but not that soon. It wouldn't be interesting then.’

 

Lance opened his mouth for at least 30 seconds before he chuckled. _Touché_. It made the whole thing interesting now. If he wanted to know stuff about his friend, he knew now it would be longer but the wait worth the cost. Once again he shrugged; it didn’t matter if he cared about someone he didn't know. As long as they were sharing the same shelter, Lance didn't have to worry about being close to him. Wasn’t it the whole point of friendship?

 

‘Okay, mysterious boy.’

 

 

 

 

'Kageyama! Wanna come over here? I saw an attraction super-duper cool!’ Hinata said with a huge smile as he smiled at his ‘partner.’

 

Hinata tapped on Kageyama’s shoulder. It earned him. Wow, Kageyama had to learn how to chill. Why was he always so tense? Hinata placed his hands before him so Kageyama wouldn’t hit him.

 

A hand in his hair, Kageyama pursed his lips. ‘Eh, Hi-Hinata?’

 

Hinata grinned at him, his hands in his shorts’ pocket.

 

How was he even managing to wear shorts all the time? Anyway, that wasn’t important. Kageyama wouldn’t himself get bothered by shorts.

 

‘I wanted to know if you wanted to practice the routine. I mean- not now obviously cause we’re here and we can’t dance here… that makes sense though-‘

 

‘I would gladly practice with you, Tobio. Give me your phone so I’ll put my number in it.’

Kageyama gave him his phone and Hinata took a ridiculous selfie of him that he put as contact picture.

 

‘Yeah thanks’

 

Tsukishima eyed them from the stand where Kuroo and he were sharing a bucket of fries. He knew Kageyama wasn’t used to social interaction therefore it would be even harder around someone as Hinata. Yet, Tsukishima believed it would Kageyama to open up a bit more to humans and maybe improve his trust issues towards everyone even himself.

 

‘What are you looking at, Tsukki?’ Kuroo asked, resting his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. Tsukishima gave him a bashful smile as he dipped fry into a curry sauce cup.

 

‘Kageyama.’

 

Kuroo raised his head, pouting at Tsukishima. ‘Hah?’

 

Tsukishima blinked before he shook his head. ‘Hah? Hah! What?’

 

Kuroo quirked an eyebrow. What the hell was Tsukishima thinking? He couldn’t casually think about another boy when he had already his boyfriend.

 

‘Haah? You’re planning on cheating on me and you’re even telling me! That’s why I’m asking Hah!’

 

Tsukishima laughed as he leaned towards Kuroo. He cupped his chin and whispered. ‘Why would I cheat on you with the Petite Ballerina when I have you?’  
  
He kissed him, one hand on Kuroo’s cheek. ‘I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t my cornerstone. I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t the chair under my feet when I had a rope around my neck.’

 

Kuroo blushed at the words. ‘I just love you so much. Not that I don’t trust you, but I would be nothing without you.’

 

They smiled at each other as the tip of their nose touched. ‘Then, it’s alright cause I won’t leave you, okay?’

 

Kuroo smirked when he pinched Tsukishima’s bottom. ‘That’s only for me.’

 

His boyfriend giggled at Kuroo. ‘Apparently.’

 

 

 

Lance shook Keith’s hand and attempt to ‘hug’ him as they cheered loudly. They had just beaten Kageyama and Hinata once again at one of the funfair games.

 

‘You can’t beat the best and hottest guy in the entire galaxy. He even had to change phone number because of the number of girls harassing him.’ Lance wiggled his eyebrows as he clapped his own hands to cheer himself.

 

‘Whose guy are you talking about though?’ Kageyama glared at Lance.

 

Keith chuckled, Lance scowled and Hinata smirked.

 

‘There’re bumper cars over there! Kageyama I wanna go so so bad,’ Hinata whined tugging at Kageyama’s top.

 

There was a buzzing sound in Lance’s pocket; he didn’t want to pick up his phone now. What was the point of being on your phone when you already have enough people around you who make you feel joyful. The eager smile on Keith lips was enough for him right now. For once, he didn’t look as deadpan as he usually did. Lance did it, he managed to see a genuine happy expression on his friend’s face. Even if it wouldn’t last, all Lance could wish was happiness for him. His phone buzzed once again. He took it from his pocket and glared at the number, his younger sister, Leah had tried to call him once and now it was his mother. Lance frowned, he would call her later. Knowing it was only for explaining him what happened during her day, it wasn’t an issue if he called her just after this attraction.

 

‘Come on, Lance!’ Keith called him. It was their turn to go in the bumper cars. Kageyama and Hinata already ran to their cars, it was always about who would reach this or that first between them.

 

Lance nodded, putting his phone in his pocket before he joined him. Seated in his car, he glanced at the celling of the attraction blinding him with the bright lights.

 

When the different cars started racing in the racetrack, Hinata directly bumped onto a wall. Kageyama eyed him while he kept driving and hid the smile smirk on his lips. When their eyes met, Hinata busted out laughing. His head thrown back, his ginger fluff moved smoothly as two deep dimples appeared on his cheek. Kageyama swallowed as he turned his car avoiding Hinata.

 

Lance felt his phone buzzing once again. Now he was getting tired of these calls. He would answer once and for all so everyone would stop bothering him.

 

‘What?’ he barked at the phone.

 

‘Lance, it’s me.’

 

Lance narrowed his eyes, taking the off his ear. That was his father.

 

His father would never call him, he texted him sometimes and talk over his wife’s voice but he had never called his son by himself.

 

‘Papa? Why are you calling?’

 

There was moment before Luis McClain answered. He tried to think of something soft so he wouldn’t worry his son. Yet what left his mouth had the complete opposite effect.

 

‘Uh… There is a huge emergency I can’t tell by the phone but if you can come it could be… uh useful. I’ll pay you back the plane ticket. Come as soon as possible.’

 

With that, he hung up leaving an anxious Lance in the middle of a funfair with no information. It was supposed to be a good day but as always Fate had to screw everything up.


	3. Three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting that late! I had my finals so i didn't have enough time to write but as an apology, i give you some Kghn fluff (????) and Klance angst for your soul. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter, if you do leave a comment it's always good to see. Thank you

_I had a dream that no one else_

_could have and I threw away_

_everything that I didn’t need  
_

_Thoughts that I can’t surrender_

_dwell in my chest_

 

 

 

 

 

Hinata raised his head at Kageyama. The line for the big wheel was way too long. They had been in it for almost forty minutes, but it was supposed to worth the wait. This day had passed pretty fast unlike his usual days off, he had been passing watching ballets and practicing until his body couldn’t take it anymore. It was quite uncommon for him to leave his apartment to spend time outside with people.

 

 

He turned his head at Hinata who was already looking at him with his bright smile.

 

‘Do you think he’s gonna be okay? Or at least will be okay?’

 

 

They eyed Lance who was fidgeting before them. His hands were shaking since they have left the bumper cars where he had received a call. After that, even Keith looked affected by that.

 

 

 

How was he supposed to hold on if even Lance was breaking down?

 

 

How was he supposed to support him when he couldn’t stand by himself?

 

 

Keith sat next to him, his mouth trying to draw a smile, and looked before him Kageyama and Hinata going to the Big wheel.

 

 

Hinata sat first on the bench in their cab. The sky was already dark, small stars sparkled before them. Kageyama sat down next to him, waiting for the attraction to start. No one word was shared between them, it was the first time they were alone together and oddly both enjoyed that moment. It was just difficult for them to find words, the perfect ones. Hinata was the first who decided to talk, his eyes staring at the landscape before them. It was always safer when Kageyama wasn't giving him his usual glare.

 

  
  
‘Honestly, it’s really awesome to dance with you.’

 

 

  
  
Kageyama closed his eyes and focused. He could remember perfectly the way Hinata was moving his body against his when they had danced together. He could remember the odd feeling in his chest when Hinata was smiling at him. It was a new experience to dance with someone like Hinata and it wasn't unpleasing.

 

 

  
  
‘Yeah…’

 

 

  
  
Hinata was not that bad at dancing. Together they had a pretty great dynamic, each one bringing out the best of the other. Kageyama was trying to trust Hinata, just as he needed to trust himself. Hinata as well had to learn his worth to improve not only as a dancer but also as an adult.

 

  
  
Kageyama had never been someone smart with words. There were people born with the ability to speak about their feelings, what was going on deep inside their guts but he wasn't like that. His words were expressed only through his actions from sadness to joy, his ballet movements would always show everyone how he felt. If they both needed to improve, they had to be honest, to talk to each other about what was going on their minds.

 

  
  
  
‘You know…’

 

 

  
  
Hinata remained silent, for once Kageyama had a low voice, and he knew he had to listen. _Focus_.

 

  
  
  
‘I was honest with you when I said you're not a bad dancer. You're really talented. Maybe you didn't practice that much younger but you have it in you. You have that passion, the one that means everything. Look at you, Hinata, you can even practice on points when I’ve never could. The look on your face when you dance… Fuck! It’s ju-just… beautiful. Can you believe you needn’t have your eyes opened when you dance because your brain trusts your body? A-And I trust you, Hinata... Well at least I want to start trusting you. With more trust in you, you can shine. You can dance with people ranked as the best dancers in the country; you can do whatever you want if you keep following your heart. Take it from me; I’ve been through this place where you lose all your self-confidence. One day, you will be proud of who you are and how far you've come to be there. You can be a star, a unique one that shines enough to blind me and makes me… makes me feel… w-what I don't usually feel.’

 

 

  
  
  
Hinata glanced at him, his bottom lip shivering. Kageyama turned up to be someone surprising Hinata more than he had thought. The words he had just said were enough to left Hinata silent for a moment. What did he mean by something he didn't usually feel?

 

  
  
'What do you feel?’

 

 

  
  
It has left his pursed lips in a whisper, almost a curious demand. He needed to know. Without it, there was a piece of his puzzle that was missing. Kageyama didn’t know what to say. How would Hinata process his words? Instead of talking, he grabbed Hinata’s hand. The latter crunched his nose. Why must Kageyama be that harsh? Their eyes met their expression mirroring.

 

  
  
‘Sorry,’ Kageyama mumbled as his thumb rubbed his pale hand.

 

  
  
He brings it to his chest, his eyes locked on the brown ones before him. They were at the highest point of the big wheel, a light breeze pushing through their locks. Hinata couldn’t take away his eyes from Kageyama. His fingers lightly resting on his ribcage. Pounding, his heart was pounding against Hinata’s hand. That was how Kageyama felt around him. He couldn’t take his eyes off the navy blue ones before him, it was awkward but it felt okay nonetheless.  
Their fingers laced, resting between their bodies. They were no longer blushing, just doing what their mind told them to do. From there, everyone around were microscopic, just as their opinion on the way Hinata danced. If he needed an opinion, his partners were plenty.  
As long as they were together, it would be okay for him. It would be okay for them.

  
  
  
‘Are you scared?’ Hinata asked, glancing at their hands.

  
  
Kageyama swallowed. Was he scared? Was he afraid of Hinata? The only thing scaring him was the thought of wrecking him. He wanted Hinata to enjoy his passion for ballet.

 

  
  
‘Not really, it's just-’

 

  
  
‘It's just that trauma that still haunts you, isn’t it?’

 

  
  
Kageyama turned his head, looking at the opposite direction. Hinata frowned once again, if they wanted to trust each other they had to be honest. Even if it was difficult for Kageyama, he must know that Hinata would never let him down. Never.

 

 

  
‘I’m here and I am proud of dancing with you, Tobio. I’m proud of dancing with one the best. Look at all your accomplishments. Maybe you don’t know it yet because what happened ruined your self-confidence around others, but I trust you. Even if you fuck something up sometimes, it’d be okay because I know you’re talented. You know that you’re talented so-’

 

 

  
  
‘Thank you.’ Kageyama looked at the sky avoiding the pressing look on Hinata’s face. He still didn’t understand why Hinata was that kind towards him when all he had done was insulting him and yelling.

  
When the movement of the big wheel stopped, the two partners were driven forward. Kageyama crunched his nose at the loud sound of the wheel grating. They were back on the floor after these long minutes up in the sky. Hinata didn’t take his hand off Kageyama’s, so the other didn’t take it off neither. Why would he? It was a bit rude to just unlace hands, wasn’t it? Hinata started walking to the opposite direction after jabbering something about milk and slides.

 

  
  
Some popular music was playing at full blast as they were rushing to the next attraction. Hinata was grinning like crazy causing Kageyama to also raise the corner of his lips. When Hinata glimpsed at him, Kageyama realized they had reached the attraction quicker than he had thought. A white inflatable slide was raised just before them. One of his eyebrows rose, Kageyama stared at it. Honestly? Were they in middle school or? They were too old to play in these kinds of attractions. Yet as his eyes shifted from the Cow-patterned slide to Hinata, Kageyama couldn’t help the fond on his face. Hinata kept shaking their tied hands with the biggest grin on his face. It seemed pretty painful though, at the end of the day, Hinata would have his cheeks cramped but it was worth it. When the boys nodded at each other with their eyes crinkling, they rushed at the entrance.

 

  
  
‘Oh! Oh! Oh’

 

  
  
  
Both raised their head at the voice. Tsukishima was standing just before them with Kuroo hugging -grinding behind him. The couple had their college jackets on their shoulders to protect them from the cold breezing of the dusk. Kageyama frowned at the sight as Hinata startled; he must meet him all the time. They had to encounter all the damn time. Was it possible to have a moment without having Tsukishima pestering him or not? Kageyama would erase this stupid smirk from his classmate’s face.

  
Kuroo tightened his grip around Tsukishima and sneakered. ‘Cute.’

  
  
Tsukishima laughed along with him, his eyes shifting to the Kageyama and Hinata with their hands laced. ‘Isn’t it, Tetsuro?’

 

  
  
Kageyama let Hinata’s hand go when he saw the smug on Tsukishima’s face. He wouldn’t give him another chance to criticize him, not right now. He had better things to do than pestering him all the time. Small fingers clenched his. A glance down and he saw his hand once again laced with Hinata’s who gently pressed it. They eyed each other; Hinata gave him a reassuring smile. _Right. It would be okay._  
Tsukishima gave them one last look before nodding with his usual smirk.

 

  
  
‘Let’s go! It sounds so amazing,Tobio!’

 

 

  
  
_Great_ , Kageyama swallowed. They won’t have to talk about it and it was just what he needed. Things would have been so awkward; Hinata would have understood that he was just a coward.Tobio. Why was he calling him by his first name ? He tried to ignore how much annoying and weird it was. He shook his head running behind Hinata, who was already climbing the ladder which lead them to the top of the slide.

 

  
  
'Come on!'

 

 

  
  
Kageyama heard Hinata's yell from where he was standing, noticing Hinata already seated on the slide. He quickened his pace and climbed the ladder, licking his lips in apprehension. Hinata crinkled his eyes in a soft smile when Kageyama sat next to him. They took a moment to contemplate the landscape as he wondered whether it was a good idea or not. It was completely insane. Why would he jump off this huge slide? They could hurt themselves badly. What if he would break one of his bones? They were important to him. He wouldn’t be able to dance again before a long time. He couldn't afford to be hurt when they had a performance to-

  
A yell left his mouth when a hand grasped at his wrists, dragging him down. It was Hinata. Their bodies left the mattress, bouncing against each other and the slide. Hinata was a mess, his eyes crying of laughter whereas Kageyama was just yelling. His hand was still held by Hinata which made the entire process even worse. His heart slammed harder against his rib cage, not only because of how much he was under the pressure of the adrenaline but also he liked it. Well, he wasn't sure of really liking it yet the warmth of his cheeks was tickling him. After their final bounce, although the boys were in a ridiculous position, Hinata's leg under Kageyama’s chest, their hands were still laced.

 

  
  
'Oh god, it was crazy! I thought I’d die! It was so so so cool!’

 

  
  
Kageyama nodded. That was true; even though they had almost died by jumping off the slide, it was as Hinata said cool.

 

 

  
  
‘I should get going now it's getting late.’ Kageyama mumbled, wiping away the dirt from his pants. It wasn't late but after a long day here, Kageyama wanted to go home to study his routine.

 

 

 

Hinata pouted, his arms crossed over his chest. Kageyama was always trying to flee instead of stay with him a little bit more. If they wanted to be close enough to dance together, they should at least spend a bit more time together.  
  
  
Kageyama scratched the back of his head, pursing his lips. He didn't like the look on Hinata's face; it made him want to punch him. Has he done something bad to make him pout? He had to go back to the dorms but maybe he could ask Hinata to come with him. Since Hinata wasn’t annoying today, maybe staying with him a little longer wouldn’t hurt him. They would be able to talk about some of the things they want to change in their routine.

 

  
‘I… I guess you can come with me -not for anything bad huh! Just so we can work on the routine, modify some stuff a bit tricky for you. I don’t know?’

 

 

  
Hinata gave him a toothy grin, enough to make Kageyama cringe. He proposed him to stay with him. It seemed like Kageyama had finally accepted to acknowledge his partner as a dancer, just like him, who wanted to improve his skills. He nodded, following Kageyama walking before him.

 

  
Keith and Lance, if it was their name, had probably already left after the call Lance or Keith had received earlier. They were cool; Hinata should have taken their numbers so they could hang out someday. Obviously, the time passed way too fast so he had forgotten to ask them. People were still rushing to the funfair when the dancers left it.

 

  
The place where Kageyama lived was not that far from it, so the walk home went pretty fast. His hands in his pockets, Kageyama wasn’t talking at all whereas Hinata kept rubbing his hands on his shorts. _Sweaty hands._ Kageyama glared at him with a ‘Why the hell are you sweating like an executor?’ look. As if, it was his fault. Hinata rolled his eyes as they reached the building.

  
Standing at the entrance of Kageyama’s apartment, Hinata started twisting his locks with a finger. Kageyama sighed, linking his fingers awkwardly. Why were they standing like that anyway?

 

 

 

‘Well… Uh,’ Kageyama tried to catch Hinata’s attention, unhelpfully. ‘We can go inside if you want.’

 

 

Hinata opened his mouth ready to say something bitchy but decided otherwise when he looked at the small apartment. A small room with almost nothing, as if he would just need a backpack to take all his belonging and disappear. The walls were blank, a small futon was laid on the floor, clothes were scattered in the corner of the room and that was it. No poster, no family pictures, it could be just another room; nothing here could prove it was Kageyama’s.

Kageyama frowned at Hinata’s silence. It wasn’t usual for him to be silent; he would always talk to fill the gap so nothing would be embarrassing. Kageyama didn’t know if Hinata was silent because the room wasn’t neat or because he didn’t like it? They stood silently until Kageyama couldn’t take it anymore.

 

 

‘I wanted to watch the ballet. If you want, we can watch it together…’ he walked towards the futon, took two big pillows and sat there with his computer on his lap. Hinata sat next to him and rested his head against Kageyama’s chest.

 

 

 

The movie launched, Hinata glanced at the focused face of his partner. He didn't want Kageyama to feel bad, all he wanted was to have him a bit less frustrated. Their faces were so close, Hinata could feel his breath blowing softly his hair, his eyes fluttered as they stared at the deep blue barely visible thanks to the screen light.

 

 

 

‘Are you okay ?’ Kageyama whispered, ignoring the movie for a moment. If Hinata wasn't feeling great, he had to think of something.

 

 

  
‘I am. Why are you frowning? Am I hurting you?’

 

 

  
Kageyama shook his head. Hinata shouldn’t worry, they were just watching the ballet. He had looked at him just to check if Hinata was okay but now that he was, no one would should worry about the other. Worries were a useless thing yet with eyes closed, Kageyama thought about only one thing. The small figure of the Petite Ballerina on the floor. It should have been forgotten and ignored but it's still here. He couldn't stop imagining Hinata on the floor just as that girl was. Not that he cared or had any feelings for the girl, it was more about Hinata right now. If Kageyama would hurt him, maybe he wouldn't be able to dance again. Kageyama would never see again how beautiful Hinata was when he danced and oddly it was his only thought. For once, it wasn't only about Kageyama and his reputation but also about Hinata and his future as a dancer. A hand touched his cheek making him open his eyes. Hinata was still staring. Still boring through his void. Kageyama didn’t know what he was except a dancer. For him, it was only about dance but now with Hinata looking at him, it felt different. With the grin on Hinata’s lips, it felt like more.

 

 

 

_‘Am I trustworthy enough for you?’_

 

 

Instead, he just said. ‘I’m not worrying. Watch the movie, dumbass.’

 

 

 

With a shrug, Hinata turned his head back to the screen. His ear resting on Kageyama’s chest, he could feel his pace going faster as the ballet went further. He knew already what was the next scene just by feeling the pace quickened. The Pas de Deux started when Marguerite took Armand's hand, Kageyama’s breath hitched, his cheeks warming and his stomach churning.

If Marguerite in the ballet would die, leaving her lover forever, Kageyama didn’t want to just see Hinata stop dancing. He wanted to notice his progress, how he could blossom into a star, the kind of stars which could blind Kageyama with their purity.  
After a while, Hinata wasn't moving anymore, only purring. Kageyama felt tired as well, his heavy eyelids barely staying open. It was the first time a classmate, his partner, was staying the night with him. Even if Hinata was a dumbass, it felt safer to have someone who trusts you with you instead of being alone.

  
A moment later, among the mess of the apartment, an asleep Kageyama was cradling Hinata in his arms. Both wrapped up in a blanket, enjoying each other's warmth. And something weird happened for the first time in two years, Kageyama slept peacefully. No night terrors or panic attack in the middle of the night, there wasn't any nightmare just a simple night which made him feel safe for the first time in so damn long.

 

* * *

 

 

‘ It’s going to be okay, Lance. I know it will,’ Keith whispered, glancing at Lance who was clenching at the steering wheel.

  
They were on their way to the airport after they quickly went back to the dorms to take some stuff they needed. Lance was mumbling under his breath the entire trip whereas Keith tried to say something yet he was completely useless. Once again he was a burden to him. Lance must had pay for a plane ticket for the two of them and carry him around just because he had no other choice. Well two choices were possible: Either kick Keith out but he would look like an ass or either carry Keith around like a dead weight. In both cases, Keith was uncomfortable.

 

 

  
‘Why are making that face, Keith?’

 

 

  
Great, Lance saw him, now he would feel guilty. They were at a traffic light just before the airport, which meant Lance had time to talk to him and wouldn't give up until Keith would talk.

 

 

‘Which face? It's my regular face.’

 

 

Lance raised an eyebrow, Keith really thought he would buy that. That was not his business, Keith already had plenty of troubles to himself. Worrying about Lance’s business would solve nothing.

 

 

‘I’m okay, dude. Everything is okay so stop worrying.’

 

  
Keith clenched his fist, his eyes boring into Lance’s. Liar. Fucking liar. Why was he acting tough when Keith knew he felt down? Why must he be the only one who protected his friend? If it was the type of friendship Lance wanted, he could go to hell.

 

  
‘Fucking nonsense! Why are you pretending? I thought we were friends-‘

 

  
Lance tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

 

 

‘Why are you like this, Keith? Maybe, everything is messed up. Maybe, I’m trying not to panic. Maybe, it's fucking nothing,’ Lance was yelling, slamming his hand against the wheel, ‘Maybe, one of my siblings is wounded. Maybe, it's my Mama. I swear, Keith, I’m fucking trying to hold on. I want you to act like there's nothing. I beg you!’

 

  
‘Whatever Lance.’

 

  
‘Whatever Keith,’ Lance took a high pitched voice, moving his fingers as quotation marks.

 

 

  
What was wrong with him? Keith had a deeper voice than that and he wasn't even talking like that. He slouched in his seat, rolling his eyes at Lance. Okay, then if they had to pretend, they will.

 

 

  
‘I’m gonna look for a parking spot, meanwhile can you take our stuff and wait at the American Airlines desks?’

 

 

  
With that, Keith left, his pouch bag and Lance’s bag in his hands. It was already freezing outside. The walk to the airport was a real pain, his muscles shivering with the cold air. He didn't except what would be Lance’s family’s reaction to meet a stranger in a difficult moment for them. If they were all pretending, Keith wouldn't know how to act. Pretending to be happy when everything was okay when it's about him but not about other, even when it's around his friend.

 

 

  
‘How far are we from New York?’Keith asked while Lance was buying their plane tickets.

 

 

‘1 hour and a half or something like that.’

 

 

Keith nodded as his eyes were focusing on his Clash Royal game. It meant they would land approximately around 11, at that time, there were barely one bus per hour. Plus he knew Lance didn't live downtown, they must take the train to the household.

 

 

‘My Papa will pick us up at the airport.’

 

 

  
‘Have you told him you wasn't coming alone or-’

 

 

Lance shrugged with the tickets in his hand, already walking away. ‘Yeah. More or less.’

 

 

 

Keith followed him, walking close behind him. So, Lance’s family was more or less aware of his coming. What if they found him weird? He knew it wasn't the time for that kind of thoughts but he couldn't do otherwise. Sometimes they were the only things processing in his brain, the only way to avoid them was to think about something else.

 

 

  
‘is it okay for me to come or?’

 

 

 

Lance sighed, sitting next to Keith on of those uncomfortable seats in the airport. He couldn't understand the reason of all his worries. So many questions wouldn't be answered by Keith.

 

 

  
‘Why would I bring you here if it wasn't okay, Keith?’

 

 

His hand patted Keith’s shoulder. He had to understand how his friend felt or it would only be another reason to fight over something useless.

 

 

‘If you're here, it's because I know it'd be okay to have you. My parents are gonna be happy to meet one of my friends, I can promise you this. You will get tired of it sooner than what you think.’

 

 

  
Keith smiled nervously, playing with his fingers. Maybe Lance was right, if he wasn't wanted by his friend, he wouldn't have come with him. He could have stayed with Hunk but Lance had told him he wanted to have Keith by his side.

 

 

  
‘Good evening passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 475 to New York City JFK. We are now inviting those passengers with small children, and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes time. Thank you.’

 

 

  
Keith turned his head at Lance. Already? They were already taking the plane, everything was going way faster than what he thought. In less than two hours, it wouldn't be only about Lance, his friends and his college but also the ones for whom he cared the most which was terribly frightening.

 

 

‘Keith, it's gonna be okay.’

 

 

  
When the plane took off, Keith was staring at the window silently, his earphones blasting music. Lance frowned as he glanced at his friend. All he wanted was to have his friend feeling okay with him, he had to find a way to make sure even Keith felt comfortable. What kind of friend would he be if he wasn't taking care of him? After that flight, they would be with his family. Even if he had missed them a lot, he didn't know how it would feel to meet them again in that moment. Thankfully, his Papa would just act chill and wouldn't come at the airport frustrated. If not, then everything would worsen for Lance making him anxious. What if even his mother wasn't okay, the weight on his shoulders would be heavier, destroying his mental strength. All Lance needed was to see his family together, in a peaceful environment where no matter how messed up things were calm. _With no worries_.

 

 

‘Lance! Lance wake up!’

 

 

 

His eyes opened, facing Keith who was wearing his usual deadpan. Lance took a look at his phone, looking at the time. It was 10:45 pm, which meant the plane was about to land. In a yawn, Lance stretched his arms and his back. The seats in the plane had always been uncomfortable even when it wasn't a low-cost company. All Lance wanted now was a night of rest after that long day, drama wasn't in his program. That was the reason why when he noticed the pout on Keith face, he decided to ignore it. They would fight again about worries and such when they could just listen to their music or play video games.  
For someone like Lance, it was a pain to carry everyday a burden on his back. What if he had no reason to be happy anymore ? It was way more difficult to carry on our life when you were alone. After having seen how sad Keith was, Lance didn't want to be by himself. Whether he could avoid it by lying and pretending to be a accomplished person or by simply living his life with his beloved ones.

 

 

‘Did you switch off your phone?’

  
Lance shook his head pushing away the thoughts. Thinking about all of this wouldn't make him feel better. The only thing that should matter was what was going on at this moment not the past or the future. With his usual happiness he wouldn't have to worry about whatsoever until it is over, would he ?

 

 

 

‘Papa!’

 

 

  
Keith looked from afar Lance jumping into his father’s arms. After that week in a small apartment with only Lance and Hunk, they were in the city of New York with one member of the McClain family.

 

  
‘Papa, this is my friend Keith,’ Lance said, turning to his father.

 

 

  
‘Oh! Welcome in the family Keith!’

 

 

  
The latter stretched his arm ready for a handshake. Instead, Luis McClain dragged him into a bone crushing hug, leaving him speechless. Why?  
Lance chuckled at his astonished friend, he knew Keith wasn't used to affection. Hopefully, he wouldn’t react weirdly to a hug but by the look on his face, Keith almost seemed like he was waiting for this all his day.

 

 

  
‘Huh… Tha-thank you sir’

 

 

  
Lance’s father frowned for a second before he chuckled, giving Keith a pat on his back.

 

 

  
‘Sir? Call me Luis!’

 

 

 

  
A scowl appeared on Keith’s face as he leaned forward to grab his pouch. What was going on with that man? Has he forgotten they'd just flight to here in panic? It wasn't time for hugs and affection. He glanced at Lance who was smiling as always. That fucking grin. He was probably waiting for him to talk with his father.

 

 

‘Yeah…’ he scratched the back of his neck, ‘Okay, Mr. Luis’

 

 

  
It was Lance’s turn to laugh as he put his arm around Keith’s shoulder. It was as if he never had any social interaction and acted as a 5 grader.

  
They headed to the car, Lance and his father chatting about random stuff. Nothing about the emergency was brought up. Both just pretended to be all right, laughing at stupid puns, talking about their recent meals. No worries once again.

  
Keith sat down on the back seats, his bag resting on his knees. While Lance and his father was talking, he was playing video games on his phone. He wasn't scared of meeting the family. Nothing was scaring him, right? His eyes shifted to the dark sky that was cleared out, no skyscrapers anymore. They were getting closer and closer to Harrison and Keith took a shaky breath as he laid his forehead against the cold window.

 

 

  
‘We’re almost there Keith,’ Lance whispered when he'd noticed him acting oddly.

 

 

  
‘Yeah.’

 

  
The house was way bigger than what he had expected. Keith knew they were a wealthy family thanks to their bakery businesses but not like that. Although they had a comfortable life, the McClain was a simple family. At the gates, Lance’s mother was waiting for them to come. With a hand on her waist, she observed Lance and his friend with a content smile. At least he would have someone with him in a such complicated situation. When they were close enough, she joined them, greeting her son then the guy next to him.

 

 

 

‘I’m Susannah but you can call me Suzy.’

 

 

  
‘I’m just Keith.’ He ran a hand through his thick hair before he was dragged into another hug this time by Lance’s mother. This time, he rolled his arms around her, hiding his smile with his sleeve. It felt warm, Susannah smelled a mix of butter and cinnamon. Her long curls reached Keith’s waist wrapping him tightly. Everything was going to be okay.

 

 

 

‘Don’t steal my Mama, Brunette!’ Lance snorted as he was going inside the house, giving them one last look.

 

 

  
‘It’s okay Keith, don’t worry.’

 

 

  
With that, Keith followed her inside. He let his heavy bag down near the stairs screwing his eyes up at the bright light. His heart was beating hard as he tried looking for his friend. Lance didn’t go upstairs, did he? Where are his parents though?

 

 

  
‘Why are you making that face again?’ was what Lance asked when he noticed Keith clutching at his chest. He still didn't understand why he was always anxious, it wasn't that healthy. Keith must relax someday instead of being always that stiff.

 

 

'I'm fine,’ Keith spat, walking towards him. What was Lance’s deal?

 

 

  
‘Don't be angry bro, let's go greet my family in the living room.’

 

 

  
‘Don’t bro me. ’

 

 

 

  
Keith rolled his eyes, pouting to Lance. He was such an idiot always messing with him. Sometime he wanted to kill him or to punch him. At the same damn time he also wanted to laugh along with him and hug him just as his mother has just done before.

When they reached the living room, Keith noticed the pastries on a table, the warm smile on Susannah’s face and the woman seated by the window, her long hair covering her figure. Unlike Lance who immediately noticed his Mama’s brimming eyes, letters from the local hospital and his sister who was hiding under her jet black hair. Why wasn't she jumping to his arms? Why wasn't her in her bedroom drawing? She turned her face and gave Lance a small smile.

 

  
‘H-hi bro!’

 

 

  
Fake enthusiasm. Don't pretend to be okay. It was hurting way much more than if he was warned beforehand.

 

 

‘What happened?’ he barked at his mother who lost her smile.

 

 

  
Keith frowned at the sight. He knew it was a bad thing to always hold on. The constant mask of happiness was scattering in front of everyone. If he had prepared himself beforehand, he wouldn't react like that.

 

 

  
‘What happened Elizabeth? Why did you call me? Why am I here?’

 

 

  
Keith whispered, trying to calm him down. ‘Lance, let them talk. You will understand then.’

 

 

Elizabeth stood up with a weak smile making her way towards her twin brother. Keith eyed her, she was the feminine version of Lance. The same bright blue eyes, their dark skin legacy from their father and the soft Caribbean accent. Yet, she seemed more fragile, weaker than him. Both looked so similar but also different.

 

 

  
‘Don't hate me, Lance.’

 

 

  
He wrapped his arms around thin waist, swallowing hard. ‘Why would I hate you, Lisa? I j-just want to know what's going on.’

 

 

  
Elizabeth raised her head meeting her brother’s lost eyes as she tried to formulate a good way to say it.

 

 

‘I-I have a Leukemia.’

 

 

 

What kind of joke was that? Keith stepped back as Lance’s face twisted. How was it possible? Elizabeth had a healthy life, she wasn't smoking nor drinking. She was always in her bedroom or at her university studying but never in any shenanigans.  
It was something no one deserved but the worst in this mess is the fact that Lance had seen it coming. He knew she had something the last he had seen her, she was eating less than she used to, tiring faster than before. All her time was spent sleeping but he had blamed her hard work when he knew it was deeper than that.  
He decided that lying to himself was better than facing the painful truth. As always, it was worsened, trying to be happy for Lance seemed more like a joke than a possibility.

 

                       •••

Hinata was still lying on the futon when Kageyama’s phone rang. The owner was busy in the bathroom. With a small glance at the phone, Hinata noticed a foreign phone number. Who would call him abroad? His family? It was true he didn't know a lot of things about Kageyama except that he’s a great dancer Hinata had admired for a while and that he tried to hide his inner wounds. His new partner wanted to learn about him, he desired him to feel safe around him not only when they were dancing but also when they were just spending time together. That reason why he answered the phone.

 

‘Hello?’

 

 

  
‘Allo? Kageyama Tobio? C’est bien vous ? Ici Aurelie Dupont, directrice de l’Opera de Paris, vous auriez un moment à me consacrer?’

 

 

In which damn language that woman was talking? All Hinata understood was Kageyama Tobio and Opera de Paris. These words in the same sentence didn't sound good, at all. Hinata stood up, looking at Kageyama who was back in the room. He had to give him the phone but didn't like that call. What if Kageyama was about to leave the country to join that Opera? For the first time, someone was telling him he wasn't worthless, he wanted to keep dancing with him. That was dumb and fast yet it felt meaningful. Everything about Kageyama would be meaningful, Hinata wanted to prove him that he was wrong when he had told him he was a shitty dancer. Hinata would be better than Kageyama, they would improve together. At least, only if he wasn't leaving him.

 

 

  
When Kageyama took his phone in Hinata's hand, the latter left, going on the small veranda with a deep sigh.

 

 

‘Sorry Madam, I don't speak french. Can you please explain it in english?’

 

 

The woman took a moment before she talked again. ‘Oh! I’m sorry. I’m the headmistress of The Paris Opera and I wanted to talk to you if you have time.’

 

 

  
His childhood’s dreams of becoming a dancer for this company could be fulfilled with this call. He knew it. The Opera didn't call people for the pleasure of listening to their voices, it was only to scout them. Yet, it didn’t feel like he thought it would. He pressed his lips together, thinking about it a few seconds. If he accepted any offer, he would have to drop out his studies, his gala, his routine and most of all Hinata. If he decided to drop out, he wouldn't be able to see him dance, to improve by his side. He wouldn't witness the beauty of his art. His chest wouldn't be warm around him anymore. Oddly, he had enjoyed his night him though Hinata wouldn’t ever know that. The way he clutched at Kageyama’s t-shirt during his sleep made him feel safe.

 

 

‘Mr. Kageyama?’

 

 

  
‘Y-Yes sorry I'm listening to you.’

 

 

  
‘We have seen your performance for enrollment in university and we are interested in your application. You're a soloist, aren't you? So there's a free position here for most talented dancers.’

 

 

  
Kageyama closed his eyes, barely listening to her. ‘I see. I- I’ll let you know soon. I’m really glad to have caught your eyes thank you for this opportunity.’

 

 

  
He hung up, putting his phone down. His brain was a mess filled with all kind of thoughts, the only thing he wanted now was to see Hinata, to make sure Hinata was all right. He was sitting on the veranda giving his back to Kageyama, his hand messing with a plant before him.

 

 

  
‘Hinata… I-’

 

 

  
‘Are you going to leave for France?’ Hinata asked with a small voice, still looking at the plant to avoid Kageyama.

 

 

  
Kageyama sighed, running a hand through his hair nervously. ‘I’m not sure yet. It's a huge opportunity but…’

 

 

  
'But what Tobio?’ Hinata bustled with eyes brimming. He should have known it, Kageyama didn’t really care about it. It was more than just the duet, it was also the building of a relationship based on blind trust. It was the end of everything Hinata started to enjoy, the end of the genesis of the first relationship he had with someone. It meant something for him, something he didn't want to give up. If it was called being selfish, then that was what he was.

  
_‘But I don't wanna leave you. I don't wanna give up on us.’_

 

  
Those words couldn't leave his mouth, he knew he wasn't able to say them so he did what he knew the best. Showing instead of telling, he took four steps closing the distance between him and Hinata and cupped his chin, closing his eyes. His lips brushed against Hinata before he slammed them against his. Kageyama wanted him to understand how he felt as he took Hinata’ pale hand and rested it on his chest. There, Hinata could hear his heart beating for him. It was crazy for both of them, if Kageyama left the country, he would probably never be able to dance a duet again because of his inner demons. He knew it, he knew that Hinata even when was totally dumb and cringeworthy could help him to recover. It would be hard for him to trust after all the bullshit that happened before they meet, before they started dancing together, but that struggle was worth going through. Hinata stopped squirming against him and wrapped his arms around his neck, panting.

 

 

  
‘I don't want you to leave… It's the first time I feel great dancing with someone. The way you look at me when we danced gives me so much strength. I- I just can't control it… I don't wanna stop dancing with you. With you, I feel just as safe as what I need …’

 

 

  
Kageyama frowned, his forehead against Hinata's. He didn't want to leave, even if it was a huge opportunity, a do or die one. But what if he wasn't able to dance a duet again because of his trust issues. For once, he just decided to follow Hinata blindly just as the way they trusted each other when they danced with eyes closed. He had to choose quickly but for now his only worry was Hinata sobbing against his chest.

 

_Nothing else was important except him for the moment._


	4. Four.

 

_If you get lost_

_I will be your guide_

_And after that, if you believe in me_

_I’ll m_ _ake sure you know the way_

_So_ _don’t be afraid_

 

 

 

 

 

After a night at the McClain Household, Keith decided to give Lance time to process the new of his sister’s illness. He knew he couldn't help him though, that kind of news wasn't the easiest things to deal with. Sat on a high chair in the kitchen, Keith was sipping his tea, observing Susannah getting ready for work. She gave him a warm smile when she saw him running a finger on his cup.

  
‘You work in Manhattan, right?’

  
She nodded. ‘Yes, near Central Park.’

Almost one hour drive but it was apparently worth it. Lance had told Keith he hated that job as if it was the plague. Maybe because he had been around it for too long. Maybe because it was indeed a shitty job. Yet Keith found himself asking:

‘Do you need help there?’

  
Grinning ear to ear, Susannah nodded, cupping his hands. ‘Oh! Thank you Keith! Every time I ask Lance for help in the bakery, he just scowls and disappears until everyone forgets about it.’

  
Keith softened at the thought, of course Lance would do that. ‘Yeah, totally the type of things Lance would do,’ he chuckled, shaking his head softly.

  
‘Anyway if you want to come with me, just know that I'll pay you for your work.’

  
‘No, you don't have to, madame,’ he noticed the glare on Susannah’s face, ‘I mean, Susannah. I don't need to be paid, you’re already hosting me, I wouldn't dare.’

  
‘All work deserves its payment, Keith. You can't refuse.’

  
Keith hesitated, it sounded rude to refuse. After all, he needed that money even if it wasn't a lot but he couldn't just depend on Lance’s student's loans. With a small nod, he agreed to her proposal. Instead of staying here with nothing to do, he would have an interesting day.

  
‘I’ll wait for you in the car while you'll get ready.’

 

Keith cleaned his cup and went upstairs. Lance wasn’t supposed to be asleep so when he knocked on the door he went inside before Lance couldn't reply. He was laying on the bed, his arms wrapping his knees. Lance was still upset, Keith knew it, his stomach twitching each time he would see Lance pouting.

  
‘I’m gonna go with your mother to the bakery. Do you want to come?’

  
‘No,’ Lance replied in a small voice.

 

‘If you feel worse today, text me, okay?’ Keith reminded him with a reassuring voice. Lance didn’t move nor said something. As long as Lance knew Keith was here for him the same way he was, it was okay in Keith’s opinion.

 

  
‘Then, I’ll see you later, buddy.’

  
With that he closed the door; running downstairs so Susannah wouldn't be late because of him. Keith didn't know how long would Lance stay down. hopefully, he would try to cheer up to enjoy the time he had with his sister instead of crying in his bedroom. Not that Keith was blaming him or something, all he wanted for Lance was his happiness. Learning that your twin sister has a blood cancer was kind of hard to swallow. Even as an only child Keith understood that, he wouldn’t pressure his friend until he would be ready to talk.

  
‘Are you okay Keith?’ Susannah asked when she opened the car’s door.

‘Yes. Don’t worry, I- I was just thinking about… things.’

  
‘By things, you mean… Lance, don’t you?’

The car roared when it started moving, passing the gates of the residence. Susannah screwed her eyes up, focusing on the road. In reality, she only gave Keith time to form an answer. They would spend at least a few days together, so getting to know him would make no harm, right? He wasn't looking at her, his eyes avoiding the blue ones remembering him Lance’s.

  
‘Kinda, yeah.’

  
His eyes shifted from his lap to the window next to him. Obviously, Susannah was just as Lance. Obviously, she wouldn't be satisfied with that answer. After a moment, she talked again.

  
‘Why?’

  
Her voice was way lower than before, a single word floating as if it was nothing. That was true though, it was a simple question. No big deal. Yet, Keith took a moment before he replied, trying to think of something right to say. Because Keith was friend with Lance? Because he had always been someone who think about the others before himself? Because he just cared? Because Lance cared about him when no one else was?

  
‘Well, he’s my friend. I can’t just ignore how my friend feels, can I? If he’s sad, I worry. I think it's how friendship works.’

  
It’s also because Lance is my first friend in years, the only one who cares when even foster families didn't give a fuck about me. He was there when no one else was

But he wouldn't say that. She didn't need to know how he truly felt, some bit of it but never exactly. It was always such a pain to have someone complaining about their issues, it would be so much worse to have someone as Keith ranting all the time about the reasons why they feel down.

  
‘Lance loves his friends so much and treats them almost better than me but it's a while since he has brought one here.’

  
‘And how is it with Elizabeth?’

  
Susannah hummed as she gave him a small smile. ‘Well, they're twins, I think they were born that close. He came out to her before me, she’s the only one that can witness him drawing. His art makes him insecure though he’s a good artist, he definitely should trust himself more.’

  
Keith nodded. Except the frescos in the room, he had never seen anything made by Lance. Although he wasn't a bad drawer, his insecurities always had the best of him, weakening his will to draw and show off. Elizabeth was also an artist according to Lance though Keith hadn't had much time to talk with her. The day before they were exhausted, plus that one information wrecked Lance’s delight. Maybe if they weren't coming back late, Keith would be able to talk with Elizabeth and Lance.

  
‘You see, if you know what is Lisa’s mechanic, you’ll understand pretty much everything about Lance. Even though Lisa and Lance are different people they share a lot of the same mannerisms and tendencies. If you watch you can see the pattern.’

  
Keith nodded staring at the road. After that no one talked for the rest of the road, Susannah humming along to the tune on the radio. Keith played a few games on Clash Royal to keep himself and his mind busy. How was it to learn a new like that? How was it to learn that your twin can die without witnessing your big moment in your life as your wedding? Keith knew a bunch of things, he wasn't the dumbest person nor the smartest. He knew ten digits of pi. He knew how the human body worked. He also knew basic informations such as two time two equal 4. But what he didn't know was how relationships work, how it felt to have a sister and caring parents. Even like that, what he knew was that if Lance needed him, he would be here for him.

  
‘See, we’ve been pretty fast!’

With that, Susannah parked the car, the music stopped. They were there. A fresh breeze wrapped Keith who took a shaky breath m. That jacket was a bad, bad idea. He was freezing death. Maybe if he had taken another hoodie, he would feel way much better. When Keith raised his head, Susannah was already opening the bakery. It was just under a fancy building, it was more than just a simple bakery, spacious as a loft yet it seemed small and warm as a cocoon.

  
‘Welcome to mi casa.’ She laughed dramatically, her hands tying her long hair in a ponytail. With a spin, she was inside, the lights switched on.  
Keith followed her, the thick sent of butter and coffee hung in the air. Why was it already smelling food?

  
‘My apprentice is already there, in the kitchen. She always come earlier than me, don’t ask me why because I really don't know.’

  
As soon as they reached the kitchen, Keith felt overwhelmed. His five senses were tickled by everything in the room. First, the bright light blinded him, he thought as he screwed his eyes up noticing a girl shaking her hips to the tune coming from the speakers. Blond locks balancing along with her body, the woman was whipping butter in a massive metallic bowl. There was also a pleasant smell filling the room coming from the oven.

  
‘Good morning, Mrs McClain,’ she sang at her, voice high and loud. Her eyes shifted to Keith. ‘Hello…?’

  
Susannah gave her a warm smile before she turned around heading for the fridge. ‘Lee, this is Keith. Keith this is Lee.’

  
The whip clicked against the metallic bowl when Lee stretched her tattooed hand toward Keith who grabbed it with a small smirk.

  
‘ Fall Out Boy? Really?’

  
She pushed one black bang behind her ear as she let a light chuckle. She glanced at the several bracelets Keith was wearing. Classic.

  
‘Said the guy who listen to My Chemical Romance,’ she sneered letting go of his hand.

 

‘Keith, you’ll work in the café, that’s okay for you?’

  
Two hours later, the café and the bakery were full of people. It was probably the reason why Lance despised that place so much, customers were calling Keith from left to right. Some complained about a tea too hot or a cinnamon roll with too much cinnamon. Wasn't it supposed to have cinnamon though? He understood why Lee preferred working in the kitchen with Susannah than here among the rich kids of New York city.

  
Keith took his phone, unlocked it and saw nothing from Lance, not even a small gif or a snapchat. Not that Keith cared or nothing.

 

Okay, yes, he cared about Lance but it was normal. You can't just not care about someone who's always joyful and is suddenly depressed. Keith decided to check if he was feeling a bit better.

 

1:33 pm:  
**Moonlight_trash** : Hey Lance how are you doing?

1:34 pm:  
**Frappuccilancey** : meh :-(

  
1:34 pm:  
**Moonlight_trash** : What do you receive when you ask a lemon for help?  
  
Under his warm blanket, Lance purses his lips. What was that weird question? Was Keith already turning crazy? Well, if he wasn't yet.

 

1:36 pm:  
**Frappuccilancey** : Idk? Why?

1:37 pm:  
**Moonlight_trash** : A lemonaid, Lance.

Keith chuckled at his own joke, and ignored the odd look from the customers as he stared at his screen, smirking.

Whereas, Lance furrowed his brows at the bad pun. He didn't know Keith could say something like that. He seemed more like a not funny guy, a stiff emotional guy who didn't joke.

 

1:40 pm:  
**Moonlight** _ **trash** : A fucking lemonaid, Lance!

 

  
It was everything but funny. What kind of ugly jokes was it? Yet Lance smiled at his screen, already typing something back.His teeth chewed his bottom lip as he suppressed a laugh.

  
1:43pm:  
**Frappuccilancey** : Okay but what’s God fav food?

  
The text was seen just after Keith had served a coffee to a frustrated mother with four shopping bags in her hands. As if it was his fault if she was packed. With a sigh, he went back to his phone reading the weird question about food and god.

  
1:50 pm:  
**Moonlight_trash** : uh? No?

  
1:50 pm :  
**Frappuccilancey** : Cheeses crust lmao

  
There was a silence between the guys, no one typing anything. Both gazed at their phone with a blank face. Cheeses. Keith repeated once again before he busted out laughing along with Lance who was a giggling mess in front of his phone.

  
1:55 pm **:  
Moonlight_trash: ** oh my god Lance I hate you so much

  
1:55 pm:  
**Frappuccilancey** : That was a good one bro

Keith stopped laughing and looked at the room. He hoped he had managed to cheer him up a little. He could stand the thought of his friend/roommate being depressed so tried through his jokes to be funny. But what if it wasn't enough? What if he wasn't a bad friend?

  
1:56 pm:  
**Moonlight** _ **trash** : It’d be ‘fun’ if you were with me rn.

  
Lance pouted, he didn’t want to bring everyone down because of his sadness state. Maybe, it will ease with time, the pain being bearable again. Only time will tell.

  
1:48 pm:  
**Frappuccilancey** : I should maybe go out a little. I’m gonna talk with my sister then when you're back, we can do something together

  
1:48 pm:  
**Moonlight** _ **trash** : Sounds good.

  
With that, Lance decided to go to the bedroom next to his. His phone left on his bed, he knew he had to talk with his sister. Pretending everything was okay wouldn't help anyone, it was useless. If someone really needed a talk, it was Elizabeth who had made nothing to deserve that. Her brother should support her instead of being a crybaby. The door opened at the second knock, Elizabeth welcomed her brother with her usual wide smile.

  
‘Hey, bro!’ She let him inside closing the door behind them. ‘Are you okay?’

The corner of her brother’s lips raised as he took her in his arms. If he was mad at her, Lance shouldn't stay here. Honestly, there was no reason they should talk if it was just for Lance to stay that pressed for that.

  
'How are you, Lisa? Talk to me please. I’m so sorry I've been acting like a douche when you're the one suffering…’

  
Elizabeth laughed at her brother, an ear against his ribcage listening to the soothing beating of his heart.

  
‘I’m okay for now. Tired but okay. I want to enjoy being with my brother without thinking about my… l-leukemia… I want to know more about your friend.’

  
Lance swallowed at the word Leukemia. It would be hard for him to get used to that, even if it wasn't sure she would be gone because of it. Maybe she'll recover sooner than what he thought.

  
‘My friend Keith. Well I don't know what I can say about him. He’s my friend... we do friend stuff. He’s from Korea… and voila.’

  
As if she would be satisfied with that answer. Elizabeth remained silent for a moment before she looked back at him. Why was there a simple friend here at this moment?

  
‘Really?’ Keith shuddered when she gave him a pressing look. ‘Isn't he your boyfriend or something?’

  
It was too much for Lance who busted out laughing, his head shaking as he clapped his hands.

  
‘My boyfriend? What? I can’t breathe,’ he yelled between two laughs.

  
‘Why did you bring him here if even you couldn't handle it?’

  
‘I couldn't do otherwise,’ he scratched the back of his neck and looked at the floor, ‘It’s a long/short story but basically I couldn't do otherwise. He’s my friend, I help my friends when they need.’

  
She knew it wasn't worthy to pester him since he wouldn't say more about it. They may have a secret or might maybe date but it's an intimate relationship. Something they wouldn't talk for some reasons. She had no time to talk with Keith but maybe he would say more than her brother.

  
'Why does he need help though?’

If Keith had difficulties to tell Lance about his reason to be homeless, Lance believed he had to be the one who talk about his issues. He had no right to talk about someone’ private life like that. If something similar occurred to him, he'd be more than simply angry at the person.

So he decided to lie to his sister pretending everything except the truth and what he knew about Keith. Even if it wasn't a lot, that was already enough for a good lie.

  
‘He lives in the apartment in front of mine and some pipe have broken some weeks ago. So while it's being fixed, he lives with me. He doesn't bother me cause all his time is spent on writing in his notebook and reading tons of book. We have a pretty chill relationship honestly. Of course, sometimes we argue but it's okay I have his back and he has mine.’

Elizabeth chuckled lightly covering her mouth with her skinny hand.

‘That’s the gayest shit I’ve ever heard! Then you say you're not gay! I can't believe you!’ She rolled her eyes, her head shaking a little. Sometimes her brother was such a dork, it was ridiculous.

  
With a smirk he leaned towards her and whispered. ‘No homo, fully bi.’

  
Once again they were laughing. It was a pleasing feeling for Lance to be back here although it wasn't the best timing. Spending time with his family had always been important for him yet unlike in the past, it was now not only about them but also his whole new life as a college student, his apartment with Hunk and his friendship with Keith. It was all new for him and he took that as his first priority. That was the reason why when he grabbed Keith’s clothes to put them in the basket and something fell, clicking against the wood, it drove him mad.

He crouched to have a better view of it. A syringe. Why in the world was there a fucking syringe in Keith’s clothes? There were a bunch of possibilities.

First, Keith could be diabetic but with the amount of sugar he was eating it couldn't be that.

Then, Lance thought about some kind of treatments but it didn't sound right, Keith was a healthy man. Keith wouldn't hide any illness to Lance, right?

There was a final option in Lance’s mind. What if Keith was a drug addict? That was thinkable. He wasn't sleeping a lot at night spending most of them on his phone or sobbing. He had no chill at all, nothing could piss him. Maybe he had been kicked out of his foster family because of his drug abuses. It made sense. Everything since the beginning could be explained by it. Lance felt stupid, he could have guessed it before they got closer, it would have been easier. Now he had to think of something fast.

3:02 pm  
 **Frappuccilancey** : We need to talk asap.

3:02 pm  
 **Moonlight** _ **trash** : Whats going on Lance?

3:02 pm:  
 **Frappuccilancey** : It's important.

Keith stared at his phone, his eyes narrowed. Why was Lance suddenly acting that cold? Was he mad at him? His stomach churned. What if Lance had discovered his thing? He knew he would be kicked out of the place he was getting more and more attached, the thought eating him alive.

 

                      ••

 

  
Dance magazine has always been read by ballet dancers from all over the country. It was Hinata’s favorite, full of advice on how to improve your dancing style and there were always a bunch of gossip about the best dancers. Last month’s gossips were about the Oikawa Tooru who received a prize for being the best dancer in a duet of the country along with his boyfriend Iwaizumi Hajime.

Their relationship was known by every ballet dancer in America, they were not only dancers but also since a little time Iwaizumi had become a substitute teacher at the School of the American Ballet.

Hinata had yearned their relationship since he was little, he never had anyone with whom he could dance until today now that he had finally found someone.

Kageyama wasn't perfect. Just as everyone, he had his flaws, yelling a lot for no reason before regretting it, fighting for no reason.

Yet, after their first three weeks together, Hinata knew that Kageyama was more than that. He was the one staying late to help Hinata with the practice of the technique. He was also the one bringing extra energy drinks and snacks for Hinata though he had always pretended it was for his personal reasons. He was also the one cuddling Hinata when they ended up falling asleep while watching a ballet in Kageyama’s apartment.

For Hinata, he wasn't only a frustrated dancer but also his partner and it mattered.

That was the reason why he had rushed to Kageyama’s apartment as soon as he had received the November edition of Dance magazine. He didn’t take the time to read it, the headline was already enough. Hopefully, Kageyama hadn't already read it.

When Hinata knocked at the door, Kageyama immediately opened it, the door slamming against the wall. Either he already knew about the magazine or he had maybe had a difficult night. It was most likely the first option and Kageyama confirmed it by himself when he grabbed the magazine from Hinata’s hand.

Kageyama felt his blood boiling as he read the headline. The comeback of the Petite Ballerina. The prodigy,Tobio Kageyama, is dancing a duet again after two years. A large picture of him dancing was used for the cover.

Kageyama didn’t want to read it immediately, if he did he knew his day would be ruined. A ruined day would be a waste. His fist clenched as he reread the headline over and over.

'What the fuck is that?'

  
Even though Hinata knew Kageyama wasn't upset with him, he always felt uncomfortable around him when he get furious just as he was at the moment.  
Hinata stretched his hand to take Kageyama's and started whispering.

‘Tobio-'

But he was stopped by Kageyama who shook his head before barking.

  
'What!'

Hinata flinched and let go off his partner’s hand. It was an innocent gesture, normal people wouldn't notice or would pretend that it wasn't a big deal but Kageyama froze.

Hinata should never be afraid of him. He had his insecurities just as everyone under his stoic presence. Kageyama frowned. Great, first that bullshit and now this.

'Are you scared of me?'

It came as a whine.

He felt angry at himself, if Hinata was still scared of him, he has no point of dancing with him. He knew he wasn't not enough but he wanted to believe Hinata had spent only good time since they were been together. It was probably just the way it was supposed to be, Kageyama dancing alone so no one would be hurt. It's okay to be alone, right?

  
'No! No Tobio.'

Hinata took Kageyama’s face in his hands and started rubbing his thumbs across the cheeks of Tobio’s face. The latter pouted at the touch, his heart was already rushing in his chest, eager for Hinata.

‘Why would I be scared of you? I’m not scared of you. It’s just when you yell. I wanna help you. You know I'm here for you, right?’

Kageyama released the breath he was holding, his eyes fluttering at the contact. Maybe, he'd get mad later but for now he felt content with Hinata. It felt like just a kiss was enough to soothe him, to make him feel at ease.

‘It’s okay Tobio... We can do this, together. As long as we’re together, we’re invincible.’

  
'I just don't want to lose you... I want us to be a thing that lasts.'

But he couldn't bring himself to say it as always with this kind of thoughts. Instead, he closed the distance between his lips and Hinata's. It wasn't aggressive or brutal, the kiss was just as soft as the way Hinata makes him feel deep inside. The magazine was no longer a problem since he had his partner. Nothing could change that, the Tobio in the magazine was before he started dancing with Hinata.

 

They couldn't stop kissing as Hinata wrapped his arms around his partner's neck.

The softness remained the same but the kisses grew more intimate. Their hands were clinging to their shirts. Kageyama craved Hinata so much, he couldn't help himself from kissing him as if he was some kind of talisman. Even without knowing what was going on in his head, it felt just enough to have Hinata right now. Of course he could think of what would happen later when he would have read the magazine but for now he could just forget about everything and focus on something else.

  
Panting into each other's mouth quietly  
strings of saliva was running down their chin. Unlike what Kageyama supposed it wasn't gross. Well, at least the fact that it was totally gross aroused him even more.  
He picked Hinata up so he could wrap his legs around Kageyama's waist.

'Tobio...'

Hinata sounded so breathless and Kageyama couldn't get enough. It was as if Hinata could make his brain resting, forgetting about his issues. Not that Hinata had some magic powers or anything but oddly enough his presence was comforting Kageyama. Used to be by himself, someone trusting him blindly just as Hinata was somehow healing his wound. Maybe it wasn't real and it was only stuff Kageyama’s brain was making up but for now as long as Hinata would be here, he wouldn't care about his loneliness.

Hinata left Kageyama’s lips to start sucking at his collarbones, leaving dark bruises on them. His breath hitched, feeling even more aroused. He let his hand wander on Hinata’s pale thighs, Kageyama wanted him just for him. He wanted more than just kisses. It worsened when Hinata started rocking his hips against Kageyama's groin.

They had never gone this far before, especially Kageyama who started worrying. What if he’d hurt his partner? Once again, his insecurities had the worst timing to show up.

‘Shouyou… ’

Hinata flinched at the word, lips never leaving kageyama's skin. It was the first time since they had met that Kageyama was calling him by his first name. Hinata almost started believing he didn't know his first name but he did and his stomach flipped at the sound of Kageyama.  
  
This man would be the death of him.

And it's not as if Tobio didn't want it, he's just so scared of messing up. Yet when he heard Hinata panting next to his ear, his cock twitched. He shoved his hand into Hinata's shorts who shuddered at the skin to skin contact.

'Mo-more... please'

‘What do you want, Shouyou?’ Tobio whispered as he grabbed Hinata's butt with a hand.

 

Hinata was a mess. It was the first time he did something like that with someone but he's already aroused by it. He’s already crazy about it.

'You. I want you Tobio.'

Just as Kageyama, he shoved his hand into Tobio's sweatpants, seizing him. Kageyama bit his lip suppressing a moan when he felt Hinata touching him. he would beg for more but it would be humiliating so he just waited for Hinata to keep touching him

  
‘You like it, don’t you?’ Hinata asked, biting Kageyama's ear. ‘You love feeling my hand holding your thick cock.’

‘F-Fuck,’ he moaned, glancing down at his sweatpants while Hinata gave his cock a few pumps.

Kageyama lowered Hinata onto his bed, resting their foreheads against each other's, still stroking Hinata's cock. Their mouths wide opened were brushing against each other, Hinata gasped when he felt cold fingers pressing his gouch whereas Kageyama closed his eyes so he wouldn't moan once again because of the sight before him.

‘Tell me what you exactly want, Shouyou. How can i give you what you want if you're not specific?’

He had no idea what was making him act the way he was, but the way Hinata whimpered at his words. It must be something right.

‘Please!'

Kageyama smirked at the words and brought his fingers to his mouth licking Hinata's precum. Shouyou moaned at the sight, he wanted to see kageyama on his knees, tongue running against his skin. He wanted to see kags opening up but he knew it'd be hard to see him less dominant.

He whined gazing at Kageyama's uneasy expression, he raised his head his eyes meeting Hinata's. For a moment neither moved until Hinata pursed his lips, his voice low.

‘Lick me.’

'okay'

Hinata took a deep breath, wondering how beautiful Kageyama would be with his pinkish lips around Hinata’s cock. He closed his eyes ready for it.

Yet he jerked forward when Kageyama licked across his hole

'Tobio!'

'You said to lick you, didn't you Shouyou? That's what I'm doing'

How could he have that stoic expression at this exact moment? Hinata hummed to himself giving Tobio a knowing look.

'I wasn't talking about he-'

A loud moan escaping his mouth cut his sentence as the tongue pressed against his entrance. It was a competition once again, about who would be the filthiest. Kageyama ignored Hinata's whimpers, fingers wrapped around his own arousal.

There was something about Hinata's taste that made Kageyama not want to stop.  
It was salty and had a slight taint but nothing bad, in fact it was kind of sweet. He took a deep breath, Hinata smelled something between vanilla soap and his own scent. It wasn't the first time he was smelling him but now it was even more obvious, driving him crazy. How Hinata managed that, Kageyama would never know. It didn't matter.

The only thing on his mind were all the beautiful noises he can pull from Hinata's mouth.

  
‘F-Fuck Tobio. I- I wanna have- I want-’

  
Kageyama snickered before he kissed Hinata’s inner thighs. ‘What do you want?’ he hummed, blowing hot air against the pale skin.

  
Hinata took a moment before he talked again, his cock throbbing a little on the fabric of his t-shirt.

‘Sit here.’ He patted the verge of the bed. Kageyama opened his mouth, about to say something but Hinata was already standing up.

‘Yes.’

  
Kageyama sat, his hands crossed behind his back. Anticipation built in his chest waiting for Hinata’s next move. The magazine was next to the table. This fucking magazine.

  
‘What are you doing? I thought you were looking at me but it's okay if you don't. I'll just-’

‘No! Shouyou I wasn't- I was looking at you, only you, Shou.’

Hinata tried to hide his smile by biting his lip and sat astride Kageyama who immediately put his hands around his waist. Shouyou, his hand wrapped around Kageyama’s cock, rubbed his thumb over the reddish tip.

  
‘Your cock is so wet for me.’ He licked the saliva running down Tobio’s chin, Hinata rested a hand at the back of his partner's neck.

  
Kageyama nodded and glanced down. What kind of sorcery Hinata was using on him? Sure, he already knew Hinata was hot and a bit provocative but now it was much more. He thought Hinata was the kind of boy who would be bashful and awkward in bed yet he was the one sat in his lap, he was the one giving him pleasure.

  
‘Don’t close your eyes, I wanna see you coming. Look at us.’ Hinata smirked, his eyes down. Kageyama followed his eyes curiously he was way too focus on Hinata’s lips to notice anything.

  
‘Holy f-fuck,’ he moaned, throwing his head back. Hinata was firmly gripping their cocks, stroking them with two hands. Tobio felt his cheeks getting warmer, probably blushing at the gesture. It wasn't a big deal but it was the first time he was that close to someone and even if he didn't know how he or Hinata felt, he couldn't let go of him.

  
‘How do you feel Tobio?’

  
‘I d-don’t know.’

Tobio could barely talk, he was close to the coming, he could recognize that feeling easily, feeling his lower stomach building something he couldn't name but he loved it. Hinata definitely overwhelmed him he was sure of that. All he wanted at the moment was to feel Hinata’s heat against his skin.

  
‘Tobio, I know you don't trust yourself but I do. It's fast. It’s crazy. That's what we are, now that we're together. I may not make you a better dancer but I will make sure you enjoy being with me. I want you to stop worrying and trust yourself a bit more. Look at you, Tobio, you're a beautiful man, a prodigy, a precious person who doesn't know how awesome he is. You're not perfect but you're already so good just the way you are. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here together today. I’ve always dreamed of being a great soloist just as you but since we have started dancing together I feel like nothing else matters even when you were a total asshole towards me I was happy to know I’d got the chance to dance with you Tobio-’

  
Without any warning, Kageyama clung to Hinata’s shoulder, his breath getting louder at each pump.

‘I’m gonna... I’m gonna c-’

‘Come on, babe.’

With that, Kageyama started spurting, his eyes fluttering barely able to keep eye contact with Hinata. His dark blue t-shirt was now dripping Tobio’s and Shouyou’s cum.

  
Both were panting and drained, Hinata rested his head against Kageyama's chest, trying to catch his breath.

  
‘I care about you a lot, Tobio, don’t forget it.’

_  
And I care about you, Shouyou, more than you think._

  
Kageyama wrapped his hands around Hinata, hugging him tightly so Shouyou would know he wasn't going to leave. It was quite the opposite, his heart beating faster every time he was around Hinata.

  
‘Thank you… for being here.’

Hinata shook his head. It seemed like Kageyama wouldn't understand he enjoyed being around him. The words he knew couldn't describe how he felt toward him. It wasn't a painful crush anymore, they were making progress since they had started dancing together. Yet it wasn't love, not that fast. Just a strong desire to see Kageyama cheerful with him.

  
‘We’re so gross,’ Hinata chuckled staring at the filthy t-shirt Kageyama was wearing.

  
‘If you want, you can take a shower and borrow some clothes. Only if you want though, no pressure.’

  
Hinata immediately nodded, ignoring Kageyama’s worries. Of course, he would stay with him. They would spent the rest of the day together as always now when they had days off.

  
‘I’ll show you the way.’

  
Kageyama took off his shirt, tossed it in a corner of the room and walked Hinata to the bathroom. That morning had taken an unexpected turn, oddly pleasing Tobio. It had been intense and crazy but just as Hinata had said that was the way they were.

When the water started running, Kageyama went to look for clothes for Hinata. Many were too large or long for his friend, Kageyama being one foot taller than him. The smallest thing he owned was hidden in a drawer. With a shivering hand he grabbed the outfit and some underwear for Hinata before resting them on the sink of the bathroom.

  
The magazine was still on the floor and since Hinata wasn't here to keep Tobio busy, he thought he could just give it a quick look. It wouldn't hurt, right?

There were two pages about him, with some pictures back from high school. Obviously the first page was about him two years ago, about his relationships with his classmates and all his flaws. Obviously they felt the need to talk about the accident, why he stopped dancing duet and how egoistic he was.

_The 17- year-old dancer rejected everyone who wanted to dance with him. His strength being useless when he was only focusing on his performance, Kageyama could have been scouted by the best university and reach his goal to enroll the Paris Opera. The best ballet schools were more interested by the students who were polyvalent not the emotionless._

_After twelve years studying in the Royal Ballet Opera, the young genius moved back to America to study in North Carolina. Instead of going to a prestigious school such as the Paris Opera, the School of American Ballet or the Vaganova School of Russia, the Japanese ballerino had no choice but something less fancy. Thing may change this year for him though. The UNCSA organizes a gala every year to show off a little the talent of their students to the prestigious conservatories from all over the world. This year, the ballet course has planned three operas, from all of them Kageyama dances in the Dame aux Camélias. As always he has a role in the lead but this time with a newbie, Hinata Shouyou. The duet has already been called promising by their peers considering the chemistry between the two boys. Is it finally the time for a romance for the Japanese-American dancer?_

  
‘What the hell is that?’

  
Tobio took a deep breath rubbing his forehead. He knew it would ruin him and Hinata if he was messing up once again though they were a pretty good duet for the moment. Maybe he just had to trust hinata just as Tsukishima had said once with trust and chemistry, they could managed it.

  
‘You’re okay, Tobio?’

  
He turned his head to face to look at Hinata but was already tackled into a warm hug. He remained silent for a moment enjoying the comforting sensation of Hinata’s arms.

  
‘Oh ...you were reading it?’ Hinata asked, resting his chin on his partner’s shoulder.

  
‘I couldn't help myself,’ Kageyama muttered, looking at his hands.

  
Hinata pressed his lips against his cheeks. ‘It's okay Tobio. How was it?’

He didn't like the look on Kageyama's face, even if he knew his friend wouldn't stop thinking about that magazine, things could turn lighter for both of them.

  
‘It’s about me back in high school, they did me pretty dirty. An emotionless asshole who hates dancing with people, who has been rejected by the best schools just cause he's egoist.’

  
‘Do you believe them when they say that?’

  
Kageyama pursed his lips. Did he ? Though he knew it was did on purpose so he could feel even more down. It shouldn't had affected him.

  
‘Nah. It’s bullshit. Then they talked about us… our thing.’

  
Hinata smiled, pecking him on the lips. His fingers ran through the dark hair, his eyes locked on the blue one. Tobio was so beautiful , Hinata didn’t know what to say. Even if he wasn't social nor empathic, something in his gestures proving he wasn't tired of Hinata anymore. For Shouyou, communication wasn't only based on words, Tobio needn't put words on how felt towards people. Actually, he didn't care about words, most of the time they were lies but actions were usually speaking better than words. Kageyama had a different expression whenever Hinata was close to his face, eyes half closed and about to kiss. That view was just enough for him to prove everything Kageyama wouldn't say.

  
‘Our thing? Our relationship, you mean?’

  
‘Yeah. They know about the duet. They’re more positive about it than the one I had before.’

  
Hinata sat on his lap, snuggling up to his friend. A glance at Kageyama who was wearing a twisted smile. ‘What do you think about us?’

  
Kageyama took a moment to think about it which he had never really done before. The question echoed in his head again and again. How did he feel about his relationship with him? He didn’t know, Hinata wasn't as annoying as Tobio had thought. Of course he was clumsy but he had some skills he could exploit. Spending time with him was less a pain since they had talked during the Funfair, everything was being a bit better. It wasn't like the movies where people were proposing after two dates.

Talking about dates, they had never been to any. It wasn't a thing for them, not that their bond was based only on dance but they had no desire to do anything like actual dates. They spent their days together either dancing or watching ballet and it was enough. No need for fancy things between the guys. Now that Hinata was questioning their thing, Kageyama didn’t like it. Was it not enough? What could he do to make it better?

  
‘I just don’t know. If you're talking about how we work as a duet we’re good. You have it in you and it gives you the opportunity to dance with me in a duet which is cool for me as well.’ They gazed at each other for a moment, Hinata had a strong grip on him yet feelings weren't his forte so he went with something else. ‘With practice, I can make sure to give you exactly what you need to be among the best. With practice, you can claim you can beat me. ’

  
‘I’ll beat you. I will be the best dancer of the Paris Opera. What are you talking about?’ Hinata smirked, tugging Kageyama by his collar playfully, ‘ And with me, you’ll feel better with people, right?’

‘Maybe,’ he shrugged, ‘What I want for now is to feel better with my partner for the moment, nothing else matters.’

  
Hinata gave him a warm smile, it was most likely about the dance yet he wanted to believe Kageyama didn’t like him only for the duet though he wouldn't admit it. It was okay for him as long as he was with Kageyama he would improve and just as he told him, they would be together forever. Not only for this duet but also for later, they would fight to see who deserve the rank of best soloist but deep inside him, he was falling for Kageyama not only for the ballet but for the life.

 


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But then Kageyama didn't think a lot about his words and decided to blurt out the only thing he felt comfortable with. 
> 
>  
> 
> ‘If your question is would i be this close to anyone else in the class, it a no. Sure, I don't know a lot about feelings, friendships and such but I know one thing and it’s that I’m not comfortable with the others the way I am with him.’

                         

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Don't rain on my parade, it's gonna glow in the dark.  
_

 

_I like it better when you can't keep warm.  
_

 

_Don't ruin a perfect thing, a perfect thing.  
_

 

_The boy on the blue moon dreams of sun._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                         Just as every Monday, the first-year ballet dancers had to practice for three hours in the Suno studio. The first one was for their daily practice with Sugawara; the rest of the time was used to rehearse with Ukai.  

 

At ten, Kageyama was there stretching against a bar while the room was filling up with the students. Where was Hinata though? Probably late as always, he'd burst into the room in a few minutes when everyone would be standing in rows.  

 

Just when the thought crossed his mind, Hinata was walking into the studio. Tsukishima squealed loudly as the student was walking to the front row next to Kageyama. Everyone stopped what they were doing to see why Tsukishima was yelling like that.  

 

 

‘Hey, Tobio.’ 

 

 

Kageyama tilted his head at Hinata who was wearing a large smirk. Why was he still smiling like that? Obviously he always had a grin on his face but this one smelled weird. Was he dressed oddly? Kageyama checked. A large white t-shirt, a black short just as always too tight for him, if Tobio wanted he could have shoved his hand into them. His awful orange slippers were on his feet. So why was he smiling like that? That smile wasn't innocent.  

 

 

Wait. 

 

 _There was it._  

 

 

The milky thighs were covered with dark bruises and scratches.  

 

 

His cock twitched at the memory, those were from the day before when they were messing around in his room, when he had his head between Hinata’s thighs. It was where he could smell his odd scent and he could bite the tender skin. _Oh god please yes._  

 

 

‘You're okay, Kageyama?’ Hinata knew what he was doing, _this damn smug._ They gazed at each other for a moment. All Kageyama wanted was to erase this one look from Hinata’s face. With a quick look down, he stared at the bruised legs licking his lips unconsciously. His tongue would be perfect down there with those beautiful shorts on, he would rub his nose on it and…and. 

 

 

‘Are you spacing out _Petite Ballerina_? Are you letting those little hormones of yours taking control over you? I thought you were only focused on ballet not on how you would bang your _partner_.’ 

 

 

Kageyama stared at him, lips pressed in a thin line, eyebrows raised for a second before he shrugged. Who was Tsukishima to talk like that to him? _Nothing_.  

 

‘Says the guy who's get caught up bouncing on Kuroo’s dick more often than he goes to class. That's kind of funny, right?’ 

 

 

Hinata snickered a little while Tsukishima was glaring at them, hands on his hips yet his expression softened when they weren't looking at him anymore.  

 

In front of him, he noticed Kageyama mumbling something before he punched Hinata on the shoulder. It was probably something light since a few seconds after Hinata was the one punching him. Then they gazing at each other for a while saying nothing and Tsukishima swore it was something he would never forget just as the day when he saw Kageyama crying. Hinata had a content smile whereas Kageyama was just soft. Not the same soft as when he was going shopping for new dance supplies but another one. 

 

 Almost bashful to witness that intimate expression on his face, Tsukishima couldn't take his eyes off it. He felt satisfied with that, seeing Kageyama softening just for Hinata. Though it wasn't a large smile and kisses everywhere but Tsukishima knew he was trying. That wasn't the easiest thing for him when he had never been loved, even his parents weren't supporting him when he was studying in a prestigious school as the Royal Ballet School.  

 

 

For the first time he had someone who could give him all the love he lacked for years with time and trust, Kageyama could improve not only as an accomplished dancer but also as a person with emotions, capable of loving someone unlike what he had always thought. For that Tsukishima was glad that they had found each other when they needed it the most.  

 

‘Boys!’ Sugawara clapped his hands and the dozen of dancers walked to the center of the studio, all of them standing in rows just like they were always used to.  

 

This time it wasn't Akaashi who played the piano but Kuroo. It was pretty shocking to see him sitting still when he had his boyfriend wearing tights moving around him. Tsukishima’s athletic thighs would be wrapped later around his face but for now he was only focused on his sheets. Ready, he started playing while the dancers executed the adage directed by Sugawara.   

 

 

Just as always Kageyama was looking at the reflection on the mirror but it was different. Hinata was by his side, not struggling alone in the last row. Not that he was suddenly comfortable dancing among the others, this would be a lie. Yet Hinata was trying not for Kageyama but for himself. He wanted to be a more confident dancer. How was he supposed to the best soloist of the Paris Opera if he wasn't confident enough to dance with his classmates?  

 

 

‘Oh! Shouyou, you're in the front row! That's so awesome!’  

 

 

Hinata turned his head to look at him. It was Nishinoya, one of his favorite classmates in this college. Both were similar yet different, Nishinoya being more a contemporary dancer but following the ballet course to improve his grace. They didn't have many classes together except the Monday’s practice and anatomy class on Thursday night. Nishinoya was one year older than Hinata so the younger one never hesitated to ask him for some advice or spend time with him when he felt a little bit down. They were close enough to call each other by their first name, it was known by everyone that only close friends or significant others were each other like that. In this college, Hinata wasn't close to many people, he had Kenma and Yû. It was before he had met Tobio, whenever he had a moment of loneliness; Hinata could text him so they could dance together or just be in the same room cuddling in silence. Thanks to Tobio, Hinata believed he could dance in the front row instead of glancing at him from the back.   

 

 

‘Dumbass, focus.’ 

 

 

Hinata startled, losing a bit his balance because of the loud voice.  

 

 

‘Why did you do that, Kageyama? I almost fell!’ Hinata whined as Kageyama frowned a little uncomfortable.  

 

Once again, he knew he had messed up. Kageyama softened, his fingers stroking the orange fluff, his eyes avoiding the look from the other students. He didn't care about them; his problem at the moment was Hinata not what the others could think about them together. If Hinata seemed angry, upset with him, they wouldn't be efficient.  The best way for them to work is when they're okay with other.  

 

 

‘Sorry,’ he whispered. It was barely audible yet Hinata heard it, shook his head and gave him a small smile.  

 

 

‘It's okay.’  

 

 

With that, they were all back at dancing.  

 

 

According to the older dancers, the smaller classes just like this one were easier than the large studios where different years were mixed together. Kageyama could never erase all his memories from the huge studios in the Royal Opera, the echo of the feet bouncing on the wooden floor, the voice of his teachers always repeating the same formulas as if they had no other vocabulary. There was also Oikawa, his first hero, the _Prima Ballerina_. The one who haunted him for years, the one who was his role model, the one he considered as family for years, the one who basically treated him like shit for years and almost killed him. There was also Iwaizumi who had been there during all those years, he didn't have the same relationship with him as the one Tobio had with Oikawa but it was still something important. Maybe things would change. Maybe now that he's almost 19, he wouldn't be the same little boy as the one he was years before in the studios of his former ballet school.  

 

‘Guys let's finish with the following steps: _développé devant, à la seconde then derrière_. After that, I want you to _relevé devant_ and _pirouette en dehors_. Finally, I want two _changement de pieds_ , _pas de bourré_ and _attitude_.’ 

 

 

The dancers executed the sequence following Sugawara before them. They lifted their leg and then fully extended it outward, passing through attitude. Their extended leg moved forward then to the side and finally behind. Kageyama glanced at the mirror, his dark eyes met Hinata’s bright ones and they looked at each other for a moment while dancing. Hinata followed the movement, his body shivering and struggling. Of course it wasn't easy for him to be here where everyone could notice his clumsy steps but he tried. 

 

 _And god he was beautiful._  

 

It wasn't perfect. His nose crunched, hands shaking, orange locks moving along with him. His mouth wide open, he was on the verge of falling all the time.  

 

 

Yet there was something, his natural aura driving Kageyama crazy. Even his flaws had something making him angelic, as if he could fly, as if he could beat everyone who tried to dance better than him. Kageyama didn't even feel jealous of all the emotions Hinata could transmit through dancing because they were together. Both had their own qualities and had no reason to be jealous of the other. They weren't that childish to yearn the other since they knew they brought the best out of each. With Tobio, Shouyou was trying to be more confident. With Shouyou, Tobio tried to open his heart for someone. It wasn't a lot but at least he tried in his own way, he wanted to make sure Hinata understood they were partners and they had each other's back. That's what he wanted to believe, Hinata’s words as long as we’re together, we're invincible. They both said it. Maybe it was a real promise that no matter what happens to them, nothing could take them apart.  

 

 

Hinata noticed his expression, the one Kageyama held whenever his eyes ended up on him. Sometimes it was only a twist on his lips, a crinkle of his eyes or a reddish tint on his cheeks. It was an actual smile, soft but unintentionally, whenever they danced together, face close about to kiss each other. He may appreciate Hinata because he made him feel things, maybe it was because Hinata was the first person in years who made him feel alive.  

 

 

‘You're okay, Tobio?’ 

 

 

‘Yeah,’ he breathed out, trying to focus on the rhythm of the piano rather than Hinata. Why wouldn't he be okay? Of course he was okay. Hinata crunched once again his nose at the answer, he was probably pretending but Hinata decided it was better to just drop it. ‘You're not doing that bad today.’ 

 

 

Hinata grinned at the comment. What made him happy wasn't the fact that Kageyama complimented him because he wasn't but the comment in itself means it wasn't bad. So, his hard work was finally noticed with time. He nodded at Kageyama walking to the back of the room. After a quick look at him, he bent over the floor to grab his bottle of energy drink, his legs stretched, making sure Kageyama gazed at them. And he did, a shudder left his mouth as he stared at the pale muscles.  

 

They had a few minutes before the coach came. Kuroo whistled at Tsukishima who was busy talking with Yamagushi. Tsukishima turned his head, smiled at his boyfriend before he walked toward him. They were known to be a clingy couple; hands always holding, kissing, cuddling. It was always about the two of them, most likely because of their past together. Kuroo was more than just proud of his lover, seeing how he went from someone broken and unconfident to the man he was today after having known Kuroo for four years and dating him for two years almost three. He became stronger, standing chin high to look down at the others.  Some would have seen it as a condescending attitude which was wrong, Tsukishima had just blooming into his true self: A sassy yet caring man. 

 

‘Babe, you were so pretty. I want you.’ Kuroo tugged at Tsukishima’s shirt, dragging him into a mad kiss. His other hand cupped Tsukishima’s chin, having a strong grip on him as if he would run away from his hands.  

 

‘Which means I’m not pretty anymore?’ Tsukishima smirked which contrasted the offended expression on his face. ‘Thank you Tetsurou.’  

 

Kuroo shook his head, brought Tsukishima closer to him before he whispered.  ‘You’re not just a pretty boy, Kei, you’re breathtaking. If I could right now show you how good you make me feel, I’d do it.’ 

 

‘Oh! Oh! You would? How?’  

 

He bit his lip, already panting because of his boyfriend.  

 

‘I’d take you on this piano. Right now. I’d take you on this piano while all your little friends are staring at us.’ 

 

Tsukishima beamed at him as his lover wrapped his arms around his waist.  

 

‘Now you should go back there, I see your teacher coming in.’ 

 

He nodded giving Kuroo one last kiss before he headed to the back of the room. Ukai was already sat on his chair, calling Kageyama and Hinata to show their routine. Both glared at the other then smiled, walking in the opposite direction.  

 

 

 

Kageyama stood in the opposite corner of the room giving his back to Hinata. Kuroo started playing the piano, the whole room going silent, they had their eyes on them. 

 

They started back walking until their back bumped. Kageyama smirked when he heard the sound of Hinata’s breath close to him. Their hands caught each other, eyes meeting full of lust, both wearing a scornful expression. They were in their competition mode, looking for who was the dominant one, who had the most powers. 

 

When they started spinning across the room, Hinata crinkled his eyes into a filthy smile and met the dark blue before him. Although the entire class gawked at them, he wanted to show Kageyama he wasn’t weak, he was much better than people thought. He knew Kageyama already understood that since he was the one who told Hinata he should be more confident. But right now it wasn’t about the others and their opinions on them, it was only about Kageyama and Hinata. 

 

 

Both were panting loudly as their body moved languorously, hands staying longer than appropriate on inappropriate part. Kageyama felt his heart slamming against his ribcage; his hand ran against Hinata’s thigh and grabbed it. It was the second time they were dancing the routine in front of Ukai and the other students and this time it was different. Kageyama desired Hinata only for him, he wanted to make sure everyone saw Hinata was dancing with him and he wouldn’t dance with anyone else. It was crazy, filling his stomach and tickling him. 

 

 

Fuck, Hinata was driving him crazy, first with the outfit he was wearing showing his bruised thighs, now this, the way he moved, grinding against him.  

 

 

It felt so good to dance with Tobio. 

 

Kageyama lifted Hinata in the air and they held the same expression on their face, a large flush, both sneering. Pants left Hinata’s lips when Kageyama let his strong arms pinching his sensitive thighs. 

 

Then Kageyama closed his eyes when he felt Hinata’s hands brushing his cheeks. His hands grasped the ginger locks as he parted his lips, throwing Hinata’s head back.  

 

 

The steps came naturally, the sequence was already all printed in their head through the amount of practices they had done. Hands laced, eyes staring at each other, nothing else mattered anymore.  

 

They almost reached the end of the routine, both were panting as they fell on the floor. Kageyama smiled at Hinata, his hands clenching at his forearms dragging him closer to him.  

 

A warmth was spreading across his chest as Hinata was almost against his lips. With one hand, Hinata brought his forehead against Kageyama’s so he could kiss him. He had to kiss him right? He was just doing what he had to. Yet his face softened at Kageyama, just as each time they were close to each other, his heart slowing down when Kageyama let his fingers twirling his locks. Hinata could help the fond smile because of  this simple gesture from him, it reminded him of his mother when he was scared and felt like an outcast among his own friends. Hinata felt content as if even the moon was about to fall onto them, he would be safe thanks to Kageyama. It was cheesy he knew it but the thought was here and he didn't know what made him think things like that when he could just forget. Forget about everything, their classmates, Coach Ukai and just focus on his friend. 

Was he even his friend? weren't they more than just friends? They were not just two classmates, right? Since they kissed, cuddled and even had sex. Tobio had Shouyou. Shouyou had Tobio, at least if Tobio wanted him he would be there. They would be great partners.  

 

 

Kageyama didn’t want to move. He wanted to stay here dancing until exhaustion. Was it a bad thing ? Some said it was but he knew Hinata wouldn't care, maybe this was another reason that they hung out together because they had that deep bond over ballet.  

 

Hinata was the first one to kiss him whereas the entire class was clapping their hands at the sight. The cheers were loud as they were kissing desperately, panting in each other arms, teeth tugging at their lip. The coach stood up with his usual twisted smile, arms crossing over his chest.  

 

 

‘Guys, I’m not saying you're ready for the gala. You’re not even close… but this- This was alive. It wasn't exactly what I was expected but I’m oddly pleased by it. I want you to keep working together to show the other universities that we aren't just some lost wrecks and we are scary just as them.’  

 

 

Hinata and Kageyama stood up to thanks their teacher, both listened to the advice given by him. They still had many things to work on and they knew it, one month could never be enough to have the perfect duet. Which was the reason why they had two semesters to be perfectly ready, it was more than enough to find the right timing for them. Just as a pianist needs time to adapt to a new piano, Tobio had to adapt to his new rhythm with Shouyou.  

When he walked towards the lockers followed closely by his partner, Tsukishima called him out. His head did a movement to the side as he eyed Tsukishima. 

 

 

‘Yeah?’  

 

 

A smirk appeared on his friend's face who had his hand laced with his boyfriend. Tsukishima opened his mouth, ready to talk, but a pressure on his hips cut him out. He glanced down at Kuroo who pinched his hips, his chin resting on Tsukishima’s shoulder.  

 

 

‘Kei wanted to ask you if you two were coming to the party tonight?’ 

 

 

At these words, Kageyama bit his inner cheek. A party? He had never been invited to parties. Why would it change that day ? Mouth opened, he thought of something to say. Nothing appropriate left, Hinata was already grinning as a crazy brat. _Oh hell no_.  

 

 

‘Hell yeah we’ll come, right Tobio?’ Hinata nudged him and Kageyama shook his head at the gesture.  

 

 

‘Nah.’ 

 

 

Hinata crossed his arms over his chest, his foot tapping against the floor. ‘Why?’ he whined, his eyes narrowed at Kageyama who stayed silent for a moment.   

 

 

Tsukishima saw the great occasion, his chin rose as he sneered. ‘Right _Tobio, why_?’ he mimicked his classmate. 

 

 

‘I don't wanna go,’ he spat at Tsukishima while Hinata was silently glaring at him. He decided to avoid his pressing eyes and focus on the other moron, Tsukishima and Kuroo were plenty. Until Hinata talked again wearing the same expression as the blond dork.  

 

 

‘Whatcha mean by that? You're just a pussy Bakayama. A fucking pussy too prude for a par-tay.’ 

 

 

Kageyama gave a loud snort at the words, his cheeks warming of embarrassment. ‘A pussy? Me? A pussy? I’m not a pussy what the fuck do you mean by pussy?’ 

 

 

Hinata smirked, his head shaking at him. Kageyama seemed angry to say the least, a pout on his quivering lips. If Hinata had said that, it meant he was too prude for him. They had to collaborate, he had to more curious about what pleased his partner yet a party? It was everything but good, he was too awkward for that. Nothing good would result from him going to a party. 

 

 

‘That's right Kageyama. You're a pussy. But it's okay I’m not forcing you into anything, I’ll go to that party by myself or with another fri-’ 

 

‘I’ll go with you. Not that I’m jealous or anything cause I’m obviously not jealous but I’ll prove you I’m not a pussy.’  

 

 

Squealing, Hinata clenched his first running towards the lockers. The carton of milk Kageyama had given him just after the class was already dripping onto the floor because of his little bouncing onto the floor. Kageyama eyed him one last time before he turned his head towards Tsukishima and Kuroo. 

 

 

‘You'll be jealous, won't you?’ Tsukishima sneered again at him and walked out, closely followed by his boyfriend.  

 

 

Kageyama pursed his lips when he reached the lockers, his carton of milk brought to his lips, he let his mind wandered. Would he really be jealous if Hinata was going to the party with someone else? He didn't know nor wanted to.  That was not an issue since he said he would come. Just when he bit his cheeks, thinking he had made a bad decision, two arms wrapped around his waist and he felt a head resting against his back.  

 

 

‘Tobio’ Hinata whispered, peppering kiss on the naked skin. Kageyama quivered at the touch, eyes closing, losing the tenseness of his shoulders. ‘I’m sorry I shouldn't have said you were a pussy, I just wanted you to come with me at this party.’ 

 

 

Kageyama turned to face Hinata, his thumb brushing over his pale cheek. On the tip of his toes, Hinata buried his head in Kageyama’s neck. They remained like that for a moment, ignoring everything around them.  

 

 

‘So… you speak japanese?’ 

 

 

Hinata hummed, his hands lacing with Kageyama’s, memories of his childhood filled his head as he swallowed the lump built in his throat.  

 

 

 

‘Yeah. My mom taught me when I was younger then I studied it for years.’ 

 

 

 

 

‘So, you're Japanese.’ 

 

 

 

 

It wasn't a question nor an affirmation, just blank facts, just him processing the thoughts. It was the first time since Oikawa, Tobio had a japanese classmate and here it wasn't a simple classmate but his partner. He didn’t know how he felt at this moment, all he knew was how his body felt at this exact moment. Heart pounding, tight throat, Kageyama pressed his lips against Hinata's forehead.  

 

 

‘So are you.’ 

 

 

 

 

Hinata gave him a warm smile, gazing at him fondly. Kageyama leaned forward to kiss him, softly, his hands still cupping Hinata's face.  

 

‘ _Honto desu yo_.’   

 

 

 _That's true_. The words echoed in his head, everything at this moment was true, it wasn't some kind of dreams.  

 

When Kageyama raised his head again, he noticed Nishinoya staring at them. Caught up and embarrassed, they both turned their eyes, Nishinoya put on a clean et-shirt whereas Kageyama dropped Hinata to grab his clean sweater. His sweater on, he put his pair of comfy yoga pants which earned him a twisted smile by Shouyou who eyed his butt.  

 

He frowned a little when he recognized the oversized sweater Hinata was wearing. They looked at each other for a moment until Hinata shrugged, tugging at the fabric and let out an awkward chuckle.  

 

 

 

‘I-I took it cause it reminds me of you and I like you.’ 

 

 

 

‘Okay…’ Kageyama didn’t finish his sentence, instead he gave the thin letters sewed on the fabric. _Royal Ballet Academy_. None of that was a big deal, right? It’s just a goddamn sweater. Hinata was his… partner? It was just clothes, a piece of fabric. No reason to panic. Hinata glanced at him, bit his lip and turned his head, saying nothing.  

 

 

‘I’ll see you tonight Yû.’ Hinata grabbed his bag, eyed Kageyama who gave him his back and walked away.  

 

 

 

 

The sight churned Tobio’s stomach giving him no will to eat anything. Instead, he decided to run for an hour. He may had ended up running for two hours but nothing could erase the awful sensation in his guts.  

 

 

 _People like you can't love, Tobio. No one will ever love you for the simple reason that you don't deserve it._  

 

 

Kageyama stopped running, his head spinning, he took a strong grip at the fence before him. Out of breath, his eyes closed trying to steady himself, he swallowed hard, already pissed by everything around him. A moment after, Kageyama was crouched down, his stomach emptied onto the concrete. His quivering hand rubbed his brimming eyes, a sore sensation filled his throat as he cough, suddenly his body was cold yet covered his sweat.  

 

 

 

Ten minutes later, Kageyama was in his bed, covered with his heated blanket. His fingers were bruised after punching a trash bin on the way home out of frustration, his stomach was empty after throwing up out of the amount of confusion cumulated and his face was paler than usual, his cheeks were warm and he felt bad. 

 

Well bad was an understatement, it was way worse than just bad, enough to make him feel actually lonely. Kageyama wanted to have someone by his sides for odd reasons, anyone except Hinata. One person crossed his mind, not the best he was really far from being a nice guy, he was though the closest person to Kageyama after Hinata. He would obviously never tell him nor anyone. In his trance, he let his fingers type.  

 

 

 _Are you busy?_  

 

 

 

Soon after, his phone vibrated against his hand, he unlocked it and pursed his lips at the answer. 

 

 

 

 _What's going on, Kageyama? Aren't you with your Shouyou?_  

 

 

 

Kageyama frowned at his phone, shuddering before he started typing again, his fingers struggling to click on the keyboard. 

 

 

 

 _No I'm not with him. I'm just alone. but it's okay if you don’t wanna come here._  

 

 

 _I'm on my way._  

 

 

 

Kageyama released the breath he was holding when he read the text, holding his phone tightly in his hands. It was safe, he knew it, no more reason to be scared.  

 

 

 

 _Petite Ballerina, you're such a weird boy._  

 

 

 

 

Kageyama sighed, stood up to unlock the door then walked to the kitchen feeling his throat dry. He poured himself a glass of cold water before he headed back to his bed, laying on his stomach. He wasn’t actually upset with Hinata, not exactly with him but a mix of too many feelings, too quick, too soon, made Kageyama more than simply uncomfortable. It brought him down, thinking over and over about things he didn’t want to. Feelings, to say the least, weren't his thing. He used to forget about them, pretending he had no feeling and wouldn’t have any for anyone, even himself. Even know it was still difficult for him to imagine anything feelings-related, it was scaring the hell out of him, he was trying to make it work, to admit he was a normal human being with emotions and feelings.  

 

 

The knob clicked when the door opened, Kageyama turned his head to face his _friend_ who stood above him, hands on his hips. Both remained silent for a moment, their silent understanding making its magic once again.  

 

'Tsukishima...'  

 

'What's going on?' 

 

 

 

Kageyama frowned before he answered. 'I'm not happy.' 

 

 

 

Tsukishima pursed his lips, licked them and crouched down before Kageyama's bed  He fought the urge to spit a salty comment when he noticed the look on his friend's  face, lip shaking, cheeks red. What happened to him? Of course he didn’t look happy yet why did he call him out of all the guys in the class

 

'I know, Ballerina, but why are you not happy? What happened?' 

 

 

 

 

Kageyama opened his mouth, closed it and opened it, thinking of a way to say what was wrong with him, why he was a broken boy and why he kept being scared of enjoying life as people of his age would do.  

 

 

 

 

'I-I... I-Fuck!' 

 

 

 

 

 

Great, now he was stuttering in front of his best frenemy. Tsukishima would laugh and had all the reasons to do so. Kageyama closed his mouth, clenched his fists as his eyes closed.   

 

Yet Tsukishima stayed silent, he silently put off his glasses laying them on the side-bed table and grabbed Kageyama's blanket with one hand, slipping himself by his side.  

 

 

 

 

'What the fuck?' Kageyama whispered, facing Tsukishima who had his eyes on him already.  

 

 

 

'Shut up already.' 

 

 

Kageyama closed his eyes when he felt arms tackling him into an awkward hug. Tsukishima also closed his to avoid all awkwardness but mostly to give his friend time to form his thoughts. Though their friendship was the kind of unusual one, Kageyama knew Tsukishima was more than just his annoying, sassy dick of classmate, he was his friend, his only friend. Through his salty comments and taunts, Tsukishima was making sure, Kageyama would be okay. Some saw it as a rude attitude, even Tobio who wished to punch him way too often yet it was affection. Both were clumsy with their feelings, Tsukishima had his bad habits of pushing feelings away and pretending he never felt anything for anyone after years he was now a master of hiding feelings. Kageyama was different, he hasn't learnt the same process of how to love and hasn't been loved as much as what he deserved. 

 

After a moment, maybe a few minutes or even an hour -Tsukishima had no clue— Kageyama finally decided to show a bit of what he felt in his chest, the huge pang hurting him still fresh and hurting him, it wasn't through a long and boring rant but something typical of him. 

 

‘Hinata took one of my sweaters. It was my old uniform, he took it yesterday and I thought I got over it but seeing him wearing it reminded me of London and how much I was…’

 

 

_Depressed_

 

 

_Heartbroken_

 

 

_Distressed_

 

 

_Low spirited_

 

 

_Melancholic_

 

 

_Self destructive_

 

 

 _At the end of the rope_  

 

 

None sounded good enough for Kageyama. For that reason, just after he licked his dry lips, he went with something else more like him. ‘I wasn’t that happy about life and all those things coming with it.’

 

 

Tsukishima parted his lips slightly, about to say something yet he was wordless as if words wouldn't help, as if no matter what he said, Kageyama wouldn't get it, he wasn't smart enough to understand when someone was trying to comfort him through soft words. 

 

 

‘Oi Kageyama! We all know you’re not the happiest guy of the galaxy. I had no clue you had teeth until I saw you dancing with Hinata and you were smiling -well kinda smiling cause even when you smile you're creepy and weird. But do you know how you feel for Hinata?’

 

Kageyama crunched his nose as he tried to process everything. ‘I don't know.’

 

 

‘Maybe you're scared. Just like I used to when all i wanted was to suppress my feelings to make sure I wouldn't be hurt. Do you see him only as a classmate or more?’

 

 

‘We had sex yesterday, we cuddle a lot and kiss on the lips. Like real kisses. He has the ability to become one great dancer and maybe that’s selfish but I want to be there to witness-‘

 

 

 

Tsukishima snorted as he got closer to Kageyama by grabbing his skull and rubbed it with his fingers. ‘You know you're not answering me right now. Maybe it was a difficult question for you.’ 

 

 

‘If your question is would i be this close to anyone else in the class, it a no. Sure, I don't know a lot about feelings, friendships and such but I know one thing and it’s that I’m not comfortable with the others the way I am with him.’

 

 

‘And then maybe it’s because you like him or at least appreciate him. And with what I know about you, I’m sure you haven't told him anything about the Ballerina thing’

 

Kageyama shook his head before he glanced at his friend. ‘He already knows about the accident but not what triggered it.’

 

 

No one knew about the reasons which caused the _Petite Ballerina a_ ccident but many supposed it was because of Kageyama’s selfishness. No one had ever tried to understand him and pilled the rough skin covering him. Under this great amount of layers, Kageyama was still a baby who didn't understand people nor himself though he wanted to be just as them. It was difficult for people with empathy to acknowledge someone who just couldn’t. Kageyama was born like this with his emotionless way of life unlike Tsukishima who build his own hard shell so he wouldn't be hurt. 

 

 

‘I understand. I’m sure you can talk to him whenever you need though, he has been pinning on you for a moment even before you started dancing together.’ Kei smirked at him and his scowl. ‘You don't know what pinning means? It’s when you desire someone romantically. I mean you have romantic feelings for them, you think about them a lot, you want to spend more time with them, have physical contact with them -not all the time- but it makes you feel safe deep inside of you to be around them and you want to make them happy by your sides.’

 

 

‘Maybe I have a crush on him then…’ He closed his eyes again, burying his head in Tsukishima’s neck. ‘But he’ll end up hating me.’

 

 

‘He won’t Kageyama. You don't deserve to be hated. Okay, you’re dumb and a bit creepy but I can’t imagine him hating you. Out of everyone, he’s someone who has always supported you, he talked about you a lot because you were a prodigy with innate abilities. Even me, I don’t hate that you that much, I don't really dislike you, okay?’

 

 

Kageyama didn't understand him, what were they? Classmates? Tsukishima even being someone snarky had been here for him since they started college but Tsukishima never said anything about them and Tobio had no idea what was the nature of their relationship. Were they friend? Were they enemies? 

 

‘You’re my friend you stupid brainless idiot,’ Tsukishima grumbled as Kageyama pouted. Sometimes, people were so weird in their gestures and mannerisms that Kageyama had decided to forget about the way they were acting around him to focus on his own business. 

 

‘Anyway, you’ll come tonight to the party Tetsurou has organised and you’ll feel way much better,’ Kei sneered, standing up before he brushed his hands over his pants. 

 

 

 

Tsukishima put back his glasses, resting them onto the tip of his nose then blinked back at Kageyama who was pouring himself a cup of tea. The thick scent of the herbal beverage filled the room as Tobio walked back at him, his long fingers wrapped around the cup, long legs making their way to the living room and his _friend_ stood there. 

 

 

‘What? You wanted tea?’

 

 

 

Tsukishima snorted, shook his head and walked to the door, scoffing at Tobio’s obliviousness. With one last look across the room, he let out a muffled chuckle, noticing how bad organised Tobio was as he dodged the mess scattered on the floor, the pounding of his feet against it vibrated on the disorganised surface. 

 

 

 

‘I guess he didn't want tea.’

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

A few hours later, Tobio was strolling inside Kuroo’s loft, his head filled with many questions. 

 

The first one was: _How is it possible for a student to afford such a huge place to live when university costs more than the price of a kidney and a lung?_ Even Tobio had to pay a lot although he saved a lot of money thanks to the fees he had received whenever he danced for a ballet representation but it was just enough for a spacious apartment, not a loft. 

 

 

The second question crossing his mind was: _Where the hell is Hinata?_

He had been looking for him for almost twenty minutes and was apparently nowhere to be found as well as Tsukishima, Nishinoya, Yamaguchi and the other students he knew. 

 

 

The third question was: _Why are they all drinking alcohol when they have to practice the day after?_

Alcohol sounded weird and unhealthy so he had never seen any point of drinking because he had heard somewhere that the effects of it lasted even the day after and if he wasn't able to dance then it was useless. 

 

After a few minutes dodging those who were already drunk, touching each other in the middle of a corridor, Kageyama reached the living room. Well if this was a living room. Some guys from the orchestra course were sat on the floor, sipping their beers, joking around for no real reason. Then from afar, he recognised the loud voice of his _partner, crush, friend, classmate,_ whatever was the label, he just heard Hinata and his heart was already going crazy. Tobio moved towards the spot where not only Hinata but also guys from his class were sat, Yamaguchi was the first one to greet him then there was Hinata holding a weird thingy in his hands, jabbering as he hugged him tightly.

 

 

‘Hey Toby,’ he giggled, leaving a sloppy kiss on Kageyama’s cheek. 

 

 

‘Oi Hinata are you okay? Have you cried?’ Tobio rushed as he patted his shoulder, voice lowered. ‘Hey?’

 

 

A giggle left Hinata’s mouth again, hand tugging at Tobio’s hoodie before he dragged him to the place where the others were gathered. Letting out a loud sigh, Kageyama sat by Hinata’s side and nodded at Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, Akaashi, Kenma, Sugawara and Sawamura. By the time he finished greeting everyone, Bokuto, Tsukishima and Nishinoya joined the group of guys, chatting together. Hinata snuggled up to Kageyama who remained silence while accepting the embrace, he was still glaring at the weird object Hinata was holding. 

 

‘What’s that?’ He pointed out at the object, his eyebrows furrowed. 

 

‘This thing?’ Hinata twitched his lips in something close to a smirk yet pretty far from it. ‘It’s a bong.’

 

 

 _What the hell is a bong?_ Kageyama remained silent so he wouldn't sound even more stupid than what he was already but keeping his eyes on the object curiously. Tsukishima must had guessed his thought as he crouch down next to him and whispered something. 

 

‘It’s a thing to smoke weed.’ 

 

 

Weed? But weed was drug, right? Kageyama licked his lips before he reached the bottle of  diet coke to pour himself a full glass of it and drank the entire beverage. Tsukishima gave him small look, sitting next to him and took the blunt Kuroo was holding to draw on it. Wait, really? Tsukishima smoked? Kageyama tried to avoid his shock by checking the hour on his phone, biting his lips madly. Hinata leaned towards his pipe, brought it to his mouth as his free hand struggled with his lighter. When he finally managed to use his lighter, he inhaled and blew before him a huge cloud of smoke, Kageyama observed silently even more curious. Hinata must had done it often, wondering the reasons why he was taking drugs even if it was a strong one it was still something he didn't expect from him. Sugawara gave the guys a lingering look before he brought his glass to his mouth. 

 

‘Let’s play a truth or dare!’ 

 

 

Bokuto, apparently already tipsy, eagerly nodded as if it was the best idea of the year. 

 

 

‘Who’s first?’ 

 

 

Sawamura ended up being the first, picking the _safe choice_ when he mumbled ‘Truth.’ An enthusiastic Kuroo, tightened his grip on his boyfriend then with his wide smirk he asked. 

 

‘What’s the hottest thing you've done during sex, Daichi?’ 

 

 

It didn't take him too long before he answered, leering with his cheeks red. 

 

 

‘Watersport.’

 

 

Everyone around him gasped whereas Tobio remained blank saying nothing. Why was he aroused by underwater sports? He shrugged before he glanced back at Hinata who was smoking once again. 

 

 

‘Wanna try it Babe?’

 

 

‘Nah.’

 

Tobio scowled at the word, ignoring his heart quickening at the pet name not noticing Tsukishima who wore large smirk on his lips. Kageyama smoking weed for the first time? It sounded like a must-seen experience, shifting from his seat to crouch next to his friend, Tsukishima ran a hand through his hair and sneered. 

 

‘Oh, _you wanna try it Babe_?’ he mimicked with his eyes on the glass material. ‘It’s just a one time thing but it’s only if you give it a shot.’

 

 

Kageyama took a moment to think of it. Was it actually a bad idea? One try wouldn't hurt and if it wasn't good at all, he would have tried before at least once. He couldn't deny how curious he was about this thing making Hinata this cheerful, maybe the weed wasn't even the reason why yet it was too hard not to be intrigued by this practice. 

 

 

‘Okay. How do you use this thingy?’

 

 

Hinata wore a triumphant grin as he brought the bong towards Kageyama’s mouth. ‘You’ll have to hold it, take a long drag before blowing it. Don’t blow it immediately though, it’d be a waste of weed and i can’t afford any waste, okay Tobio?’

 

 

Kageyama seized the object before bringing it to his mouth waiting for Hinata to light his lighter near it. As he inhaled, Tobio closed his eyes, filling his mouth with smoke before he breathed out, choking because of the awful taste and the way it made his throat itchy. Tsukishima soothed him in his way, lightly patting his back as his friend was coughing. It’s something usual to cough like that when you smoke for the first time.  Kageyama nodded when he had finished coughing making sure he heard the clicking of the lighter, leaning forwards to take another drag, this time coughing less. He took another drag then gave Hinata the bong and collapsed on himself, practically laid on the floor. His throat was dry, he wanted to drink, well he actually needed to drink, he raised his hand shaking it briefly in the air and mumbled something no one understood.  

 

 

 

‘How are you Tobio?’ Hinata glanced at him with a worried look as Kageyama closed his eyes taking in a deep breath. 

 

 

‘I’m perfectly fine. Well I’m kinda thirsty apart from that I’m okay.’

 

Hinata shrugged, sometimes Tobio was really a weirdo, someone difficult to understand yet it was good to have him by his side for this party. It must have been hard for Kageyama to agree to go to a part, for some it was an easy deal but everyone in the room could bet it was the first time Tobio was going to a part. So despite he was slouched against Hinata’s arm, Hinata was satisfied to see Kageyama trying to socialise. 

 

 

‘Bokuto, truth or dare?’

 

 

The latter wore his usual cheerful face as he looked at the guys around him. ‘Dare! Who do you think I am? A pussy?’

 

Hinata scratched the back of his neck before he said. ‘Okay then Kuroo, put that candy in your mouth and Bokuto will have to unwrap it.’ 

 

 

What? Tsukishima turned his head quick enough to make it crack, what the hell did he hear? Bokuto wouldn't touch his lover, his boyfriend, put his tongue inside his boyfriend’s mouth. It was unbelievable. It wouldn't happen. 

 

 

‘No! Tetsurou can’t do something like that, I’m his boyfriend, he can’t just kiss a guy in front of me!’ 

 

 

Hinata shrugged, there was honestly no reason for Tsukishima to whine like that. It wasn't a big deal, it wasn't as if his boyfriend had to fuck Bokuto or something similar. ‘Well, then you can leave the room.’

 

 

Something unusual happened at this moment, first, Tsukishima scoffed, genuinely hurt by those words and more surprisingly, Kageyama chuckled. It wasn't a snicker or a sneer under his breath, it was a genuine laugh  coming out of his mouth, with a lazy grin and eyes screwed. And 

 

 

‘What’s going on? You’re okay?’ 

 

 

‘I’m perfectly fine Shou… Sit on my lap, I wa- I need to kiss you.’

 

 

Kageyama lift him before he answered, mouth wide open in shock. His stomach felt so light because of him, the nickname, the smile, how blunt he was in front of the other guys. Hinata knew he was falling for him, if it was not the case already, but now it was even more obvious as he felt Kageyama kissing him, mouth wide open drooling here in the middle of the room. When they parted, Tobio rested his head against Hinata’s forehead. 

 

 

‘You’re beautiful, Shouyou. I love having you here in my arms, it makes me feel safe.’

 

 

An eyebrow raised, Tsukishima eyed Kageyama ignoring his boyfriend's calling him out. Kageyama was definitely stoned, it was funny to see him in this position, half laid on the floor, cradling Hinata in his arms and being all clingy. The Tobio he was seeing was a softer and more confident version of himself, like a regular human, he was smiling, showing emotions.  

 

 

‘What’s that look Kei?’

 

 

Tsukishima remained silent a moment and glared at Tetsurou who was busy _hugging - more like cuddling-_ Bokuto _,_ his chest tightened at the sight. They were ridiculous together, it was not the time to cuddle especially before your boyfriend. But Kei didn't care, he wasn't a brat, right? Beside, he was way better than Bokuto, he was cuter, he had softer hair, lovely freckles on his back and he was a good boyfriend. Then why was Tetsurou cuddling with Bokuto instead of cuddling with him? Probably because he wasn't that good, because he would never be good enough for him. Even if Kei tried, he would never be good for him. It worked this way and nothing else would change, never. 

 

 

‘Tsukki, you’re all right?’ Yamaguchi whispered as he wrapped his arm around Tsukishima’s waist who looked at him, biting his bottom lip. ‘I’m here. You know you can talk to me whenever you need?’  

 

 

Tsukishima quickly nodded before he rested his head against his childhood friend’s shoulder. If it was for someone else, he would get mad because of the nickname and the fact that Yamaguchi was holding him tightly. They were very close so it was okay for them to touch, well it was okay for Yamaguchi who has always been pretty clingy and Tsukishima got used to it after years of friendship. More than that, having Yamaguchi near him ended up something he could stand, something making him somehow better though he would never admit it. As Tadashi rocked him softly against his chest, Kei glanced at Sugawara and Sawamura sat on the couch talking to each other, it looked more like they were actually flirting if Kei and Tadashi had to be honest. 

 

 

Daichi was chuckling at one joke Koushi made, pointing at Kageyama and his ridiculous posture when Koushi rested his hand on his thigh way longer than the appropriate time, not that it bothered him, it was quite the opposite and this shouldn't happen. They were friends for a long time, both passionate about art, they have known each other since kindergarten when Koushi started his ballet class and Daichi started painting. 

 

Years weren't enough to part them, the bond they shared got bigger with time causing them to be perfectly happy together throughout this long friendship. 

 

It was okay for Daichi to always hang out with Koushi, some would probably get tired of staying with the same guys all the time but it was perfect for him, each occasion they had to be together, even if it was only to talk for ten minutes while rushing to eat lunch between two classes or just Daichi sat on a chair in the back of the studio as Koushi was dancing, sometimes he liked to imagine him actually dancing for him. 

 

Yet it was ridiculous, best friends don't dance for each other, they should just do _friends-stuff_ like drinking beers together and talking about the hot people on the campus. 

 

 

 

‘Daddychi,’ Sugawara whispered as he lightly punched him. He smiled lazily and hugged Daichi closing his eyes when he felt the muscular arms around him. 

 

 

‘Suga, are you drunk?’ 

 

 

‘Maybe yeah but I’m mostly happy you’re here.’  Daichi tightened his grip on Koushi smiling as he remembered what he said. _Happy because you're here._ If Sugawara knew how much Daichi was actually happy whenever he was with him and trying to ignore the wound in his chest because he knew his best friend, unlike him, just enjoyed their friendship and nothing more. 

 

 

Stood up, Hinata turned his face to look at Kageyama. Finally, the speakers were blasting good music, he bet it was Kuroo who had put this old album of David Guetta, the best one in Hinata’s opinion. He wanted to drag Tobio to dance with him but his partner was laid on the floor, smoking someone’s blunt probably Tsukishima and he looked too tired to stand up and go dance with him. Kageyama dancing something other than ballet? 

 

One of the biggest joke of the entire galaxy yet Hinata was now thinking it wasn't that impossible, this situation could maybe happen, since Kageyama was actually smiling at this moment and it was something unusual so maybe in his trance he would dance. Okay, Hinata guessed he was not even able to stand up and walk. It wasn't a problem though, he would dance alone. 

 

 

And now Tobio shifted from his seat, taking a more comfortable position and gazed at Hinata. He watched as Hinata ran his hands over his body, over his tight clothes and moved his hips in rhythm with the song. 

 

 

An obnoxious tune, a loud beat getting bigger and bigger just as the pace of his heart. No word could define how he currently felt. For once, his mind was at ease, only his heart slammed against his ribcage, the reminders about how a useless trash he was. Maybe it was nothing, just the aftermath of the drug use but he wanted to believe it wasn't about that, something else filling his chest and mind with better thoughts, with better desires for his future. 

 

Thanks to Shouyou, Tobio was actually trying to talk more. Since this _dumbass_ seemed to enjoy people’s presence around, he supposed maybe he could try to befriend more people, the word _pussy_ would no longer leave Hinata’s mouth. At the same time, he didn’t to waste his time with people as long as he had Hinata or Tsukishima, he could talk with the other students but it was useless. Why was people supposed to talk to other and socialise? Yawning, Kageyama thought otherwise. All he cared about was this hot dork dancing in front of him, this beautiful idiot who knew how to be the perfect tease after weeks of dancing together, he still emanated his dominant aura whenever he danced with Kageyama. 

 

_And god, it was driving Tobio crazy._

 

 

It had been a long day for him. _A long day of constant teasing by Shouyou._ Bringing those booty shorts with the evident marks of their morning before was already a lot but the way Hinata had been dancing the entire day was the icing on the cake. Was it too much to ask Hinata if he could wear something less taunting? Because if Kageyama really listened to his inner voices, he’d jump on him to eat him out because he could and he would. 

 

 

Kei cradled in Tadashi’s arms could, obviously, put the blame on the alcohol or on the use of drugs to pretend he wasn't aware of what was going on. He could pretend he didn't notice the way Tadashi didn't blink, remained in a religious silence before he licked his lips making sure Tsukishima knew what was going to happen and gave his consent. 

 

Kei could blame everything, his boyfriend cheating on him, a feeling of insecurity, a need to feel loved, all the alcohol and drugs on Earth yet he knew he’d regret everything the day after. _He knew it. Tadashi was supposed to be only a friend right? So why was he kissing him?_ Why did he agree to this because it wasn't just skin to skin, even a toddler could understand that, it was a connection of heart through a physical gesture. 

But then again, he decided to ignore all these facts, crushing his lips onto Tadashi’s, embracing him. 

 

 

_And damn, it felt so good._


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ●A frustrated Lance kept banging at the door, he couldn't understand why Keith was upset when he was the who betrayed him. Then after, he was the one yelling at him for no reason. Lance frowned, that’s why he never trusted anyone. ●
> 
>  
> 
> ◦Everyone stared as Tsukishima stood up, calm voice, the worst, walking to the door.○

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! First sorry for the late update but I had to think over and over until I wrote this. 
> 
> I'm also sorry it's still angsty angsty
> 
> And I'm sorry for destroying everyone's heart like that. 
> 
>  
> 
> ps: I don't hate Kuroo or Bokuto, everything is supposed to probably maybe eventually get better. 
> 
>  
> 
> Don't forget to share and leave a comment if you liked, hated or anything, enjoy it!

_How much do I have to wait_

 

_How many nights do I have to stay awake_

 

_To see you_

 

_to see you_

 

_To meet you_

 

_To see you_

 

 

 

 

 

                            Lance was standing in the entrance of his bedroom, arms crossed and silently waiting. Frowning, his lips pursed unintentionally as his eyes shifted from the wooden floor to a random spot in front of him. Unsure, Keith bit his lip, folding his hands behind his back, and avoided eyes contact with Lance. He didn't even know why he was scared, maybe the look on his friend’s face, maybe the way Lance was standing oddly silent unlike his usual cheerfulness or it was the fact that his bag was laid next to Lance’s feet. 

 

They remained both silent, facing each other, scared of the consequences of their words. Keith decided to ask first, it couldn't be something that bad. They had made a promise, Lance had said he wouldn't give abandon him. 

 

 

 

‘W-What’s going on?’

 

 

Lance shook his head, laughing bitterly as he rummaged in his pocket before he showed Keith hand his hand. A syringe, a small one in the dark palm. 

 

 

Keith scowled, trying to avoid being noticed for his expression. He felt so dumb, so fucking dumb. He thought he had hid it but as always he did it as an amateur, an idiot and now he was there like a dumbass unable to say anything to defend himself. 

 

‘You’re a fucking junkie Keith! I understand now why you said you were kicked out because you can't control yourself.’ 

 

 

Lance glared at Keith with this disgusted expression on his face as if he was worthless, as if he was just a nasty piece of trash. This stupid guy assumed that even before Keith could talk and explain himself and it was pissing him off. 

 

 

‘What the fuck are you talking about, Lance-’

 

 

‘Shush. I thought we were friends and friends trust each other they don’t drag their friends in their bullshit.’

 

 

Lance frowned before he threw the syringe onto the floor, the small object cracking when it reached the wood. Keith felt his heart arching at those words, it hurt. Lance hurt him and he didn’t even try to listen to him. As always he was being stubborn, as always Lance was never listening to him, he always had to be the one right in everything but here, he wasn’t. Once again, Keith was blamed for his issues. The thought sent a shiver down his spine throwing him back to the day he’d been kicked out of his last foster family. This day when he couldn't stop thinking of the punch he could have give his foster father. No word could explain how angry he was inside and how much he wanted to punch Lance because this guy who's supposed to be his friend didn’t want to believe him or even listen to him. 

 

 

‘Why are you acting like that? Huh! I was the one who thought we were friends and you don't even listen to me! How am I supposed to feel about that huh? That’s what pisses me off about you. All the time, you have to win, to have the last word when you don’t actually deserve it. You’re not always right, sometime you just need to f-fucking listen to the other instead of pretending you’re not actually selfish.’

 

Lance glared at him, opened his mouth a moment before he gave him one weak riposte. 

 

 

‘I- I am not selfish.’

 

 

Keith scoffed, his eyes rolling as he grabbed his bag. He gave Lance one last look before he hid into the bathroom. Feeling exhausted, he let his back slide down against the door and wrapped his arms around his legs. Lance hated him right now. Obviously he was. But it was okay because Keith also hated him. Keith hated Lance and he hated himself. Though, he’d thought they were both doing okay together, it was apparently one-sided. Their bond wasn't strong enough for him to basically trust him on something like that and this disappointment overwhelmed Keith, leaving him half empty. 

 

 

A frustrated Lance kept banging at the door, he couldn't understand why Keith was upset when he was the who betrayed him. Then after, he was the one yelling at him for no reason. Lance frowned, that’s why he never trusted anyone. 

 

With time, people showed their true face, their real mind. Keith was nothing more than just a junkie, he knew that and that was why he shouldn't have showed any pity for him. 

 

 

 

Yet he still felt something inside of him, aching in his chest, thoughts he shouldn't have. Whenever he got home early, he’d notice Keith sat by the window wall, chewing on his pen as his finger would run against the thick paper of a random book. His eyes would shift from the book to the dance studio where one pianist would tinkle on his instrument as the dancers would move along with the rhythm of the melody. Lance would stand, back against the wall for some long minutes, Keith would pretend he didn’t see him as he frowned deeper at his book and rest his head against the window, the shadow of a smile appearing on his lips. 

 

 

Maybe it wasn't guilt building inside of Lance but it was close to that though he would never admit it, he wasn't the type of guy who admit this type of thing, not that he was a coward or anything. Never. He just didn't want to give Keith this pleasure to know how he felt when he was the victim in the argument. Giving a shelter to someone fucked up like Keith was definitely wrong, but maybe, maybe he should've let him explain himself properly instead of assuming things and triggering all this mess. 

 

 

 

‘I’m not a fucking junkie.’

 

 

 

Keith kept mumbling the same sentence as if it was an invocation. With that, Lance stopped banging at the door, letting his hand on the door, saying nothing before he sighed out of frustration. 

 

‘Fuck you Keith,’ Lance whispered tilting his head to the side. He didn’t know what else he could say and it was already driving him crazy. 

 

Elizabeth was walking out of her bedroom when she saw her brother, stood in the corridor, frowning. What the hell was he doing here? He didn’t even greet her when she passed by him. And where was Keith? Oh, she understood as she slowed down her pace, giving Lance a glance, noticing him pouting. Yet if she talked, it could probably worsen the entire situation so that was why Elizabeth walked down the stairs even though the sight of her brother looking depressed hurt her, Lance and Keith had to take care of their drama together rather than have her trying to talk when she didn’t know the reason of their drama. 

 

 

When she left, Lance cursed once again whereas Keith remained silent, as always. 

 

 

 

As always Keith was saying nothing, it was like that all the time, either silent, barely talking or yelling. Keith had no in-between in Lance’s opinion, he was only all black or all black, either sad, angry or emanating joy and pure gayness. It was especially frustrating right now because they had both a great day, Lance had taken with his sister about her illness and Keith texted him, making him laugh and everything was so great until this. 

 

Sometimes, it was only something small growing, again and again until it crushed everything in its way. Sometimes, Lance couldn't help it, as if he had to ruin every little thing he cared about to feel something, probably, to feel alive. By ruining a bond, he felt like he had someone who cared about him, who could've given him love and who would obviously do everything to keep him by their side. Some would say it was ridiculous, right? But for Lance it wasn't like that. He’d push people away then regrets and felt completely guilty. It wasn't even something he did on purpose, it was a mechanism he got used to with years. 

 

 

 

After a moment, Lance couldn't say if it was one hour or just a few long minutes, he crouched down leaning against the wall next to the door. Maybe he should go back to his room and nap until his Mama called him for dinner. It was probably a bad, bad idea, his Mama would immediately notice how their attitude has changed in only a few hours and as always, she would try to understand what was the reason of their argument or at least why they weren't talking to each other like normal friends do. 

 

Sometimes, Lance was scared of his mother, even though she could be the best woman in the world, an incredible mother and worker, she could be a perspicace person who noticed in everything the lies and the littlest differences from the previous situation. Just like when he was 6 and he pretended he had worked throughout the year until she caught him drawing instead. Obviously, it wasn't a big lie though he had always pretended he was a good student, listening to his teachers and writing his lessons but something was missing in his class, it wasn't enough for him. Class bored him, only the art one made him feel the thing missing in his chest.  Emptiness was a feeling he was used to. To see his mother worry over his own drama was exactly the type of thing he avoided, she was already spoiling him a lot, it was definitely too much if she started looking at what was wrong in his personal life. 

 

At this moment all he felt was this intense frustration in his guts, the one he had always wanted to avoid but ended up trapped into it anyway. Lance wanted to bang again at the door until Keith open however he knew it wasn't a good idea at all since his friend was already mad and if we had the fact that Keith was easily frustrated, letting it go _, at least for now,_ was probably the best solution he could think of. 

 

His phone in his hands, he scrolled through his photographes, smiling a little when he found one from the day before when they were at the funfair. A Keith wearing a cocky half smile, arms crossed over his chest as he sucked on his lollipop and Lance was smiling as usual, all teeth outside and they were having a good time together. He secretly hoped they would have more times like this one because just the little action of Keith curving his lips upward made Lance content. Despite his messed up lifestyle, Keith deserved happiness and the more he'd smile, the better Lance would feel. Maybe one day, it wouldn't be something rare anymore, it would just a part of Keith existence just as his cocky attitude and his bad mannerisms. 

 

 

His head tilted to the side when he put down his phone. The door next to him clicked and it couldn't anyone else than Keith unlocking it. And Lance was right, the door opened a little enabling him to see part of Keith's face. They faced each other for a moment silently and Lance thought maybe he should talk first as a mature person, it would probably be the best idea, right?

 

 

Just when he walked closer to the door, his hand on the knob, it opened wide with Keith rushing out of the bathroom at the moment when Lance opened his mouth to talk. _What was wrong with him?_

 

 

 

'Wh-where the hell are you going Keith?'

 

Keith turned his head and gave Lance a sad glare. 'Somewhere I won't be judged for no fucking reason. Somewhere I'll be able to breathe without seeing your scornful stupid smirk.' 

 

No! Keith couldn't leave like that! Lance and him had to talk and everything. They couldn't just stay in this mess, in this ugly situation where they were both mad at each other and couldn't talk properly. He had to do something for once because even if Keith could be a dumbass, he was his friend and friends talk when there's a problem between them. Lance started running after him as Keith rushed down the stairs, cursing under his breath all his thoughts about this stupid guy. 

 

 

'Fuck off Lance!' he yelled as he crouched down, in the hallways, to lace his shoes. Glaring at Lance, he waited for him to whine once again. His hands shivered, struggling to look stable when he was trying too hard to be calm. He was furious at himself because only a dumb amateur forgets to tidy their own mess. This whole argument over syringes was ridiculous, it could've ended a long time ago instead it kept lasting because both were too stubborn to listen to each other and right now, Keith just wanted to stop yelling at Lance but it was too much for him. 

 

This entire pointless argument hurt him even more than he thought. Maybe because he cared about Lance and felt hurt to be treated like that by a friend, _his only one._ But all he wanted now was some space for himself, a moment to think about everything and probably come back later with his head better. 

 

'Pl-please don't leave me,' Lance frowned, almost begging, his voice so low, Keith felt his chest tightening. No, he wouldn't give up such easily. Lance hurt him, for that he'd wait before seeing Keith again. 

 

After one last look at Lance, Keith left the house, leaving Lance in the middle of the hallways, agape and frustrated. Both had a long day, Lance had his own problems with his sister and Keith also struggled by himself, so yes, he needed time alone. Even if it was in this small town, he knew nothing about, he had to breathe again to feel better because seeing him again. 

 

So Keith walked, again and again until he got exhausted, stopping apparently near a lake, badly-lit only by a food truck parked by its side. He glanced at his phone, _8 PM,_ his stomach grumbled as he walked towards the vehicle, he tried to ignore his phone vibrating in his pocket since he knew who was calling him and didn't want to answer at all. 

 

Making his way to the restaurant, Keith shivered a little at the cold breeze slamming on his face, he wrapped his arms around his thin body in a desperate tentative to get hotter. It would probably be better after a hot drink but for now, he accepted the smallest heat he could get as if it was a treasure. Even his small hands were shaking with the cold wind but it was okay, Keith was used to be cold all the time wearing multiple layers of clothes keeping him somehow a bit warm yet it was never enough. Maybe it was because of his thinness, his body could never keep its heat or maybe his health. Keith stopped trying to think and focused on something else. 

 

 

A woman in her late forties was taking care of the food truck by herself. She wasn't old, face full of wrinkles but there was something in her that made her look old. Probably the apron she was wearing around her waist, her warm smile worthy of a great grandmother or even her soft voice, low yet cheerful making Keith feel sort of welcome here when he wasn't anywhere. 

 

 

She turned her head when she heard her high chair creaking when Keith sat on it. 

 

'Good evening, what can I serve you?'

 

Keith took a moment to stare at the menu, his eyes shifted from one meal to another, his stomach grumbling, until he found what he would please him. Since Lance's mother gave him money after he had helped her ate the bakery, he could easily buy something satisfying instead of stinting himself for once. 

 

'I'll take your Warm Quinoa Bowl.' 

 

She nodded quickly before heading back to the kitchen humming some song under her breath. Keith looked up at the sky above him and smiled a little despite the turn his day has taken. It was beautiful and he felt thankful to see such a beautiful starry sky when he was used to the grey polluted sky of New York. He was here in this beautiful city and it hurt him that he couldn't enjoy it with Lance, with his only friend just because of a dumb misunderstanding. He hated this situation madly though he wouldn't be the one who make the first step. Obviously, they would talk but Keith needed time to actually process all his thoughts otherwise he would get angry and throw hate at Lance for no reason. So he waited again and again trying to think about something else, about his delicious meal, his empty stomach, the nice woman serving him food or how amazing Susannah was with him but instead he kept thinking about how frustrated he was because of Lance's childish behaviour. 

 

'Here for you, enjoy your meal,' the woman said when she put the plate before him. 

 

 

He nodded and smiled a little as he grabbed his fork, 'Thank you.'

 

While eating, Keith closed his eyes and chuckled at his own dish remembering the day when Lance fell asleep on his plate when Hunk cooked his excellent Fish Salad. The dish was so spicy and heavy that Lance couldn't even make it to the end of the dinner. They had to carry him to bed because of how tired he was that day and this was one good memory, something he wanted to keep in mind and never forget. Keith wished he wasn't alone but with his friend if everything wasn't as messed up as it was presently. They would chat, laugh along together and it'd feel much better than just Keith, by himself, eating, frustrated at everyone and everything. 

 

When he finished eating, Keith walked to the lake and sat on one rock, letting his legs swinging. Pouting, he took his phone, launching Clash Royale, he pretended to feel good, here in this place where he could hear the wind pushing through the branch of the willow above him. 

 

 

What he didn't expect was to see Lance here desperately looking for him and yelling his name all around the city. He had been after him for at least one good hour and a half, in his mother's car wandering in the town as a lost dog. It was impossible that Keith would've left the village, even in his trance, there was no way for him to run from the village since there was no transport and Keith didn't know it at all. But where could he go? There was pretty much nothing to do here. There was the amusement park, but it wasn't the place where Keith would go in this bad mood and without money. So it was either the woods or the lake? 

 

With no more question in mind, Lance drove until he reached the narrow alley linking the lake to the road. What time was it again? _9:40 PM._ Keith must be cold outside and this simple thought tighten Lance's chest. He took off his coat and walked faster, yelling Keith's name louder, his voice echoing in this empty place. 

 

 

'Keith? Please are you here?'

 

 

No, answer _obviously._  

 

 

Lance yelled again supposing that if Keith was here, he'd be hiding somewhere he wouldn't be seen immediately by Lance. That was the reason why he climbed up a rock and gave a look to the ground. A sign left his mouth when he saw nothing, walking down, ready to go back to his car to drive again to the woods. Maybe, he should have gone to the forest before, he should've guess Keith would go there instead of the lake. 

 

_A stupid idea once again._

 

 

 

Lance groaned as he walked back to his car yet there was something yelling in his chest to stay, to check once again. So he ran back to the lake, water dropped on his feet, he couldn't care less as he checked over and over until he finally saw Keith. 

 

 

 

Keith didn't say anything when he saw Lance, he didn't startle or shiver, a simple movement of head, their eyes meeting and a silence. Probably him waiting for Lance to make the first step. The latter crouched down, sitting next to Keith, by that running his favourite jeans but he didn't care. All he cared about was the reason why everything took such a bad turn suddenly when it was good between them. 

 

 

Lance stared at him, wetting his lips a little as he tried to think of something he could without hurting his feeling again. So he waited, both waited and remained silent. Then he remembered Keith must feel cold, so he leaned forward covering Keith's back with the coat before he sat back in his former position. 

 

And Keith finally talked. 

 

 

 

'I- I'm not a junkie,' he warned Lance one last time before he took a shaky breath, looking at the water before him. 

 

 

Lance gave him a small nod to show his understanding of the situation, staying silent all the time to make sure he wasn't bothering Keith with his clumsiness. 

 

 

'Those syringes you've seen were my testosterone. Not my drug.'

 

 

Lance must have unconsciously winced because Keith frowned, breaking the eye contact to stare again at the lake. 

 

 

'I- I am a trans boy, Lance. I was born a girl but I felt like it wasn't my real self. My real self is Keith, your friend, the guy next to you. I'm not someone different, Lance. I haven't told you earlier because I knew you'd react like that. But you can't even trust me I guess.'

 

 

Lance looked at him when he wasn't  and took a moment to breath, to try to understand and Keith knew what he thought. 

 

 

'You needn't understand me. You only need to accept me just the way I am... if I'm your friend, uh.'

 

 

_A quiet promise._

 

Lance remained a moment silent before he gave Keith a reassuring smile. 'Of course you're my friend Keith. I- I overreacted today and I'm sorry I was a jerk.'

 

 

'Yeah you were a jerk,' Keith spat then he smirked a little, hiding it with his shoulder.

 

 

Lance scoffed, stood up and started walking towards the road where his car was parked. Followed by his friend, his dirty hands brushed his pants as he quickened his pace, ignoring the cool breeze, the whistle of the passing waves and the darkness of the sky being only lit thanks to the bright moonlight above them. Of course, he had to process the informations but the most important thing was he must be there for Keith nonetheless. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

                                    Hands laced, Kageyama walked out of the Suno studio with Hinata around 6 PM, just when the sun was going down and the streets started being crowded by the amount of students who wanted to enjoy the happy hours at the local bars. As always they would go to Kageyama’s apartment, eat together something he would have made in one moment without even knowing what he was going until he served the dish to an awfully starving Hinata. Then, they would fall asleep soon after talking about the duet, most of the time, it was like that. A small routine between them. Some habits. 

 

Come to think of it, Kageyama had never seen Hinata’s bedroom, they were always at his place, not that it bothered him since he was used to his apartment but sometimes he wondered why he had never been to Hinata’s place. But here, he decided to say nothing, curiosity was something he should avoid. 

 

They reached the gates of the building, Hinata talking about the holidays coming in two weeks, Christmas was soon and Kageyama almost forgot about it until Hinata initiated the talk. He didn't really care about Christmas celebration and his birthday. This time of the year was always the one he spent by himself, alone, working out or hid in his bedroom as his parents were either at work or here but barely acknowledging him. 

 

This year, even with Hinata, he knew it'd be terribly boring to celebrate, the time he had free would be used in training even more as he wanted instead of staying with his family, eating food his mom would have ordered before running to her work. Not that it annoyed him since all those things were meaningless, it was useless and just plain boring. 

 

 

'Hey, Tobio, what are you gonna do during the holidays?' 

 

 

Kageyama shrugged unintentionally, glancing down at the wooden floor of the stairs as he squeezed Hinata's hand making him whine a little. Why was he like that? He didn't want to look like a boring guy with nothing else in mind than ballet dancing so he remained silent.

 

'I- I am going to see my parents,' he shrugged again and opened the door. 'I guess, I'm gonna train a bit and yeah.'

 

 

Hinata grinned at him then took off his sweater, resting it in on a chair and joined Kageyama. The latter was in the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of green tea, he glanced at Hinata when he walked into the room wearing large shorts and the long sleeved t-shirt of the school. His arms wrapped around Kageyama's waist as he laid his head onto his back. 

 

'I'm gonna miss you Tobio,' he whispered, 'But yeah that's cool.'  

 

His chest arching, his eyes closed letting his hands cover Hinata's small one, Kageyama breathed shakily, thousands of words on the tip of his tongue that he couldn't say. Why? He didn't know but it was hard. 

 

 

_It hurt._

 

All he wanted was to show Hinata he cared about him but how? Words weren't his thing. Feelings and emotions weren’t his thing either. What could he do?

 

His grip on Hinata tightened, his back bent forward and he sighed. What was his thing anyway? Except being a dancer, what was he? _Nothing._

 

 

‘Hey, Tobio what’s going on?’ 

 

 

Hinata started worrying, grabbing him by the sleeve to turn him in his direction. His fingers clutched at Kageyama’s hair and dragged him to this height, his eyes always staring at the bright blue ones before him. He hated seeing Kageyama looking so insecure and small, it wasn’t how it was supposed to be, it must be Hinata the small one. Kageyama shouldn't let himself down, that was why Shouyou pinched his cheeks and kissed him quickly.

 

 

 

‘Don’t be emo right now, babe.’

 

 

 

 

 

With that said, he left the room going to take a shower since Kageyama had unlimited hot water and there was a heated floor in the room. It was an easy choice, no question. He now had his habits here, as long as he wasn’t taking over Tobio’s comfort zone, both shared their moment together but whenever Tobio wanted to be alone, Hinata would leave. They didn’t even need to say it to each other because it was okay for them, a silent understanding between the two guys. Their bond went deeper than what words could explain. Sometimes, they spent hours laid in bed, Kageyama flat on his back, his legs spread on the sheets with Hinata laying with his whole weight and wearing a toothy grin. They danced most of the time they were together, spinning across the Suno studio with one of Shouyou’s friends, Kenma or it could be Akaashi when he was free and wanted to practice piano peacefully. For this, he knew he could play with no worries since they would dance and sometimes kiss but it was never too much and their alchemy while dancing was always something beautiful to witness. 

 

Hinata hummed the lyrics of some pop song stuck in his head as he rubbed his head with his thin fingers, struggling to get the foam away from his face. Although, minutes showering often turned into hours, he had to make it quick that evening. The hot water was running against his skin, soothing his tensed muscles. After rinsing his body, he left the shower, wrapping his body with a clean towel. He smiled at the contact with the thick fabric as he tiptoed to the sink where his clothes, most likely stole from Tobio’s closet, were set there. 

 

 

Kageyama sighed. If Hinata had showered in the studio’s lockers, it would have been faster. Not that he missed him or anything but Hinata was logic at all, proving it every single day they were together. Kageyama wasn’t the smartest, _not even close to that,_ yet some little facts couldn't be more obvious to anyone. Just like the fact that Hinata has always eaten the stuffing before the wrapping then would whine because his hands were dirty or when he forgets to eat because he was too busy talking with his friends. Although it sounded annoying to be around someone who wasn’t able to take care of himself enough to follow a basic eating schedule, it felt good to be with him. 

 

 

Like a sun, Hinata gave Kageyama the desire to smile more. Everyday with him was another adventure they would explore together. Okay, it undermined his habits, by stealing his clothes, eating junk food, listening to loud bubble pop music and watching sappy movies instead of practicing their routine. 

 

 

 

_It was different and not that bad._

 

 

When he saw Shouyou walking in the room wearing a t-shirt too large for him and a pair of short, Kageyama sighed again. 

 

 

‘Tobio, you're ready?’

 

 

‘For?’

 

 

Hinata scoffed as he leaned down to grab his shoes, an old pair Converse supposed to be white but turned greyish with time. ‘Wait, you forgot? We’re supposed to eat at Kuroo’s place tonight. They’re waiting for us.’

 

 

With a snort Kageyama followed him. Yeah, he completely forgot about that dinner with Tsukishima, Kuroo and their friends. Not that he didn’t want to go or anything, just his memory messing with him. If he wasn’t with Shouyou, he would be with Tsukishima who was trying to help him with his classes, in order for him to not fail his year. They were actually spending a lot of time together, Tsukishima with a book in his hands and Kageyama struggling to learn the basic elements of sciences. 

 

Tobio couldn't say if it was because Tsukishima suspected Kuroo to cheat on him with Bokuto or it was because he was just worried about his friend’s education but it was still useful. 

 

That would never be said out loud though.

 

 

‘What are you going to do for the Christmas break?’

 

 

For just a moment, Hinata glanced at Kageyama, the shadow of a frown appearing before gritting his bottom lip. Was he sad? Both remained silent a few minutes before Hinata looked up with a large _fake_ smile and breathed out. 

 

 

‘Nothing. I no longer celebrate Christmas and all.’

 

 

Frowning, Kageyama swallowed hard, desperately trying to make eye contact with Hinata but the latter didn’t seem interested in that. Hazel eyes stared right before him, the faint gleam from the streetlight was not enough for them to see clearly while walking. It could be that Hinata was pretending to be busy walking so he wouldn't have to clarify his answer.  Kageyama didn’t care about these celebrations so why was Hinata acting weird suddenly?

 

 

‘I’m starving holy shit.’

 

 

As Hinata grumbled these words, his hand let go of Kageyama’s hold, walking faster away from him. Avoiding Tobio wasn’t on his list of bad habits. And at this exact moment, Tobio knew he was dodging the main topic for some reasons. Usually, it was not a bother when Hinata wasn’t talking but there, something appeared off. Kageyama couldn't put a name on it but eventually, he decided to put his curiosity aside. It could wait. 

 

 

He took a deep breath, gazing at Hinata’s back, his hips swinging at each step closer to Kuroo’s ridiculously huge apartment. ‘‘Okay. I wanted to know if you could be interested in practicing with me during the Christmas break. Especially now that I know you've got nothing planned.’

 

 

There was a movement of Hinata's head at those words, a glance at Tobio and something he could swear he has never seen on Shouyou's face. At first, he thought his partner was about to cry when Hinata frowned lightly but then a grin made his way to his lips. 

 

 

 

A soft laugh echoed his the empty street as Hinata closed the distance between them, pecking Kageyama on his lips, slowly. His boyfriend kissed back, smirking at Hinata's eagerness. Honestly, Shouyou could be soft and less touchy than his usual all clingy self. Sometimes it was Tobio the clingy one, holding onto Hinata until he get kissed or often they would end up making out in random places. Just like one day, it just happened. Both were horny mess and Kageyama wanted to touch him more and more until they made out in the Suno studio showers. Obviously, Kageyama made sure they were the only one there and wouldn't be bothered. The day after however Sugawara had given him strange looks the entire day so there was a little chance they've been caught having sex the day before. 

 

 

And at this exact moment, Kageyama wanted to run back home with him to do everything his hormones told him, he couldn't though because Hinata was  apparently super excited to see his friends and eat with them. They were already almost late, Kageyama noticed when he gave a look to his phone on which it was written in bright colours the time _7:30pm_

 

 

 

 

 _‘_ Let’s go Tobio,’ Hinata hissed when he saw Kageyama’s phone. They were definitely late even if the apartment was at the end of this street where all the houses were everything except for regular _broke_ students. 

 

 

 

 

 

A sudden knock on the door made Kei startled, his tired eyes met Tetsurou’s before his boyfriend stood up and walked to the doorway. With that Kei returned his focus on Yamaguchi, he was talking about this Pokemon app on his phone to hunt the little monsters all around the city. Tsukishima didn’t really understand the point of this game but it apparently interested Kenma since the guy, sat next to Akaashi, seemed to sneak some bribes of their conversation while pretending to be playing some game on his brand new Nintendo console.

 

Tsukishima was just ravenously hungry, his stomach yelling for food especially since Akaashi was walking in and out of the kitchen as if he was preparing a presidential dinner when it was only supposed to be something casual just a small thing between friends. But time passed and he was still waiting for Kageyama and Hinata to join them.  He had been laying on this couch for hours now, Bokuto talked about how the gala was messing with him through the number of things he had to study and learn, Akaashi was oddly silent, glancing sometimes at him with his natural tired face. Kei had been curious about it and whispered at Kuroo if he was okay or if there was anything bothering, his only answer was merely a shrug before he shifted back his attention on Bokuto’s words. 

 

 

Still, after hours only this knock on the door managed to make Kuroo move off his seat. All this time, he was just busy staring at his best friend. 

 

 

 

_Bestfriend, my ass._

 

 

Kei was pretty sure he was cheated on by Tetsurou although he had no real proof, just high doubts on him. Perhaps that was a dumb lie, some awful presumptions he shouldn't have but the more he stayed in this room, looking at them, the more obvious it looked. He was ready to yell _Stop drooling at someone else in front of me_ but what if he wasn’t actually doing that. 

 

 

Kei sat straight in his seat when he saw Kageyama and Hinata walking in the room. First, he thought about the word straight snorting at it with a lazy smile, if someone had to be straight in this room, it wouldn't be him. Then, his smile widened when he saw how confused Kageyama looked, standing in a corner of the room whereas his partner, _boyfriend,_ was already busy talking with everyone in the room. Surprisingly, Hinata always managed to make Kenma put his video game away as he was to busy listening to what his friend was saying. 

 

 

A faint clap of Kuroo’s hands in the kitchen caused every single person in the room to turn their head and have a peep at the open door. ‘Dinner’s ready!’

 

 

 

Hinata was already rubbing his stomach, bouncing on his tiny legs towards the table where Akaashi and Kuroo were by this time bustling to bring an stunningly huge number of dishes, each one filled with something different. 

 

 

Tobio felt his stomach yelling after the food. Okay, he didn’t know he was that hungry before now. It wasn’t his fault, the dishes seemed really tasty, enough that he couldn't wait any longer before eating something. He recognised one of the dishes, his stomach calmer in all of a sudden. The sight of it tightened his chest a little as he sat down next to Hinata. _Pork cutlet curry._ His favorite dish, the one his grandmother always cooked him whenever it was cold outside and he was exhausted after a long day in his practice course. Tobio was closed to his _Obaba,_ much more than to his parents, always busy with work, they had no time to see their son, his progress and how talented he was. For them, his ballet was just another thing. Only his grandmother understood how addicted and good he actually was at it. They had spent hours talking about it together while she was cooking his favourite meal. 

 

 

For months, almost years, he shrugged off the thought of missing his own grandmother because it would mean he’s a weak person. 

 

Until that evening, he was staring at the dish, his brows furrowed, when the realisation hit him. 

 

 

‘You’re okay Ballerina?’

 

 

His eyes met Tsukishima’s golden ones before his friend turned his head, taking a share of rice with meatballs and even with food, the plate still remained half empty. As he glanced at his own plate, Kageyama decided to serve himself a large plate of curry, ignoring Hinata’s pressing look. 

 

 

‘You don’t eat Hi-Shouyou?’

 

 

Hinata smiled at him, hearing Tobio calling him by his first name was still causing his stomach to flip. He wasn’t used to it, so was Kageyama, stuttering whenever he called Hinata this way. It seemed so intimate to use this as a way to call him. So it was easy when they were home and Kageyama would want to let him in his comfort zone. Yet here, it was harder to be close and intimate with his boyfriend because it kept making Tobio uncomfortable. Pushing buttons leading to some parts of him he didn’t want to be seen publicly. 

 

 

‘You seem exhausted Keiji, do you sleep enough?’ Hinata asked between two mouthful of noodles. All eyes shifted on Akaashi as he looked up, chewing slowly, either to avoid the question or maybe it was just innocent. Then he swallowed, looking at Kenma’s tired face and sighed. 

 

_Why were them all on him when also Kenma, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi all seemed tired?_

 

 

 _‘_ I do,’ he breathed out then stood up, serving himself a whole plate of rice and broccoli before he sat down again. He didn’t want his friends to pity him, he was perfectly fine. Why did they feel the need to rub salt on the wounds? 

 

 

With a shrug Hinata stopped talking about that and turned his head to look at his boyfriend, _if they were actually dating_ , and grinned at him. They were sort of cute together. Keiji hasn't known them for a while but whenever he’d saw them together, he had the impression that, yes, they made a good duet. 

Years had passed and now his best friend was spending all his time with Kuroo, ignoring pretty much everything he was going through. Bokuto wasn’t his only friend, obviously, but it still hurt to see him drooling at Kuroo instead of just spending time with Keiji. 

 

In those moments, he always regretted his _Fuck off I am blasé_ attitude because it was currently backlashing him in the face. 

 

 

Yamaguchi remained silent since they started eating, Kei sometimes gave him side looks, betting it was because of the entire screwed up situation. 

 

The kiss which happened a few days ago wasn’t forgotten. It never happened again since then because, of course, both were dating someone, both were just acting out of weakness and desperation. 

 

 

Despite everything ,hee had tried to forget about it, Tadashi’s stiff grip on him, the small sloppy kisses on his lips, the way he moaned Kei’s name as if it was an incantation. All the little things Tadashi had done that night were printed in his heart, impossible to erase. Their bond was too strong to forget this moment. Kei started worrying it might only be a moment for life, something with no impact Yamaguchi’s life when it was already taunting Kei. 

 

 

‘What are you going to do for the Christmas Celebrations?’ Kuroo broke the heavy silence, wearing his usual bright smile that Kageyama started suspecting fake. Kuroo looked like someone pretty fake with no moral at all, even though it wasn’t his place to say. 

 

 

‘Hinata’s coming with me to Philly,’ Kageyama mumbled as he sticked his fork into his fourth pork cutlet. 

 

 

Tsukishima couldn’t resist. ‘That’s so romantic! But you can’t beat my plans for this break’

 

 

Kuroo frowned a little and scratched his neck. ‘Actually…’ 

 

 

 _What the fuck did he mean by ‘actually’?_ Kei frowned, not even noticing the strong grip he had on his fork, not even noticing his best friend’s hand on his shoulder. 

 

 

‘Actually what?’ Tsukishima repeated, voice low, almost scoffing. He looked when Kuroo swallowed and avoided eye contact, staring at his plate instead. 

 

 

‘I- I haven’t told you yet but Koutarou and I planned to go to a music practice course in Toronto for the break.’

 

 

Kageyama swore all colour had left his friend’s face at those words. He knew Tsukishima had planned to spend his winter break with his boyfriend in his hometown, in California and there was he, spending it with Bokuto. _Okay_ , he understood they were close friend but Kuroo knew they were supposed to spend the Christmas vacations together. 

 

 

‘I thought we were spending the holidays together. I thought we’d celebrate our fourth year anniversary together but okay. You know what Kuroo? Fuck you. I’m tired of your shit. If you love Bokuto more than me then fuck off. Do whatever the hell you want. I’m tired.’

 

 

Everyone stared as Tsukishima stood up, calm voice, the worst, walking to the door. 

 

 

‘Tsukki!’ Yamaguchi yelled desperately trying to stop his childhood friend. Then just as all the guys sat there, he glared at Kuroo. 

 

 

Kenma swallowed, considering Kuro for a moment before opening his mouth, closing it and reopened it when he gave up on the idea of being soft. 

 

 

 

 

 

_‘Congratulation Kuro, you played yourself.’_

 

 


End file.
